Time to Place Your Bets Gentlemen… AAPL

338 views

Apologies for not being able to post the past few days… been busier than fuck at work and running around like a coke-addled baby monkey after work with the kids’ hockey season in full swing…

Cut and pasted from my personal blog post from earlier today:

 

 

Unless you’ve been lazing your fat ass under a fucking Microsoft Zune and do not know today is AAPL earnings day, lets get a few things straight, shall we?

Will the big fruit company meet Wall Street’s ridiculous asshat expectations? I do not know. You don’t either and neither do the fucking pros in checkered Republican pants, so relax.

What I do know is AAPL has been the easiest stock to OWN long term. And yes the markets fucking suck right now as does the economy and trading like a degenerate OTB guy has been trying as of late.

But even if Apple did not make a fucking penny the entire quarter; meaning Tim Cook was lying about those 5 million iPhone5’s that sold in 3 days, and the 100 millionth iPad sold (16million for the Q), and added ZERO dollars to their already large as fuck coffers, and Verizon and AT&T are duping us all on the stupid as fuck amounts of iPhones they activated last Q, the share price would still trade at a PE of 17 at current prices–cheaper than GOOG or AMZN by leaps and bounds and any other stock you can find that grows their business 30% avg every quarter.

And even if you are a fucking schmoe with a big screen Samsung phone, hate Apple with animalistic violence, and think the ghost of Steve Jobs has ruined your life in every possible way because you so happen to be a 9-year-old Chinese factory worker with tiny hands building Nintendo Wii’s 24/7 for bowls of rice, you must be an absolute fucktard to think not one fucking Apple nerd will buy any of that new shit Apple just released and Apple won’t make fuckloads of cash from any of that shit.

So forget your gay little charts and cock and balls formations, they do not apply here when gambling earnings call like some OTB guy at the horseraces;  here are the numbers you need to know today:

Apple guidance: $7.65EPS;

Expected: $8.83;

Whisper: $9.81…

Anything over $9 we hop back on the cocaine train to Heaven and then some, cutting shorts’ dicks off along the way; anything under $8, we get punched in the fucking face with a sledge hammer dipped in HF acid and strange dog rabies…

My take? I’m riding into earnings call with retardo amounts of longs, 700-740 Feb bull call spreads and looking to dip buy some 600-640 Feb call spreads and 700-750 Jan14 Call spreads– that’s over 100% return if AAPL is $640 by Feb 2013 and over 200% if AAPL is above $750 by Jan 2014…my kind of odds. Hat tip to Apple guru Nick Nansen for doing all the dirty math for the above spreads

Time to place your bets Gentlemen.

Good Morning.

AAPL. Easy Money?

1,155 views

 

My ol’ man once told me long ago, ‘even if money grew on trees, you’d still have a sore back at the end of the day picking up all that fucking cash off the ground’… Moral of the story: There’s no such thing as “easy money”.

So did you OTB dice-rolling charlatan dicksuckers really think it’d be that easy to make money here? Just buy AAPL on the dip and we go to all time cocaine highs again, just like that?

Well Buck-O, if price technicals means anything at all, perhaps you need to take a look-see at the chart… looking at all the overhead resistance against us, you’ve got better odds throwing snake eyes with expired lotto tickets and dead hookers on the table today…

 

 
Time to get the fuck back to work…

Welcome Aboard the Cocaine Express… AAPL

405 views

Well, it looks like we printed that bullish reversal hammer bouncing off the 100DMA that EVERYONE was looking for and happen to call yesterday… And judging how positive the AAPL stream is on Stocktwits, it looks like we’ll be snorting eight balls off escorts before long now…

It never ceases to amaze me how EVERYONE on the stream bought in at the exact bottom of $623.55..; just like how everyone shorted AAPL at  the high of $705.07 simply by drawing a few gay trend lines on the chart… Fuck me I’ve been buying stocks since Elton John was straight, and have yet to perfectly time any trade as of yet… I’m always too early or too fucking late.. But you fuckers… you guys should be flipping million dollar homes in Calgary, Alberta with that kind of genius!

 

Now hold your fucking horses for a second, I’m not much of a Technical Analysis guy but as a degenerate riverboat gambler not wanting to get surprise sex up my Doug Kass, shouldn’t there be confirmation of this trend reversal, such as taking out yesterday’s highs of $640.49 while not breaching yesterday’s lows before going all in?? 

The thing is,  looking at the pre-market, AAPL is looking to gap UP and not wanting to sound like some vagrant bearshitter, what I am seeing in our way to heaven and more is former all-time highs as resistance; though I feel it will not pose much resistance as it wasn’t much support when we went through it.  The major resistance will be at the $652.00 area, which incidentally is also the 38.2% Fibbonacci Retracement support from the July low AND coincides with the 50DMA (once major support). 

Giving my respect to vagrant options guys who control the markets, cocaine highs aren’t gonna be that easy. Getting over that wall of OI Calls at the 650 strike is like bringing a Galaxy S3 to a gunfight… but what the fuck do I know?  I’m just rolling dice here… still justifying why I bought too early AGAIN.

 

Good Luck in all your trades.

So Now We Wait on the AAPL Bottom…

547 views

As I indicated yesterday I picked some more AAPL longs on my dip buy triggers.. perhaps a little hasty but with AAPL being down 11 of 14 days now, including this morning’s grape rape,  I do expect a bottom may be put in within the next few days; and there is a greater fear of missing out getting aboard the Cocaine Express to Nirvana than there is Apple Armafuckingeddon…

Sure enough, as my order filled at $638.00, AAPL knifed down lower kicking yours truly in the nut sack… In all honesty I would much rather scratch my eyeballs out with a broken hockey stick dipped in HF acid than sit through one of these fucking AAPL corrections while watching all the baby monkeys run amok over the Internets spouting the end of Apple again and pulling stupid numbers out of their asses… But it is what it is…

We are currently still toying with AAPL former all-time highs as support; but I don’t think this will hold as it was only hit once and broke through with ease in August. If we don’t get a bounce here and happen to go further down the elevator shaft, this is what I’m looking at: 

 

 
As seen above,  former resistance under the $620 level would act as greater support. Which also coincides with AAPL’s 100 DMA seen below.
 
 
 
As we can see in the above chart, AAPL tended to favorably V-bounce off its 100 Day MA on several occasions in this past year. In addition, this 100DMA price is also in the range of the 50% Fibbonacci Retracement levels and former resistance as seen in the first chart….
 
Hence my reasoning, we are closing in on a  bottom, especially as this would also price AAPL with a PE of 14.5 using last Q’s TTM numbers. 
 
