May I Interest You In Some TVIX?

Dear God, almighty… protect us from thyne, Satan, and his instruments of sacrilege.

May he tempt us no more with promising of VXX, in our capacities of gluttony and excess.

And keepeth away also its younger, half-retarded brother, TVIX; second son of Sodom and bastard in thine sight.

That we may not fall into irrecoverable losses, and lead us into bankruptcy.

Amen!