Stock advice in actual English.
Joined Sep 2, 2009
1,224 Blog Posts

Stocks Are Going Higher

Alright, it’s almost 11 am. I’ve been patient; checking elements of the market, getting a feel for things, looking at the state of affairs.

The Christmas Rally ™ is happening. We’re going higher.

I don’t care about the fiscal cliff. Frankly, I wish the media outlets that coined this term would start printing bumper stickers and selling them next to “Shit Happens” “WWJD” and “Kerry/Edwards”. Fuck the fiscal cliff.

Uncle Ben Bernanke is dropping $100 billion this December, making sure present’s rain from the skies. Santa and his breaking-and-entering ways are being sponsored by the Federal Reserve this year kids. And when you open that new iPhone, preloaded with Fed Spending-and-Tracking software, you’re going to be so stoked, I promise you’ll forget all about the $200 bucks you’re about to lose in annual taxes.

Who are you fucking kidding, buddy? Every one of us knows you’re a drunk who was going to spend more than that in bars. I bet you piss more than that away racing your fucking Harley around the countryside every summer. Or that speedboat.

I know you, my fellow Americans. Don’t play coy with me. I grew up surrounded by union, blue collar relatives. You play broke, bitch about everyone, then finish up your lectures as you walk out the door to go pack before your latest cruise to God-knows-where.

We’re going over the fiscal cliff. And it’s not going to change a thing. The only difference is your $20,000 a year jackass is going to have to surrender dreams of buying up to that Cadillac SRX Crossover, continuing instead to drive around the older, less awesome Cadillac Luxury SUV, because he won’t have enough after factoring in food stamps and low income housing to push up his loan payments any more. He’ll just have to continue sinking his entire paycheck into a lavish, secret lifestyle, and maybe – “God forbid” – buy down.

Ben is dropping $1 trillion into markets this year. And I don’t believe for a second the middle class can’t afford an extra few hundred bucks a year. I’ve seen the frivolous shit they buy, to this very day.

We’re going higher, until Europe derails us again.

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  1. charliebroccoli

    Having lived in the Midwest for 90% of my life, I can wholeheartedly say that you prefectly described that Union demographic.

    They’ll have to settle for the 16′ Bass Tracker boat with the 150 HP engine instead of the 20′ with the 200 HP one etc., etc., etc.

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  2. jimmy_two_times

    Goof call Cain, its checked back to the Euro trash, and either the drag us down or they pone up.

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