But then again, what the fuck do I know; I’m just killing time now, experimenting with my patiene levels via lighting dynamite sticks and making excuses, trying to justify my dip buy yesterday as everyone else does on Stocktwits, awaiting on the bounce to new cocaine highs…

Timestamp This Fuckers.. BUY AAPL.

277 views

Cut and Paste from my personal blog:

Alas, it is time once again to place testicles on the chopping block whilst speed dicing onions and playing landmines hot potato…… my OVERSOLD triggers hav been hit as per my last post;  setting timestamp on ‘Fuck you’… BUY here.

 

So Is It Time to Buy AAPL??

941 views

So here we are at the 50 Day MA again… second time in a week.. where are all you fucktards now claiming you “shoulda woulda coulda” got in when it hit 2 days earlier than Friday’s close??

Yeah, typical fucking all yap and no flap bullshit. It’s the end of AAPL as we know it AGAIN; it has topped and could hit $00.00 by earnings call on Oct 25th…  with all the negativity on AAPL lately, it’s hard not to get sucked in; I know I have before.. from the bearish doji stars to head and shoulders formations to the 50day MA breakdowns to Foxconn workers striking to Samsung trials to Doug Fucking Kass beaking off… the peer pressure is sometimes overwhelming.

And can there be a more bearish chart? Just look at that nasty ass chart with that bitch of a candle that broke through the 50 Day Moving Average and the head and shoulders neckline like a flaming knife through butter in an elevator without cables flying down a shaft… and we all know the 50DayMA is THE dividing line between a technically healthy stock and one ready for the fucking shitter…and the Head and Shoulders pattern is the end-all be-all most reliable and most often seen uptrend reversal technical indicators…  Fuck me, shall I just blow my brains out now???

Now before you degenerate OTB guys start making some asshatish decisions, let’s analyze this fucking shit further…

Fundamentally, there’s still no better stock than AAPL. They have stupid as fuck amounts of cash, they make stupid as fuck amounts of cash and will continue to make stupid as fuck amounts of cash despite how much you dicksuckers need to justify that Samsung with the retardo big screen purchase you just bought… Andy Zaky describes AAPL’s future best  and slams asshat CNBC chronic AAPL bear Doug Kass while he’s at it..

Technically, I’m no technical analysis guy.. if you want to see some Grey’s Anatomy-style surgery-like precision in Technical Analysis mastery at its finest,  I highly recommend you check out @ChessNwine or @RaginCajun’s blogs..

What I do know about technical analysis, is its most basic premise is HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF in definable patterns and trends that can be seen in charts…

So, looking at AAPL’s history with the 50 DMA, we see it has broken through the 50 Day 19 times in the last 2 years.

But of all the times it has broken through the 50DMA, only 4 times since the 2009 lows has AAPL’s share price ever fell more than 7% more from its 50Day breach price…

Now if history were to repeat itself as per technical analysis and an average 8% drop were to ensue from its current 50DMA price it printed on Friday’s close, an absolute bottom max drop of $50 or to the $602.00 could be seen from its current price.  So all you asshats calling for $300 by next week can go fuck your hat…

As far as the head and shoulders bullshit is concerned, we can see from the following long term chart,  AAPL tends to punch those technical indicators of a top in the fucking face then spits on them… just as it does with stochastic divergences and other fucktarded lagging indicators…

For myself, I have never been able to take profits on AAPL shares with any success, nor have I ever made money shorting AAPL…WHY?

Answer: I can never call the top…  every time I feel I’ve got the technicals down pat or let the CNBC dicksuckers get the best of me, I end up losing my shares only to watch AAPL go on a cocaine gorilla run for the ages… In fact, there’s only one person I can think of who has done it with any success, implied or imaginary; a certain TF fellow on Stocktwits, shorted the  entire recent 140 handle tit-rip to all-time highs via drawing a few simple trendlines and trips to the beach…

Since the desolate days of 2008/ 2009 lows, AAPL has been by far the easiest stock to buy on dips and hold.  Every single pullback in share price has been the buying opportunity of a lifetime to add more shares…   And, I find I am a much better dip buyer when it comes to AAPL than I am as a breakout buyer…

Don’t get me wrong, some of these fucking pullbacks have been difficult to sit through, and they feel like clawhammers to the face and chest when they happen, and can last seemingly forever.. Fuck, the $424.88 to $361.77 pullback of 2011 (-14.85%), and the $641.25 to $519.95 pullback earlier this year (-18.92%) both took an egregious 6 weeks to complete.

But, both were subsequently followed up by runaway cocaine trains: from $361.77 to $641.25 (+77.25%) and $519.95 to $705.07 (+35.60%).

So is it time to buy now??  What I have found successful using technicals is when AAPL share price hits the bottom Bollinger Band, the CCI and RSI (9) indicates oversold levels at the same time.. so on the following chart:

Answer: No.

Not yet according to my rules.

I’d like to see all 3 indicators trigger ‘oversold’ before adding to my existing longs.  So near $611-$640 range, all 3 should trigger oversold but also those numbers show a bounce off the 61.8% Fibbonacci Retracement from the July lows and 50% from the May lows.. In addition, AAPL’s PE would be below 15 using last Q’s TTM numbers….  And anything in the 13-14 PE range, it seems to trigger all the HFT machines and Fund Guys and MM’s alarms to buy AAPL with retarded conviction..so I would expect a violent bounce if AAPL gets to these levels…

In all honesty, I have no fucking idea where the market is going nor do I know where AAPL share price is going… if I did, you think I’d be here spending stupid as fuck amounts of time looking at charts while entertaining the likes of you fuckfaces?? If it were that easy to predict the future, I’d be fixing flux capacitors or reading tea leaves and tarot cards in some KGB bathhouse…

In the meantime I’m satisfied knowing what I’ll do if AAPL decides knifes down lower….But if it heads back to heaven and then some, I’ll be just as happy selling covered calls for stupid as fuck amounts of cash while I await another dip buying opportunity…
Disclaimer: Stupid as fuck long AAPL; hedged with covered calls.

 

It’s All About Maps.. Sell AAPL Now!!!

357 views

AAPL up in pre-market on iPad Mini rumours aplenty… where have we seen this song and dance before??

Why do they bother releasing a product for media and haters to mock? Hasn’t EVERY Apple product ever released been the greatest disappointment and THE end of Apple??? iMac, OSX, Macbook Air, iPod, iPhone, iPad… Sure, AAPL is selling stupid as fuck amounts of iPhone5’s and iPads; they make stupid as fuck amounts of money from those products and they have stupid as fuck amounts of cash..

WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ITS STOCK PRICE???

