11 Take it from Leo Getz: “Don’t ever go up to the drive-thru; always walk up to the counter…You know why? Because they fuck you at the drive-thru!!”
I don’t know if this has ever happened to you or “they’re” just out to get me…But this happens to me alot and it is really starting to fucking irk me…
I roll up to the drive-thru window, order the shit that I know will be the cause of my death, much sooner than later, but I’m hungrier than fuck and there’s no way anyone is gonna stop this runaway locomotive now; plus have YOU ever tried backing the fuck out of a drive-thru window once you’ve drove in?? Anyways, I hand the punk kid drive-thru guy my money and await patiently for the 2 cents he owes me in change.
Not that I own one of those gay fucking change purses or ‘man bags’ you see these ‘metro’ fuckers are carrying around town these days, but I have become pretty proficient in finding the correct change on the floor or in the seats of the minivan. Now I mind you I am fairly adept at math, being of Asian descent and University educated and all, the amount I hand over is usually in close range of what I owe, sometimes really close; most times exactly, because that’s how I roll…
The drive-thru guy then hands me my food I’ve ordered and says, “Have a nice day..” completely skipping his end of the money transaction of handing over my change, and avoiding eye contact obviously knowing he has just skiffed me on my 2 cents!
I just then come to the realization that what we’re dealing with here is a shrewd minded criminal working on his master plan to rip every cash paying customer by pennies, so at the end of the day, he makes off with his $4 bucks of tax free cashola! That Mother Fucker!!
What the fuck is this world coming to anyways??
Did I miss the memo involving new policies in consumer transactions where a nominal “tip” is automatically tacked on the total sum of the bill, whether you know about it or not?? I do realize the Canadian government is trying to do away with the penny and we, Albertans, have become quite the self-entitled, self-centred assholes since the last oil boom, but is there a new entitlement tax now I am unaware of?? Have we become such a society practicing such degeneracy that we have become so fucking lazy it’s not worth our while to return MY two cents? Or is it because we’ve all become so dependent on using credit and debit cards, that we have actually forgotten how cash works?
In addition, I do not especially appreciate the identity crisis I am now faced with every time this happens. Am I the type of piker who stews over 2 cents? Is my dignity worth taking a financial hit of mere pennies?
Now you’re probably thinking, geez..it’s only two cents buddy…mere pennies… I mean if it was me behind that window, I would be thinking, “Fuck dude, relax, it’s only a couple of pennies… times must be tough or what, buddy…”
Now, what if the drive-thru guy scams you for $5? $20? $100? Let’s say you use your debit card or credit card instead and the drive-thru guy skims it with another magnetic stripe reader he has stashed under the counter so he can wipe out your entire net worth by tomorrow?? How about huckster bankers fudging numbers to the tune of $50 billion before releasing any financial statements?
But this is different you say? How the fuck can you compare Lehman and the drive-thru window at McDonald’s, to each other? The Lehman scam involved egregious sums of money…millions, billions, trillions of dollars we’re talking here; wiping out the global economy as we know it.. while the drive-thru..’mere’ pennies.
Really?
So when you dickwads, talk shit like, “it’s bullshit Apple can have patents for little nuances as a rectangular shape with rounded corners..”, “I can’t believe something as little as ‘pinch and zoom’ , Apple is fretting over..”, ” Note to Apple. I have a TV with runded edges and one that is rectangular, and I’ve seen round and square TVs in the past. Your move..”, “patents should be abolished…they inhibit innovation..”, you obviously think it’s utter bullshit everyone making a such big deal of patents and some pretty minut details on a fucking phone… So Samsung should get off without consequences then over such small and foolish details such as patents?
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| Oh look..Dipshit is at it again… |
Well, this involve billions of dollars too. How is this so different than Lehman?
Because it’s not. It’s the principle of it, fuckface. It’s not about rounded bezels or pinch zooming or rectangular shapes. Stealing is still stealing no matter how small or big the amount.
If you disagree, then NO ONE should wonder as to why NOT one fucking charge has been brought against anyone regarding the biggest bankruptcy in US history??
Time to start “sweating the small stuff”… and I’m not your “buddy”..
11 Responses to “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff… Fuck You.”
zenhunter
Btw, giving your argument and if Samsung’s appeal fails to abolish the rectangular with round corner patent infringement, then it is only FAIR that the Samsung should have THEIR day in court when AAPL tries to come out with a bigger iPhone with bigger screen since Samsung and other manufacturers were already ahead in that direction.
In other words, AAPL just opens a can of worm in the patent infringement environment that will eventually block itself from coming up with a new product design.
Imagine this scenario if the rectangular with round corners patent infringement hold after the appeal, Samsung and other manufacturers, along with thousands (if not millions) of creative designers will be filing patent protection for zillion of possible mutation of mobile design just to cash in on possible design infringement.
It is akin to the early website investors who bought the URL addresses for all possible popular names so they can sell it to the high bidders who need it.
