Mother of Odin, I am so damn sore and tired. It feels good, but at the same time I feel like a zombie tonight. My mind is actually sharp, but it seems like getting the signal from there to my fingers is labored. That’s the consequence of a max effort deadlift day I suppose. When I was lying in bed this morning watching “Hot Carl” on CNBC, I was thinking to myself, “there’s no way I am getting out of here,” but here I am. We are living in a NOFX song, a Bad Religion song, and a Pennywise song. While some of us wish we ere in a Misfits song and others think they’re in Sesame Street song. That’s a whole lot of songs isn’t it. Sometimes I annoy myself so badly I have to share it with you.

As we all know, I love beer, especially hoppy West Coast IPA’s. Look, if I wanted to go drink booze made from rice, that doesn’t look like goat urine, I’ll just grab some sake with some sushi. I’m talking about real beer. Now I have a love hate relationship with beer, I love it, it’s my favorite thing, but it gets you hammered, which is not cool on weeknights. The solution, just like decaf coffee, is to try to retain the flavour without the drug, boo ya (don’t judge my exuberance). The Northern Europeans– of course –nailed this. Guinness in Ireland is 4.2%, big “Northern Bosses” drink this all day after throwing logs and hurling stones, all the while with perfectly manicured beards and moustaches. It’s an extremely efficient system at retaining the flavour. ‘Murica, in the spirit of excess, is behind the times.

You very rarely see someone go to a bar to hang out all day that doesn’t get wasted. Most English Paled Ales are in the <5% range, thus, people are able to go to pubs and just converse all day, in the old way, without becoming so drunk they are incoherent. They are almost always able to walk home, and this is a common practice after getting off work. Here in the US if you drink everyday you are an alcoholic, but if you get blacked out one to two days a week, you are normal. That’s some stupid American logic, but what else is new. Think about the Italians– holy shit I have something nice to say –they drink wine all day, and they are way healthier than Americans, on average.

I love to drink my beer, but I hate coffee. So, I went to BevMo to find hoppy beers with 5% abv or less. There are a few good breweries that put out hoppy “Session Ales,” (this type of beer), but they are summer seasonal. Thus I am searching for the best ones I can find. First, I tried one bottle of “Hazed and Confused” by Boulder Beer Company at 5% ABV, I’d give it a 3.5/5, it has the nose, but finishes like a Mirror Pond, okay, but not epic. I’m just finishing a “Genesis Dry Hopped Session Ale” by He’Brew, (Schmaltz Brewing), out of New York, at 5.2% (according to BeerAdvocate.com, but that’s not what it said at the store, so I will have to confirm), I’d give it a 4/5, it has the perfect malt and smell, but if they had just added Zeus hops to the boil to give it a citrusy-pine kick, it would be perfect.

Time to relax, but I am going to try Big Sky “Scape Goat Pale Ale,” at 4.6% ABV, and Firestone “Pale 31” at 4.95% ABV. I’ll let you know how they were tomorrow.

Top picks: Long SWHC, RGR, UA, NFLX, and Short STP

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