It’s all about the sorry exhibition that is Maps these days. GoogleMaps is suddenly the end-all be-all bible of maps.. Seriously, when was the last time you grabbed the free pullout map from the Fodor’s and were so utterly pissed that you couldn’t see your fucking urinal on it…

“This is such fucking bullshit… This is nothing like the Rand/McNally maps I get at the gas station!! I’ll never buy a Fodor’s travel guide AGAIN!! If Steve Jobs were alive, he’d never let this happen..”

Perhaps Apple needs to be more like its peers….

Look at RIMM :

“BB10 will be released MAYBE sometime in the next 2 years and we have a pretty good chance to be the Number 3 smartphone maker in the world..” 

RIMM is now UP 25% in the last 5 days…

Or how about AMZN?

“We are in the business of losing money but maybe sometime in the next decade we may turn a profit…”

AMZN Stock is UP 40%..

And FB….

“We really do care for our shareholders..no no we really do..”

FB Stock UP 20% since the Zuckerberg pep-talk…

GOOG. For the love of metrosexual men in tight Lululemon pants sticking their fat faces in lions’ mouths, you’d think GOOG sold 5 million Nexus 7’s in 3 days the way its stock is ripping tits!!!

And I have the pleasure of holding AAPL long through another correction while I sit here selling my weekly OTM covered calls and letting theta do its thing;  I am amused watching all the fucktarded AAPL haters call for the end of Apple on Stocktwits AGAIN… why so much energy is spent justifying their asshat Samsung or HTC purchase, I still don’t understand…

Please. The only problem I see with Maps is the Tim Cook apology. I woulda fired some Tim Cook ass for being such a fucking WUSS… Steve Jobs would have never apologized for Maps; and Tim Cook shouldn’t either.. And, the Maps app would have still been released with iOS6, Steve Jobs just would’ve sold it better…and we would’ve loved it, so fuck you.

“This has been blown so out of proportion that it’s incredible..” “There is NO Antennagate..” -Steve Jobs

People are choked because they have been accustomed to being spoiled little fucking brats, having the best smartphone in the universe without realizing to remain the best, Apple NEEDED to dump GoogleMaps.. It is not like Tim Cook woke up one morning with an erect dick and decided to roll over and fuck Google…

To fully understand what happened between Apple and Google, all one has to do is look at Apple’s relationship with Adobe…  Remember when everyone was pissed over not having fucking Flash on the iPhone? It was like suddenly we depended on pop-up ads to survive! Oh the outrage! Well, we know the outcome of that…
AAPL green in pre-market trading but it’s looking to sell off during the regular trading session like it does every fucking day…  especially with that monstrosity of an OI wall at the $670 and $680 strikes getting bigger by the minute… trade accordingly.

 

Good Morning $$

It’s Not About the iPhone 5 Dickface…

401 views

Or is it “Dicked Face” ala the Fly?

Looks like we’re in full retard fuck you we’re all dead crash mode with AAPL leading the charge…  MMs are back from taking the summer off practicing degeneracy and it’s time to fuck all of you out of your hard earned coin…

So quit trying to call the bottom and when AAPL is gonna reverse back to heaven and more, because this isn’t about iPhone 5 sales or Chinese factory workers pulling a Marxian Norma Rae proletariat uprising or your stupid oversold indicators…

AAPL will sell off and continue to sell off until the SPX has stopped selling off.

Yeah, I said it.

The iPhone is NOT the end-all be-all centre of the fucking universe, much to my chagrin; this is about the overall market.  Meaning, until the big boys decide they’ve fucked all of you out of your shares and are getting bargain basement deals on their shares, any pop in AAPL may be short lived… 

Here are some key levels you may be interested in:

Key support is at $652.45; breaching that we see the 5o day MA at $645.00 and major support at the 50% Fibonacci retracement levels at $630.00 then $600.00

If we do get around under the $650 levels, I will indeed be interested in AAPL being ripe for a swing into earnings and possible product announcement. Anything under $630, I’ll be looking to buy more retardo longs; QE3 and 5 million iPhone 5’s sold in 3 days is for real… the rest is just noise.

Good Luck in all your trades.

 

UPDATE: Here’s what I see the SPX doing

Putting Things in Perspective, You Are an Asshat… AAPL

524 views

 

In 2002, I was working on the Athabasca Oil Sands Project (AOSP) at the Scotford Upgrader in Fort Saskatchewan, Alberta. It was the first Mega Project I ever worked at and I remember being in total awe of the magnitude of the jobsite and sheer number of workers that was employed there. I kid you not, I have never seen so many fucking people in one place at one time EVER, excluding a Stanley Cup Finals game or a U2 concert…

They brought in all sorts of people from engineers, pipefitters, welders, boilermakers, and electricians to  architects, elevator mechanics, teamsters, carpenters, and scaffolders from all over Canada and the United States; I was foreman of a crew of 12 and not one single person was a local; they booked up every hotel in the entire Edmonton and surrounding area, hired 130 buses to transport 65% of the workers to and from the jobsite; and what was normally a 20 minute commute to work, took over 2 fucking hours to get home after work because of all the traffic generated from that jobsite.

The money was abundant and it flowed freely; I don’t think anyone that worked there for close to a year made less than 6 figures.  Yeah yeah, relative to all you Wall Street types making cold calls to fuck old people in Ohio for $500K a month, this is chump change. But for a lowly hourly wage worker in Alberta, post 9/11, this was pretty good coin and the place to be at the time. Fuck, it was the first time I grossed $130K in less than 10 months; not including what went into my pension, full health and welfare benefits, and other job incentives, like free gas cards every now and then.

Weekly brass pools where if one lucky employee bought a raffle ticket that week and got his name drawn, he took home a big green garbage bag with a $180K cash in it.    There were weekly job incentive draws for TVs, boats, and quads.. The client, Shell, in addition to the little trinkets, such as Swiss watches, GPS units, lawn chairs, camping knick knacks they handed out to everyone every month, they also gave everyone incentives such as airmiles so they wouldn’t quit.  I received an egregious 18,000 airmiles in which a third of those afforded me a free return trip for 2 to California for less than my 10 months of employment there.

Scarcity of exotic metal welders led them to cut their own side deals; a welder from Nova Scotia on my crew, who was only 1 of 3 that had an inconel ticket, worked a week in another part of the plant on some high priority job and cleared $6500 in 4 days with paid cab ride to and from the job from his hotel. 

An electrician even made $80K selling chocolate-covered almonds fund raising for his kid’s dance club in 6 months!

But even with all the “easy money” being made and all the incentives to attract tradesmen from all over North America the client was practically throwing at us all, the turnover rate on that job was a dreadful 50%; for every 10 workers hired on, half of them either were fired or said, “fuck this shit, I’m outta here!”

