The Verdict is In, And You Are An Asshat!

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If you haven’t heard already because you so happen to live under a fucking rock or was lying face down in the mud, too inebriated from drinking your face off to check the news on your iPhone, Apple has been awarded $1.05 billion in damages after a ruling from a US court that Samsung “willfully” infringed on 6 of 7 Apple patents.

After the decision was announced,  AAPL share price ripped to the upside printing all time highs in after hours trading,  the news media tapped furiously on their keyboards like coke-addled monkeys in Shriner hats, spreading the news and touting how this verdict is going to change the entire industry towards Apple’s favor…

Apple fanboys around the globe cheered with glee, AND are still rejoicing, doing lines of blow with Sherlock Holmes pipes and hollering at the top of their lungs, while strutting their shit through the streets like porn stars with two erect dicks, dressed up in clown suits riding unicycles, beating their chests with both fists in between doing Jersey Shore fist pumpsTebows,  and high fiving each other, Top-Gun-style

 

 

Meanwhile the ‘anti-Apple’ crowd went full retard Hulking rage temper tantrum, turning green and shit, purple pants and all, ripping their shirts off, throwing furniture and hissy fits around, ready “to go” with anyone and everyone full contact, @Rhino_cap trying to get a tab-style, whilst eating sour grapes and smashing their middle fingers against their ‘big screen TV’ Samsung phones, crying like the litte bitches they are and talking shit over the internets, on how unfair and what BS the decision was…

It was simply amazing just how much shit was posted all over the blogosphere and twitter by all the “hardcore” Samsung lovers:

“Apple won but the consumer lost”, “be prepared to pay more for your smartphones”, “it’s crap that Apple has a patent for rectangular device with rounded corners”, “the judge was paid off by Apple”, “Apple chose to have court dominance rather than compete”,  “the verdict was anti-competition, anti-consumer”, “unfortunate that patent law can be manipulated”, “a reasonable judge will overturn this on appeal”, “There is an Apple-boycott campaign underway”,  “Apple stole from Palm, these patents are ridiculous”, “if IBM sued like Apple, Apple wouldn’t exist today”, “Apple just killed innovation”, “Apple took Samsung to court so they wouldn’t have to lower their price”, “AAPL going to crash to $500.00”.

And the list goes on…

Even billionaire Mark Cuban @mcuban got in on the shitshow, proving to the entire world he has no clue about the history of computers and even all the money in the world could not change the fact he is just another asshat with a gay Samsung phone.  So suddenly all this patent shit is bullshit because Apple won?? Hold it.  Doesn’t Cuban own 7.4% of patent troll VRNGan entire business based upon suing companies over patents?? But I’m sure you got no problem if VRNG wins their suit against Google. Yeah. Asshat. And a hypocritical douchebag of the first order to boot.. My respect for Kevin O’Leary just increased ten-fold..




What a sorry exhibition it was….  Seriously,  are you that fucking blind man??  You mean to tell me Apple has NO influence on Samsung products whatsoever?? Even their stores are copied!!  Click on the link and see for yourself!! 


How I personally feel about this whole ordeal is exactly how Bob Lefsetz so eloquently said it on Barry Ritholtz’s blog:

“As for the Samsung Galaxy products… If you don’t think they’re a rip-off of Apple gear, you’re truly blind.

And this is about everything musicians rail about. Copyrights. Only in this case, it’s called patents. Can someone steal with impunity?

Then again, patents don’t last forever.

But can you ride the back of someone else’s hard work and innovation to riches? Can someone copy your CD at no cost? If you don’t think so, then you must come down on the side of Apple in this lawsuit, however much you hate the Cupertino company.

And in this case, it was the best against the best. And the judge was a hoot, she’d take no gruff, she didn’t lose control of her courtroom. Hell upon seeing Apple’s witness list, she asked the company’s barristers if they were smoking crack!

And I don’t want to get into a lengthy discussion of whether patent protection should exist, I’ll just say there were rules. And Samsung broke them, just like Lance Armstrong.”





