I was disappointed to read Le Fly effectively tramp stamp Becky Quick yesterday with the AHOTW. Not because she was undeserving, but rather, her misstep paled in comparison to the egregious GAFFE committed by one Timothy Cook, whose personal mission is to be the fruitiest CEO in America.

I’m stunned at the lack of outcry over Cook’s comments apologizing for Apple’s botched foray into mapping the world. Mr. Cook, you sir, are a bitch and my Asshat of the Week.

Now, I understand that this apology is straight out of the Steve Jobs’ playbook. Apologizing for product blunders is chic–it’s how intrepid CEOs run their companies. HORSESHIT. Your pathetic app is embarrassing enough, spare us from your platitudes. When Google has 7,000 engineers devoted to their Maps app, the only thing you should be apologizing for is your hubris. Straight out of the Jobs playbook, indeed.

Behold, a roller coaster bridge in Bristol:

The shadows look on point though.

Despite releasing an abortion of technology, what’s particularly troublesome here–and thus worthy of an asshat award–is Cook offering suggestions for alternatives to Apple’s Maps. Who the fuck does this? Have you ever heard a CEO openly advocate the use of competitive products, while his company works to improve theirs? I’d like to give Cook the benefit of the doubt and chalk this up to colossal stupidity, but it’s likelier that this is just good ole’ Apple-flavored hubris.

“The more our customers use our Maps the better it will get,” he wrote.

Explain, Mr. Cook, how this will happen if customers should seek alternatives. When Apple announced that they’d be ditching Google Maps in favor of their own technology, the decision was unanimously applauded as a win-win solution that could both drive incremental growth while undercutting Google’s monopoly on “Local,” the risks of jettisoning a popular technology be damned. Instead, once sure-fire Apple customers now find themselves looking for alternatives–to the iPhone. Jobs well done, Mr. Cook.

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