I remember every 2nd day, if not every day, there was some sort of altercation or dispute, whether it be someone fighting with security guards, or with the bus drivers, or other workers, or their foreman.  There were even a few wobbles, where the entire jobsite walked off the job and rioted in the parking lot over a fucking fence the client built around the construction site so to keep workers from going offsite to the parking lot for a toke. And in another instance, a wildcat occurred over rubber boots of all things. 

The peak workforce for the $1.1 billion 3-year fast-tracked project was 10,500 workers with 23 million manhours expended. 
Now let’s put this in persepective, shall we?

Yesterday AAPL sold off and continuing to sell off this morning because of the disappointing number of iPhone5’s sold over the first weekend and also due to Chinese workers involved in riots taking place at the Foxconn factory where they make these iPhones. 

 

Apple announced they ONLY sold a dreadful 5 million iPhone5’s in 3 days; barely a touch more than the 4 million 4S’s sold in the first 3 days last October; and professional analysts were expecting more to the tune of 8 million to 12 million units sold; there were even calls for 20 million sold. ONLY 5 million?? That’s only HALF of what the majority of the analysts were expecting!!  What a fucking joke, right? Disappointing to say the least.  Apple must have problems with their supply chain. Could be the lack of demand for the new iPhone… This is BAD news. SELL AAPL.

In 2010, Foxconn reported they were producing a required 50 million iPhone 4s per annum.  That comes to about 137,000 iPhones made every day; 1.5 phones per second.  So, by the time you finish reading my little rant here, a bunch of Chinese kids, the same age as my own kids, has just pumped out 5 of these fuckers. 

 

Lunch at Foxconn

So, to sell the disappointing 5 million iPhones, these slaves that work at this factory took over 35 days to make them, taking into account, technology and on-job training has improved since 2010 and they are pumping out a rounded up figure of 140,000 iPhones a day now.  To make the expected 20 million iPhone5’s, Foxconn still would have needed 5 months to make them. 

So, you asshat analysts were expecting something that gets made in an astonishing 5 months to be sold in 3 fucking days!!  And Apple expects to begin selling iPhone5’s in 22 more countries by Friday… Are you dicksuckers just pulling numbers out of your ass now??? Have you seen the iPhone5?? It’s not like they’re making chicken McNuggets here…

Foxconn has got 78,000 workers in that iPhone factory alone. Upon thinking of all the problems we had at Shell on the AOSP job with only 10,500 workers and trying to keep them from quitting and fighting with each other, that little scuffle at the Foxconn barracks was sweet fuck all comparably. They have reopened the plant last night and are in full production again today. Foxconn also makes Kindles for Amazon, computers for Sony, Acer, and Microsoft, Motorola, Nokia, HP, Nintendo, Cisco, and Dell…

Only Apple can sell “much less” than these $500K per month analysts expect and still be “sold out“.

Does this not tell you dicksuckers selling AAPL today MORE about the overbloated expectations of asshat analysts than the problems with Apple???

Something to think about.

More perspective: Samsung took 2 months to sell 10 million Galaxy S3’s… 5 million iPhones in 3 days isn’t so bad in my books…

Hockey Season is Upon Us.. I’d Like to Punch You Fuckers in the Face!

389 views

Cut and pasted from my personal blog:

 

In awe. Shellshocked. Flabbergasted. Stunned. Agog. Appalled. Blown the fuck away.

Just came back from our eldest kid’s first hockey practice and team parents’ meeting. And running through all of the above mentioned emotions…

A former coach of our kid, Jayden,  once told us that he probably wouldn’t get a fair shake in evaluations until the PeeWee level because of his size and the fact he was a defenseman…

Never in a million years did I ever expect he would move UP from playing not bad, certainly not his best, evaluation scrimmages, to play in the group with kids that got cut from the Rep team and played tier 2 last year…

The kids at this level are bigger, faster, meaner, much more aggressive, and have no qualms about bashing their buddy’s head into the boards… There was even a kid on this team that got a concussion in his first evaluation game. Nice. Big difference from where our kid played last year…

The parents are not as loud as them vagabonds in the Novice and Atom levels but much more fucking cliquier…

While we are elated our kid placed on the highest tiered team he has ever landed in all the yers he has played on in his first year of Pee Wee, we’re not so pleased we also landed on the “money is no object when it comes to MY kid’s hockey” team…

So with the extra ice time the coach ALREADY BOOKED FOR THE FUCKING YEAR, Jayden will be on the ice 6-7 times per week MINIMUM… And the team, most of whom played together for the last 5 years (the clique), want to do 4 tournaments with a couple out of town tourneys this season; not necessarily in Phoenix AGAIN, but at least one tourney where the kids get to stay in a hotel… And the team coaches has suggested they want to hire a fitness trainer/ nutrition consultant to aid in the kids’ diet and training regimen… Operating budget goal for this season: $20,000.

Fuck me running sideways on a treadmill with a TV up my ass, I haven’t even been to Phoenix yet! We can’t find ANY teams to play hockey against in Western Canada?? You know, I think it’s wonderful alot of you fuckers can go full retard to the upside in spoiling your ONLY child, but there are some of us that have more than one child and they are in hockey as well.  In fact, my other son’s Atom team’s total budget for the season is $3600.00 with an initial cash call of $1500.00; and that’ll include some additional ice times, at least one tournament, and a year end party for the team. 

OK, the money is one thing. Quit being such a fucking piker, Heisenberg. It’s for your kid for fuck’s sake! You got the cash. Fine. At a higher level of hockey, they need the ice time to groom them to get better and faster; I get that.

But for the love of straight men on Pinterest looking at home furnishings, where the fuck do you dicksuckers FIND THE TIME???

Doesn’t anyone have a fucking real job?? EVERYONE is self-employed and makes their OWN hours?? I guess all this is also a “write-off” too; which means pretty much “free” in Alberta for some reason.  So, WHEN the fuck do they fit in homework?? And supper for that matter???

Maybe it’s just me but I could swear these kids are ages 11-12, and still not vying for spots to replace locked-out NHLers..

Fuck hiring a nutritionist, I’ll vouch for a paid psychiatrist for all the psycho-hockey parents on the team…it’s gonna be a looong winter… I guess things could be worse.. I could be bitching about my kids getting pounded by guards at the Foxconn factory for rioting…

I see AAPL is punching me in the fucking face this morning over selling ONLY 5 million iPhone 5’s in 3 fucking days in the US alone and all the bullshit at Foxconn… Still hanging on long as fuck despite the Constanza-esque selloff.

Good Morning.

