Breaking: More Bad News for the Fat Fucks

Breaking news from the Progressive State of Alabama, birthplace of hot football cheerleaders and highly alcohol laden pink shooters of unknown provenance!  Apparently, the State is sick of paying for unhealthy lifestyles and has now decided to impose a $25 “Fat Fuck” Fee on fat bastids who are on their state employee health plan.   This is in addition to a plan already in place that penalizes cancer stick addicts for chimneying on state payroll time.

Contrary to what many of you might surmise, I love this idea.    You see, I’m a libertarian at heart, and I hate any kind of Big Brother shit — like Mayor Bloomberg telling private businesses it’s his decision whether they can allow cancer stick addicts to contribute to their fast approaching demise on said bidnessman’s property or not, for example.  Or telling New York restaurants what ingredients they can use to make their tasty products.  That shit I hate.   Since when did Bloomberg become the Fascist Surgeon General of New York, abrogating private property rights ovah heah in such a way?   Fuck him, and the questionably asexual horse he rode in on.

But this is different, you see, because Fat Fucks in the employ of the State are NOT PAYING FOR THEIR OWN HEALTH INSURANCE.   No, the good people of Alabamy, who dearly need their disposable income to fund shotgun weddings,  football tailgate cocktails and jumbo shrimp de-veiners and such, are on the hook 100% for these fat bastids.    That’s some benny!

I believe, therefore, this “additional payment,”  is a good start.   Don’t get me wrong.  I guess I don’t mind seeing free health insurance — an egregiously magnificent benefit, as anyone who runs a business is well aware — as an “enticement” to get competent personnel hired for state bureaucracy (okay, stop laughing, we are talking relativity ovah heah).  

But I don’t want to see that free privilege abused by greasy fat bastids who squeeze throught the door, thighs squeaking in protest, after “Second breakfast” at 9:25 am every morning.    Nor do I think it outrageous that the coffin nail hoovers are also forced to “pay a little something” for the insurance that will be stepping in for their upcoming lung sand-blast surgery.  It’s only fair, after all.

One addition to the egregiousity…  You will note from the article that there are Fat Fucks who are already “suffering” the plight of the additional payor because they also smoke like the Bethlehem Coke Mills in addition to their “glandular deficiency.”   And these bastards are whining like hell about “Big Brother” tellng them what to do.

Can you believe the nerve of these Vesuvian bastards?   Do they even see the team of patient white coats, standing nervously behind them, double enforced stretcher and “shocker paddles” grasped firmly in hand, whilst they “merry about” the water cooler,  cooing at the hot copy girls,  MrRib “Special Sauce” in one hand, Kool 100 Ultra in the other?  All at taxpayer expense?

I tell you what, Junior Sample, why don’t we pay you “market” to get your own fat fuck insurance out there in the private sector?  See how your “lifestyle choices” pan out in that environment.  Maybe you could get a credit card that will take care of the premiums while leaving a monthly stipend for two cartons of Kent Menthols.  Or some cawfee.

Hey, Alambammy — I’ve got an even better idea than an “additional fee”… howabout you fire those nicotine addled lipid bombs before you need to bring the special “piano case” coffin makers in to cart them out of their inadequately expansive cubicles?  Just a suggestion.

That’s my rant for tonight, off to check my BP.

 

 

 

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