On the Important Matter of the New York Football Giants

It’s the beginning of the glorious football season — the greatest game played in America by a huge margin…

And I don’t want to hear any whining, baseball freaks. Your sport is for fat people who spit for a higher percentage of the game than they engage in any aerobic activity. Sure, baseball pitchers certainly exert themselves for a couple of innings a game, but in recompense they get the next four or five days off. Give me a break. Soon your game will be eclipsed by lacrosse, a version of football played with sticks.

Where was I? Oh yeah, the beginning of the glorious football season. What is the essence of great football? I proffer it is a great running game and a great defense. For all my life, the New York Football Giants have only been good when they’ve combined these two factors, both in my teen and college years when they won their first two Superbowls, and more recently in 2008, when they won their third.

With 6’4″ 265 lb RB  Brandon Jacobs as our Killdozer , and the midget cannonball Ahmad Bradshaw as our speedy second running back (not to mention the utility man Danny Ware to fill in for both), I think we have the excellent running game covered for yet another year.   A very workman-like run-oriented offensive line aslo does great work in the trenches for this aspect of our game.  

 I think this strong running attack will also make up for our weaknesses in the passing game with the recent loss of leg shooting idiot WR, Plaxico Burress.  Who knows?  This may be the year that WR Sinorice “Licorice” Moss finally breaks out and fulfills the promise of his Miami University WR days.   Same goes with Mario Manningham (of Michigan fame) and rookie first round draft pick WR,  Hakeem Nicks.

The real question this year will be the usually solid Giants defense.   First, our great defensive coordinator, Steve Spagnulo, whom the Giants paid a head coaching salary ($3 million) last year just so he’d stay, is finally gone, to the St. Louis Rams as their new head coach.  Our new guy is the former linebacker’s coach under Spags, Bill Sheridan.  He knows Spags system, so let’s hope we do not miss a step here in the coaching department.  Still, it’s hard to lose such a beloved charismatic coach, and the Giants are known for letting great defensive coordinators go on to glory — from Tom Landry to Bill Bellichek to John Fox, and of course, combined dee coordinator and head coach, Bill Parcells.  I hated to lose Spags, no matter the consequences.   I’m confident he’ll be successful.

I think our defensive line–with stars such as Osi Uminora, Justin Tuck, and  Mathias Kiwanuka on the ends, and Barry Cofield, Fred Robbins, and Chris Canty playing tackle– will be solid.  Same goes with our secondary led by CB’s Corey Webster and Aaron Ross, and hit machine strong safety Kenny Phillips.

No, if we’re going to have problems, it will be in our soft linebacking corps.  I am loathe to say it, but the the team that spawned the all time greatest linebacker, Lawrence Taylor, not to mention Hall of Famer’s Harry Carson and Sam Huff, is really hurting for quality linebackers these days.   Here’s hoping second round draft pick Clint Sintim can step in soon, because I’m not feeling good about aging jorneyman Danny Clark and gun-shot abettor Antonio Pierce with perennial over-achiever and bench warmer Chase Blackburn completing our starting trio.   That screams lack of depth.

In any case, I love my Giants, flaws and all.   I expect their stock to rise in Jacksonian fashion, for they are, in tradition and legacy, the NFL’s gold standard.  Let the game’s begin.

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Update:  Winning the first game against the hated Washington Deadskins thus far, 10-0.   Goooooo Giants!

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Update:  Osssssiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!

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