Time to Place Your Bets Gentlemen… AAPL

338 views

Apologies for not being able to post the past few days… been busier than fuck at work and running around like a coke-addled baby monkey after work with the kids’ hockey season in full swing…

Cut and pasted from my personal blog post from earlier today:

 

 

Unless you’ve been lazing your fat ass under a fucking Microsoft Zune and do not know today is AAPL earnings day, lets get a few things straight, shall we?

Will the big fruit company meet Wall Street’s ridiculous asshat expectations? I do not know. You don’t either and neither do the fucking pros in checkered Republican pants, so relax.

What I do know is AAPL has been the easiest stock to OWN long term. And yes the markets fucking suck right now as does the economy and trading like a degenerate OTB guy has been trying as of late.

But even if Apple did not make a fucking penny the entire quarter; meaning Tim Cook was lying about those 5 million iPhone5’s that sold in 3 days, and the 100 millionth iPad sold (16million for the Q), and added ZERO dollars to their already large as fuck coffers, and Verizon and AT&T are duping us all on the stupid as fuck amounts of iPhones they activated last Q, the share price would still trade at a PE of 17 at current prices–cheaper than GOOG or AMZN by leaps and bounds and any other stock you can find that grows their business 30% avg every quarter.

And even if you are a fucking schmoe with a big screen Samsung phone, hate Apple with animalistic violence, and think the ghost of Steve Jobs has ruined your life in every possible way because you so happen to be a 9-year-old Chinese factory worker with tiny hands building Nintendo Wii’s 24/7 for bowls of rice, you must be an absolute fucktard to think not one fucking Apple nerd will buy any of that new shit Apple just released and Apple won’t make fuckloads of cash from any of that shit.

So forget your gay little charts and cock and balls formations, they do not apply here when gambling earnings call like some OTB guy at the horseraces;  here are the numbers you need to know today:

Apple guidance: $7.65EPS;

Expected: $8.83;

Whisper: $9.81…

Anything over $9 we hop back on the cocaine train to Heaven and then some, cutting shorts’ dicks off along the way; anything under $8, we get punched in the fucking face with a sledge hammer dipped in HF acid and strange dog rabies…

My take? I’m riding into earnings call with retardo amounts of longs, 700-740 Feb bull call spreads and looking to dip buy some 600-640 Feb call spreads and 700-750 Jan14 Call spreads– that’s over 100% return if AAPL is $640 by Feb 2013 and over 200% if AAPL is above $750 by Jan 2014…my kind of odds. Hat tip to Apple guru Nick Nansen for doing all the dirty math for the above spreads

Time to place your bets Gentlemen.

Good Morning.

AAPL. Easy Money?

1,155 views

 

My ol’ man once told me long ago, ‘even if money grew on trees, you’d still have a sore back at the end of the day picking up all that fucking cash off the ground’… Moral of the story: There’s no such thing as “easy money”.

So did you OTB dice-rolling charlatan dicksuckers really think it’d be that easy to make money here? Just buy AAPL on the dip and we go to all time cocaine highs again, just like that?

Well Buck-O, if price technicals means anything at all, perhaps you need to take a look-see at the chart… looking at all the overhead resistance against us, you’ve got better odds throwing snake eyes with expired lotto tickets and dead hookers on the table today…

 

 
Time to get the fuck back to work…

Welcome Aboard the Cocaine Express… AAPL

405 views

Well, it looks like we printed that bullish reversal hammer bouncing off the 100DMA that EVERYONE was looking for and happen to call yesterday… And judging how positive the AAPL stream is on Stocktwits, it looks like we’ll be snorting eight balls off escorts before long now…

It never ceases to amaze me how EVERYONE on the stream bought in at the exact bottom of $623.55..; just like how everyone shorted AAPL at  the high of $705.07 simply by drawing a few gay trend lines on the chart… Fuck me I’ve been buying stocks since Elton John was straight, and have yet to perfectly time any trade as of yet… I’m always too early or too fucking late.. But you fuckers… you guys should be flipping million dollar homes in Calgary, Alberta with that kind of genius!

 

Now hold your fucking horses for a second, I’m not much of a Technical Analysis guy but as a degenerate riverboat gambler not wanting to get surprise sex up my Doug Kass, shouldn’t there be confirmation of this trend reversal, such as taking out yesterday’s highs of $640.49 while not breaching yesterday’s lows before going all in?? 

The thing is,  looking at the pre-market, AAPL is looking to gap UP and not wanting to sound like some vagrant bearshitter, what I am seeing in our way to heaven and more is former all-time highs as resistance; though I feel it will not pose much resistance as it wasn’t much support when we went through it.  The major resistance will be at the $652.00 area, which incidentally is also the 38.2% Fibbonacci Retracement support from the July low AND coincides with the 50DMA (once major support). 

Giving my respect to vagrant options guys who control the markets, cocaine highs aren’t gonna be that easy. Getting over that wall of OI Calls at the 650 strike is like bringing a Galaxy S3 to a gunfight… but what the fuck do I know?  I’m just rolling dice here… still justifying why I bought too early AGAIN.

 

Good Luck in all your trades.

So Now We Wait on the AAPL Bottom…

547 views

As I indicated yesterday I picked some more AAPL longs on my dip buy triggers.. perhaps a little hasty but with AAPL being down 11 of 14 days now, including this morning’s grape rape,  I do expect a bottom may be put in within the next few days; and there is a greater fear of missing out getting aboard the Cocaine Express to Nirvana than there is Apple Armafuckingeddon…

Sure enough, as my order filled at $638.00, AAPL knifed down lower kicking yours truly in the nut sack… In all honesty I would much rather scratch my eyeballs out with a broken hockey stick dipped in HF acid than sit through one of these fucking AAPL corrections while watching all the baby monkeys run amok over the Internets spouting the end of Apple again and pulling stupid numbers out of their asses… But it is what it is…

We are currently still toying with AAPL former all-time highs as support; but I don’t think this will hold as it was only hit once and broke through with ease in August. If we don’t get a bounce here and happen to go further down the elevator shaft, this is what I’m looking at: 

 

 
As seen above,  former resistance under the $620 level would act as greater support. Which also coincides with AAPL’s 100 DMA seen below.
 
 
 
As we can see in the above chart, AAPL tended to favorably V-bounce off its 100 Day MA on several occasions in this past year. In addition, this 100DMA price is also in the range of the 50% Fibbonacci Retracement levels and former resistance as seen in the first chart….
 
Hence my reasoning, we are closing in on a  bottom, especially as this would also price AAPL with a PE of 14.5 using last Q’s TTM numbers. 
 