 

The thing is, I am trying to comprehend as to why these Samsung “fanboys”, or rather ‘Apple haters’ get so fucking wound up over anything about Apple??  How many shares of Samsung do YOU own?? None? Of course not!  You can’t even buy shares of it on this side of the world! Believe me, I’ve tried.  I personally like their business and they make such great copies of Sony TVs…  Oh.. So you JUST own a Samsung phone? And perhaps a TV.. Good on you…   So you spend this much energy and passion playing this game of “my dick is bigger than your dick” ONLY to justify your smartphone purchase…wow.

So, in what OTHER way does this verdict affect you? So I’m guessing that “evil empire” that is Apple, can now ‘legally’ use the force to make all Samsung smartphones suddenly shut down, crawl up your ass and spontaneously explode??  Or are you just mad because you already know you fucked up locking in to a 3-year contract for an obsolete phone?? Well,  not to worry that new HTC or Motorola RAZR smartphone release is just around the corner…   Because that’s how much loyalty Samsung owners have…  Who the fuck cares? As if anyone gives a fuck and was going to suddenly change their mind because of their fucktarded opinion on patents, throw their entire iTunes music collection they’ve been building since 2001 out the window, and run out and buy the new fucking Sony Xperia….

Yes, I am biased towards AAPL. I hold stupid-as-fuck amounts of AAPL stock as well as I’m locked in for life into the Apple ecosystem. And yes, this verdict means something to me because it just paid for my next iMac, iPhone 5, iPad Mini, and kids’ university education.  At least I can respect them Crackberry guys. Most are loyal to their brand and probably own shares in RIMM; they’re freaking out because shares are going to $00.00… I can respect that. I can see why they want to defend their precious smartphone purchase.  But you Samsung guys… You guys are asshats. Just like Mark.

12 Responses to “The Verdict is In, And You Are An Asshat!”

  1. Here is something else to keep your apple flame burning http://www.marketwatch.com/story/the-bigger-they-are-the-harder-they-fall-2012-08-24

    • All good things must come to an end, but not yet… they’ve been talking about Apple’s Demise since the original iPod…

  2. It seems to me that the reach of intellectual property rights has wide, often vague border. Many things are clearly derivative, once the bias of a particular generation of people is removed.

    Consumer products are like hit records. Consider the keyboard sound , tempo and progression in “Haven’t met you yet” by Michael Buble’. I have no idea who did this first, but should everyone be rounded up and taken to court? And what is wrong with everyone piling on a hit idea? The consumers do this, and that is why fads occur. In music, think auto-tune, vocoder stepped hooks, and the stupid song construction of most hip-hop hits.

    You can’t round ’em all up and tell them to stop, because the audience/consumer wants it.

    Is it OK for a corporation to consider a common word intellectual property, and fight for exclusive use of it?

    I realize people who design shapes want and deserve protection, but shouldn’t there be a limit to appropriation of already established shapes, and things that are “obvious to a person skilled in the art.” ?

    Should a corporation with the biggest muscle and brand power be able to ignore this, and claim ownership “just because”

    btw- I think Samsung did copy Apple. But…. the Android operation system directs the hardware designer to a shape and function that is similar to the iPhone. Just like if designing a screwdriver is the task, everyone ends up at about the same place.

    • Yogi and Boo Boo

      If I understand the music biz, artists today need an army or rights people to negotiate samples, and what is or is not fair use. Like I say below, it’s a giant rent seeking drag on innovation and creativity. On the idea of patenting the shape of a rounded rectangle, I created that in the 6th grade.

  3. Yogi and Boo Boo

    Patents should be abolished. They are total bullshit. Patents in technology are even more bullshit then they were in iron and steel manufacturing days. Software patents? give me a break. Business Process patents? HAH! Copyright? Sure, for a reasonable period. Twenty years tops. Then it should go into the public domain.