Do you think they will sell their design to AAPL for a song? The smart one will say, “I’ll call you back” and then proceed to call Samsung for a counter-offer.
AAPL may have won now but in the long run, they lose. Especially when they don’t have Steve Job to be the trailblazer.
Heisenberg
Indeud, protection of property rights is a double edged sword. I would think Apple has enough smart guys to know what the implications were when they patented rectangles and if they won or lost the case.
But forget the shapes and stuff.. it’s not my point.. is it make it right then if the drive-thu guy steals from me because I may face the consequence of his Triad buddies breaking my legs because I happen to rat him out and get him fired?? I mean it’s only 2 cents, no? So this gives all drive thru guys the right to fuck a cash paying customer over? Because that was Samsung’s underlying argument the whole trial.. “yes we copied but everyone is doing it…” IMHO, this case doesn’t do much other than save us the consumer from the inflood of clones that woulda hit the market if Apple lost.
And I think its for the better; it sends a message that you just can’t easily clone anyone else’s shit without consequence… at least tweak it, not clone it exactly and sell it on the cheap or else we become like China with all their fucktarded knockoffs– there’s a reason why everything looks the same there. Just like the drive-thru guy and his Triad buddies; it just makes it harder on them and they forced to come up with more creative ways to rob us at the drive-thru.
As for Apple, I think it forces them to continue to innovate and create the next greatest thing else face becoming MSFT or RIMM…Why? Everyone else is innovating and they just might come up with the next greatest thing before Apple does… As a consumer and Apple guy, I don’t want another iPhone with just a bigger screen! Blow my mind!!
On a more personal note, I think both companies WON big. Think of the free media exposure they got.. hell, a billion bucks to become the number one phone maker in the world without doing fuck all in R&D, I’d do that any day of the week.. helluva deal for Samsung! But I personally think they’re both in cahoots; remember they have a 5 billion dollar per year relationship outside the courtroom…
zenhunter
Smart guys are over-rated everywhere in Corporate America. Where are they when Lehman Brothers went under?
The ONLY smart guy that COUNT was Steve Job. Before Steve Job came back, the smart guys could not save AAPL.
My point is that if you “abuse” the patent process like protecting a rectangular with round corner, you allow extremity that will only HURT the creative process instead of protecting it.
How about if I patented a ROUND clock and got protection for it?
Your 2 pennies analogy is not compatible since it is a “direct” thief. There is no if or but since they took your 2 pennies. A more relevant analogy will be that you got less than a quarter lbs of beef when you paid for a quarter lbs hamburger. So, you weighted the hamburger meat and filed a class action lawsuit and won. Guess what, you next quarter lbs you buy will cost a whole lot more…
I could understand the bouncing page on the bottom since it is so much easier to come with something original like water splashing when the page hit the bottom; but a rectangular with round corner is to me an abuse of patent process.
Thanks for the gentleman debate.
Heisenberg
I always welcome debate.
I’m no lawyer and yes my penny analogy is too simplistic at best, but so is just the rectangle with rounded corners debate– there’s more to that patent and a bigger issue at stake. It’s not ok for the Chinese just to copy and clone even though we, as a consumer get shit on the cheap and because of that it’s ok? Like Stevie J said before, that isn’t innovation but a race to the bottom.
And speaking of Steve Jobs, give Jony Ive and Tim Cook a little credit. They were the ones that made Apple happen. Apple couldn’t keep up with demand before Cook and Apple figured the cloning process of beige machines was the way to go before Ive… Marketing and selling it to the masses was Steve Jobs greatest contribution.
zenhunter
Without Steve Job, there would be no Jony Ive or Tim Cook; that is my point. Steve Job’s prowess was not just marketing; he also had the ability to SEE the talent in people with the ability to help him achieved his vision. Steve then wooed them to work for him and AAPL.
Now, Jony Ive and Tim Cook could maintain Steve’s vision before he passed away, but can they continue the vision process without Steve? This is a loaded question and that is why I’ve no qualm shorting AAPL when there is a chart setup for it.
Nevertheless, I admit my opinion regarding AAPL without Steve Jobs cost me dearly in term of opportunity cost of making a boat load of dough like you do.
But knowing my friend is making a bandit like you do is good enough for me.
Cheers!
elizamae
Minivan…nice.
Heisenberg
Damn straight. I love minivans. My first vehicle was a VW Spicoli van… total party wagon when I was in my 20’s and everyone was sporting a chevette… Now when you’re actually living the stereotype of having wife yelling at 3 hellions commited to mortal combat with each other in the backseat …it just becomes that less cool now.. FML
elizamae
I only have 1 hellion (with another on the way), but we already made the plunge into minivandom. Though I suppose growing up with a minivan softened the blow a bit.
Now I just laugh at parents trying to strap their 20 month old into the back of their “cool as fuck” coupe. How’s that working out for you brah?
Heisenberg
LOL! I forgot about that imagery!! Seen that often around here too…
MX2101
The drive through kid is doing it HFT style. A few pennies, over and over….
Heisenberg
it does have its benefits