But then again, what the fuck do I know; I’m just killing time now, experimenting with my patiene levels via lighting dynamite sticks and making excuses, trying to justify my dip buy yesterday as everyone else does on Stocktwits, awaiting on the bounce to new cocaine highs…

Timestamp This Fuckers.. BUY AAPL.

277 views

Cut and Paste from my personal blog:

Alas, it is time once again to place testicles on the chopping block whilst speed dicing onions and playing landmines hot potato…… my OVERSOLD triggers hav been hit as per my last post;  setting timestamp on ‘Fuck you’… BUY here.

 

So Is It Time to Buy AAPL??

941 views

So here we are at the 50 Day MA again… second time in a week.. where are all you fucktards now claiming you “shoulda woulda coulda” got in when it hit 2 days earlier than Friday’s close??

Yeah, typical fucking all yap and no flap bullshit. It’s the end of AAPL as we know it AGAIN; it has topped and could hit $00.00 by earnings call on Oct 25th…  with all the negativity on AAPL lately, it’s hard not to get sucked in; I know I have before.. from the bearish doji stars to head and shoulders formations to the 50day MA breakdowns to Foxconn workers striking to Samsung trials to Doug Fucking Kass beaking off… the peer pressure is sometimes overwhelming.

And can there be a more bearish chart? Just look at that nasty ass chart with that bitch of a candle that broke through the 50 Day Moving Average and the head and shoulders neckline like a flaming knife through butter in an elevator without cables flying down a shaft… and we all know the 50DayMA is THE dividing line between a technically healthy stock and one ready for the fucking shitter…and the Head and Shoulders pattern is the end-all be-all most reliable and most often seen uptrend reversal technical indicators…  Fuck me, shall I just blow my brains out now???

Now before you degenerate OTB guys start making some asshatish decisions, let’s analyze this fucking shit further…

Fundamentally, there’s still no better stock than AAPL. They have stupid as fuck amounts of cash, they make stupid as fuck amounts of cash and will continue to make stupid as fuck amounts of cash despite how much you dicksuckers need to justify that Samsung with the retardo big screen purchase you just bought… Andy Zaky describes AAPL’s future best  and slams asshat CNBC chronic AAPL bear Doug Kass while he’s at it..

Technically, I’m no technical analysis guy.. if you want to see some Grey’s Anatomy-style surgery-like precision in Technical Analysis mastery at its finest,  I highly recommend you check out @ChessNwine or @RaginCajun’s blogs..

What I do know about technical analysis, is its most basic premise is HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF in definable patterns and trends that can be seen in charts…

So, looking at AAPL’s history with the 50 DMA, we see it has broken through the 50 Day 19 times in the last 2 years.

But of all the times it has broken through the 50DMA, only 4 times since the 2009 lows has AAPL’s share price ever fell more than 7% more from its 50Day breach price…

Now if history were to repeat itself as per technical analysis and an average 8% drop were to ensue from its current 50DMA price it printed on Friday’s close, an absolute bottom max drop of $50 or to the $602.00 could be seen from its current price.  So all you asshats calling for $300 by next week can go fuck your hat…

As far as the head and shoulders bullshit is concerned, we can see from the following long term chart,  AAPL tends to punch those technical indicators of a top in the fucking face then spits on them… just as it does with stochastic divergences and other fucktarded lagging indicators…

For myself, I have never been able to take profits on AAPL shares with any success, nor have I ever made money shorting AAPL…WHY?

Answer: I can never call the top…  every time I feel I’ve got the technicals down pat or let the CNBC dicksuckers get the best of me, I end up losing my shares only to watch AAPL go on a cocaine gorilla run for the ages… In fact, there’s only one person I can think of who has done it with any success, implied or imaginary; a certain TF fellow on Stocktwits, shorted the  entire recent 140 handle tit-rip to all-time highs via drawing a few simple trendlines and trips to the beach…

Since the desolate days of 2008/ 2009 lows, AAPL has been by far the easiest stock to buy on dips and hold.  Every single pullback in share price has been the buying opportunity of a lifetime to add more shares…   And, I find I am a much better dip buyer when it comes to AAPL than I am as a breakout buyer…

Don’t get me wrong, some of these fucking pullbacks have been difficult to sit through, and they feel like clawhammers to the face and chest when they happen, and can last seemingly forever.. Fuck, the $424.88 to $361.77 pullback of 2011 (-14.85%), and the $641.25 to $519.95 pullback earlier this year (-18.92%) both took an egregious 6 weeks to complete.

But, both were subsequently followed up by runaway cocaine trains: from $361.77 to $641.25 (+77.25%) and $519.95 to $705.07 (+35.60%).

So is it time to buy now??  What I have found successful using technicals is when AAPL share price hits the bottom Bollinger Band, the CCI and RSI (9) indicates oversold levels at the same time.. so on the following chart:

Answer: No.

Not yet according to my rules.

I’d like to see all 3 indicators trigger ‘oversold’ before adding to my existing longs.  So near $611-$640 range, all 3 should trigger oversold but also those numbers show a bounce off the 61.8% Fibbonacci Retracement from the July lows and 50% from the May lows.. In addition, AAPL’s PE would be below 15 using last Q’s TTM numbers….  And anything in the 13-14 PE range, it seems to trigger all the HFT machines and Fund Guys and MM’s alarms to buy AAPL with retarded conviction..so I would expect a violent bounce if AAPL gets to these levels…

In all honesty, I have no fucking idea where the market is going nor do I know where AAPL share price is going… if I did, you think I’d be here spending stupid as fuck amounts of time looking at charts while entertaining the likes of you fuckfaces?? If it were that easy to predict the future, I’d be fixing flux capacitors or reading tea leaves and tarot cards in some KGB bathhouse…

In the meantime I’m satisfied knowing what I’ll do if AAPL decides knifes down lower….But if it heads back to heaven and then some, I’ll be just as happy selling covered calls for stupid as fuck amounts of cash while I await another dip buying opportunity…
Disclaimer: Stupid as fuck long AAPL; hedged with covered calls.

 

It’s All About Maps.. Sell AAPL Now!!!

357 views

AAPL up in pre-market on iPad Mini rumours aplenty… where have we seen this song and dance before??

Why do they bother releasing a product for media and haters to mock? Hasn’t EVERY Apple product ever released been the greatest disappointment and THE end of Apple??? iMac, OSX, Macbook Air, iPod, iPhone, iPad… Sure, AAPL is selling stupid as fuck amounts of iPhone5’s and iPads; they make stupid as fuck amounts of money from those products and they have stupid as fuck amounts of cash..

WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ITS STOCK PRICE???