    All of this garbage just stifles innovation, and raises costs. Can you imagine if the Internet and WWW was created by “private enterprise” and patented? You sure would not be reading this. Everyone wants a fucking moat so they can pull up the drawbridge and sit on their fat ass. Can you imagine if basic science research was patentable? Oh wait… Genes created by God Almighty are patentable. What a crock.

  4. Should have been “has a wide ”

    Not meaning to rant too much-

    But my view is these days many software and hardware companies have an overblown idea of their importance in the consumers life. Sorry guys, but the smartphone is now a utility.

    Have you ever dealt with software or hardware that “thinks” it is part of you daily lifestyle and demands attention? I don’t want to interact and join a community to use a light switch or flush the toilet.

    In my day job we have a piece of new hardware that the manufacturer clearly thinks our life should revolve around. We (the customer) think it is a routine utility function, but the manufacturer thinks we should devote weeks of attention to achieve an end result no different from before.

    I think much of this is the huge ego of today’s software and hardware developers.

    Oops, gotta go. Adobe Reader wants to interact with me…

  5. Patent laws abolished?? Without then you get China– there’s a reason why everything looks the same there… The drag on innovation occurs when there are no consequences for stealing someone else’s ideas; why bother creating something? Just wait, and there will be a cheaper knockoff to buy soon..

  6. This post has some great hilarious writing as well as being informative. Great job, Mr. Heisenberg.

    Now, where was this same group of jury when AAPL was suing MSFT back then about the “Windows” look on the computer screen? Back then MSFT was the investors’ darling and I bet most of the juries’ relatives own MSFT.

    Did anyone check if any of the jury in the trials (including their relatives) own AAPL stocks?

    Thanks god I followed my trading plan and closed my AAPL put option trades for small losses not too long ago and moved on.

    Congratulation once again! Now I will go celebrate with my friend who also own a boat load of AAPL… 🙂

    • Thank you Sir, you are a scholar and a gentleman. Glad to hear you got out just in time… shorts will be properly executed on Monday…

  7. I agree with the verdict, and that Samsung copied Apple. Good for Apple and their shareholders, and it was the “right” thing to do.

    But-

    The consumer market is a Honey Badger. They want what they want, end of story. This is a fact of life. As long as there are different nations, laws, and populations with different economic levels, there will be cheap knock-offs.

    Thoughts:

    USA consumers are deep in the “Greek” yogurt fad now. What if real Greek yogurt created by the true inventor of the food is actually much more labor and product intensive. As a result, the real deal might be $12 for a 8 oz package when delivered to your grocery. That ain’t happening, Pal. Joe Sixpack will go for Chobani if he feels flush, and the store brand knock off when he feels poor.

    Remember when the music industry was terrified of digital audio, and enforced SCMS to prevent consumers from making perfect digital copies of CDs? Turns out Honey Badger consumer does not care about audio quality, and embraced MP3 audio.

    What if an all-powerful agency determined that Lady Gaga lip syncs most of her concerts, and this is wrong. Therefore, Ms. Gaga is legally prevented from putting on any more concerts.

    Lady Gaga’s customers don’t care. They go to the show for the total sensational experience, not to hear Lady Gaga actually sing live and hit notes. The agency may win the intellectual and moral argument, but the fans and customers are not paying for that.

    Does the agency that acted against Lance Armstrong realize who their “customers” really are?

    Let’s say a music artist works really hard to create a totally new sound and mood, and it becomes a monster hit. That’s an awesome achievement. If that artist seriously expects to maintain total control and ownership of that mood and sound, the artist has tunnel vision.

    Let’s say yours truly had too much coffee and goes on ad nauseum… LOL

    • If the rectangular shape with round corner can be patented and considered as an infringement by Samsung upon Appeal, it will be a very sad day.

      Btw, does anyone know who is receiving the licensing revenues for the TV former box shape and the newly rectangular shape? Oh almost forget, who is receiving the licensing revenues for the computer monitor former box shape and the newly rectangular shape?

  8. lol if I didnt sell my RIMM shares I’d be down 50% here. Ouch! People with Blackberries are kind of embarrased these days lol

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