It’s all about the sorry exhibition that is Maps these days. GoogleMaps is suddenly the end-all be-all bible of maps.. Seriously, when was the last time you grabbed the free pullout map from the Fodor’s and were so utterly pissed that you couldn’t see your fucking urinal on it…

“This is such fucking bullshit… This is nothing like the Rand/McNally maps I get at the gas station!! I’ll never buy a Fodor’s travel guide AGAIN!! If Steve Jobs were alive, he’d never let this happen..”

Perhaps Apple needs to be more like its peers….

Look at RIMM :

“BB10 will be released MAYBE sometime in the next 2 years and we have a pretty good chance to be the Number 3 smartphone maker in the world..” 

RIMM is now UP 25% in the last 5 days…

Or how about AMZN?

“We are in the business of losing money but maybe sometime in the next decade we may turn a profit…”

AMZN Stock is UP 40%..

And FB….

“We really do care for our shareholders..no no we really do..”

FB Stock UP 20% since the Zuckerberg pep-talk…

GOOG. For the love of metrosexual men in tight Lululemon pants sticking their fat faces in lions’ mouths, you’d think GOOG sold 5 million Nexus 7’s in 3 days the way its stock is ripping tits!!!

And I have the pleasure of holding AAPL long through another correction while I sit here selling my weekly OTM covered calls and letting theta do its thing;  I am amused watching all the fucktarded AAPL haters call for the end of Apple on Stocktwits AGAIN… why so much energy is spent justifying their asshat Samsung or HTC purchase, I still don’t understand…

Please. The only problem I see with Maps is the Tim Cook apology. I woulda fired some Tim Cook ass for being such a fucking WUSS… Steve Jobs would have never apologized for Maps; and Tim Cook shouldn’t either.. And, the Maps app would have still been released with iOS6, Steve Jobs just would’ve sold it better…and we would’ve loved it, so fuck you.

“This has been blown so out of proportion that it’s incredible..” “There is NO Antennagate..” -Steve Jobs

People are choked because they have been accustomed to being spoiled little fucking brats, having the best smartphone in the universe without realizing to remain the best, Apple NEEDED to dump GoogleMaps.. It is not like Tim Cook woke up one morning with an erect dick and decided to roll over and fuck Google…

To fully understand what happened between Apple and Google, all one has to do is look at Apple’s relationship with Adobe…  Remember when everyone was pissed over not having fucking Flash on the iPhone? It was like suddenly we depended on pop-up ads to survive! Oh the outrage! Well, we know the outcome of that…
AAPL green in pre-market trading but it’s looking to sell off during the regular trading session like it does every fucking day…  especially with that monstrosity of an OI wall at the $670 and $680 strikes getting bigger by the minute… trade accordingly.

 

Good Morning $$

It’s Not About the iPhone 5 Dickface…

401 views

Or is it “Dicked Face” ala the Fly?

Looks like we’re in full retard fuck you we’re all dead crash mode with AAPL leading the charge…  MMs are back from taking the summer off practicing degeneracy and it’s time to fuck all of you out of your hard earned coin…

So quit trying to call the bottom and when AAPL is gonna reverse back to heaven and more, because this isn’t about iPhone 5 sales or Chinese factory workers pulling a Marxian Norma Rae proletariat uprising or your stupid oversold indicators…

AAPL will sell off and continue to sell off until the SPX has stopped selling off.

Yeah, I said it.

The iPhone is NOT the end-all be-all centre of the fucking universe, much to my chagrin; this is about the overall market.  Meaning, until the big boys decide they’ve fucked all of you out of your shares and are getting bargain basement deals on their shares, any pop in AAPL may be short lived… 

Here are some key levels you may be interested in:

Key support is at $652.45; breaching that we see the 5o day MA at $645.00 and major support at the 50% Fibonacci retracement levels at $630.00 then $600.00

If we do get around under the $650 levels, I will indeed be interested in AAPL being ripe for a swing into earnings and possible product announcement. Anything under $630, I’ll be looking to buy more retardo longs; QE3 and 5 million iPhone 5’s sold in 3 days is for real… the rest is just noise.

Good Luck in all your trades.

 

UPDATE: Here’s what I see the SPX doing

Putting Things in Perspective, You Are an Asshat… AAPL

524 views

 

In 2002, I was working on the Athabasca Oil Sands Project (AOSP) at the Scotford Upgrader in Fort Saskatchewan, Alberta. It was the first Mega Project I ever worked at and I remember being in total awe of the magnitude of the jobsite and sheer number of workers that was employed there. I kid you not, I have never seen so many fucking people in one place at one time EVER, excluding a Stanley Cup Finals game or a U2 concert…

They brought in all sorts of people from engineers, pipefitters, welders, boilermakers, and electricians to  architects, elevator mechanics, teamsters, carpenters, and scaffolders from all over Canada and the United States; I was foreman of a crew of 12 and not one single person was a local; they booked up every hotel in the entire Edmonton and surrounding area, hired 130 buses to transport 65% of the workers to and from the jobsite; and what was normally a 20 minute commute to work, took over 2 fucking hours to get home after work because of all the traffic generated from that jobsite.

The money was abundant and it flowed freely; I don’t think anyone that worked there for close to a year made less than 6 figures.  Yeah yeah, relative to all you Wall Street types making cold calls to fuck old people in Ohio for $500K a month, this is chump change. But for a lowly hourly wage worker in Alberta, post 9/11, this was pretty good coin and the place to be at the time. Fuck, it was the first time I grossed $130K in less than 10 months; not including what went into my pension, full health and welfare benefits, and other job incentives, like free gas cards every now and then.

Weekly brass pools where if one lucky employee bought a raffle ticket that week and got his name drawn, he took home a big green garbage bag with a $180K cash in it.    There were weekly job incentive draws for TVs, boats, and quads.. The client, Shell, in addition to the little trinkets, such as Swiss watches, GPS units, lawn chairs, camping knick knacks they handed out to everyone every month, they also gave everyone incentives such as airmiles so they wouldn’t quit.  I received an egregious 18,000 airmiles in which a third of those afforded me a free return trip for 2 to California for less than my 10 months of employment there.

Scarcity of exotic metal welders led them to cut their own side deals; a welder from Nova Scotia on my crew, who was only 1 of 3 that had an inconel ticket, worked a week in another part of the plant on some high priority job and cleared $6500 in 4 days with paid cab ride to and from the job from his hotel. 

An electrician even made $80K selling chocolate-covered almonds fund raising for his kid’s dance club in 6 months!

But even with all the “easy money” being made and all the incentives to attract tradesmen from all over North America the client was practically throwing at us all, the turnover rate on that job was a dreadful 50%; for every 10 workers hired on, half of them either were fired or said, “fuck this shit, I’m outta here!”

I remember every 2nd day, if not every day, there was some sort of altercation or dispute, whether it be someone fighting with security guards, or with the bus drivers, or other workers, or their foreman.  There were even a few wobbles, where the entire jobsite walked off the job and rioted in the parking lot over a fucking fence the client built around the construction site so to keep workers from going offsite to the parking lot for a toke. And in another instance, a wildcat occurred over rubber boots of all things. 

The peak workforce for the $1.1 billion 3-year fast-tracked project was 10,500 workers with 23 million manhours expended. 
Now let’s put this in persepective, shall we?

Yesterday AAPL sold off and continuing to sell off this morning because of the disappointing number of iPhone5’s sold over the first weekend and also due to Chinese workers involved in riots taking place at the Foxconn factory where they make these iPhones. 

 

Apple announced they ONLY sold a dreadful 5 million iPhone5’s in 3 days; barely a touch more than the 4 million 4S’s sold in the first 3 days last October; and professional analysts were expecting more to the tune of 8 million to 12 million units sold; there were even calls for 20 million sold. ONLY 5 million?? That’s only HALF of what the majority of the analysts were expecting!!  What a fucking joke, right? Disappointing to say the least.  Apple must have problems with their supply chain. Could be the lack of demand for the new iPhone… This is BAD news. SELL AAPL.

In 2010, Foxconn reported they were producing a required 50 million iPhone 4s per annum.  That comes to about 137,000 iPhones made every day; 1.5 phones per second.  So, by the time you finish reading my little rant here, a bunch of Chinese kids, the same age as my own kids, has just pumped out 5 of these fuckers. 

 

Lunch at Foxconn

So, to sell the disappointing 5 million iPhones, these slaves that work at this factory took over 35 days to make them, taking into account, technology and on-job training has improved since 2010 and they are pumping out a rounded up figure of 140,000 iPhones a day now.  To make the expected 20 million iPhone5’s, Foxconn still would have needed 5 months to make them. 

So, you asshat analysts were expecting something that gets made in an astonishing 5 months to be sold in 3 fucking days!!  And Apple expects to begin selling iPhone5’s in 22 more countries by Friday… Are you dicksuckers just pulling numbers out of your ass now??? Have you seen the iPhone5?? It’s not like they’re making chicken McNuggets here…

Foxconn has got 78,000 workers in that iPhone factory alone. Upon thinking of all the problems we had at Shell on the AOSP job with only 10,500 workers and trying to keep them from quitting and fighting with each other, that little scuffle at the Foxconn barracks was sweet fuck all comparably. They have reopened the plant last night and are in full production again today. Foxconn also makes Kindles for Amazon, computers for Sony, Acer, and Microsoft, Motorola, Nokia, HP, Nintendo, Cisco, and Dell…

Only Apple can sell “much less” than these $500K per month analysts expect and still be “sold out“.

Does this not tell you dicksuckers selling AAPL today MORE about the overbloated expectations of asshat analysts than the problems with Apple???

Something to think about.

More perspective: Samsung took 2 months to sell 10 million Galaxy S3’s… 5 million iPhones in 3 days isn’t so bad in my books…

Hockey Season is Upon Us.. I’d Like to Punch You Fuckers in the Face!

389 views

Cut and pasted from my personal blog:

 

In awe. Shellshocked. Flabbergasted. Stunned. Agog. Appalled. Blown the fuck away.

Just came back from our eldest kid’s first hockey practice and team parents’ meeting. And running through all of the above mentioned emotions…

A former coach of our kid, Jayden,  once told us that he probably wouldn’t get a fair shake in evaluations until the PeeWee level because of his size and the fact he was a defenseman…

Never in a million years did I ever expect he would move UP from playing not bad, certainly not his best, evaluation scrimmages, to play in the group with kids that got cut from the Rep team and played tier 2 last year…

The kids at this level are bigger, faster, meaner, much more aggressive, and have no qualms about bashing their buddy’s head into the boards… There was even a kid on this team that got a concussion in his first evaluation game. Nice. Big difference from where our kid played last year…

The parents are not as loud as them vagabonds in the Novice and Atom levels but much more fucking cliquier…

While we are elated our kid placed on the highest tiered team he has ever landed in all the yers he has played on in his first year of Pee Wee, we’re not so pleased we also landed on the “money is no object when it comes to MY kid’s hockey” team…

So with the extra ice time the coach ALREADY BOOKED FOR THE FUCKING YEAR, Jayden will be on the ice 6-7 times per week MINIMUM… And the team, most of whom played together for the last 5 years (the clique), want to do 4 tournaments with a couple out of town tourneys this season; not necessarily in Phoenix AGAIN, but at least one tourney where the kids get to stay in a hotel… And the team coaches has suggested they want to hire a fitness trainer/ nutrition consultant to aid in the kids’ diet and training regimen… Operating budget goal for this season: $20,000.

Fuck me running sideways on a treadmill with a TV up my ass, I haven’t even been to Phoenix yet! We can’t find ANY teams to play hockey against in Western Canada?? You know, I think it’s wonderful alot of you fuckers can go full retard to the upside in spoiling your ONLY child, but there are some of us that have more than one child and they are in hockey as well.  In fact, my other son’s Atom team’s total budget for the season is $3600.00 with an initial cash call of $1500.00; and that’ll include some additional ice times, at least one tournament, and a year end party for the team. 

OK, the money is one thing. Quit being such a fucking piker, Heisenberg. It’s for your kid for fuck’s sake! You got the cash. Fine. At a higher level of hockey, they need the ice time to groom them to get better and faster; I get that.

But for the love of straight men on Pinterest looking at home furnishings, where the fuck do you dicksuckers FIND THE TIME???

Doesn’t anyone have a fucking real job?? EVERYONE is self-employed and makes their OWN hours?? I guess all this is also a “write-off” too; which means pretty much “free” in Alberta for some reason.  So, WHEN the fuck do they fit in homework?? And supper for that matter???

Maybe it’s just me but I could swear these kids are ages 11-12, and still not vying for spots to replace locked-out NHLers..

Fuck hiring a nutritionist, I’ll vouch for a paid psychiatrist for all the psycho-hockey parents on the team…it’s gonna be a looong winter… I guess things could be worse.. I could be bitching about my kids getting pounded by guards at the Foxconn factory for rioting…

I see AAPL is punching me in the fucking face this morning over selling ONLY 5 million iPhone 5’s in 3 fucking days in the US alone and all the bullshit at Foxconn… Still hanging on long as fuck despite the Constanza-esque selloff.

Good Morning.

Previous Posts by Heisenberg