Critical Perception: Hitching a Ride From a Time Machine- Marty McFly-Style..

Trading AAPL ..every time.. all the time...
Joined Oct 26, 2011
121 Blog Posts

Critical Perception: Hitching a Ride From a Time Machine- Marty McFly-Style..

Joined Oct 26, 2011
121 Blog Posts

Let Me Clarify a Few Things…

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296 views

This morning I am merely a voyeur watching markets with animalistic perversion and a material witness to all you dicksuckers talking shit over the Internets.  I await delivery of cocaine or Armafuckingeddon upon Jackson’s Hole, hedged with retardo longs in AAPL, a half position of V and VHC longs and a few fucktarded Canadian energy shares paying me a pikerish monthly dividend.

So to kill some time, I’d like to clarify a few things this morning regarding my last post.  Upon celebrating our 14th wedding anniversary yesterday with the usual pomp and circumcision, my wife pointed out to me my ‘math’ was a tad “skewed” and we wouldn’t want any of you fuckers reading my posts to think my imagination has run amok into the regions of the far-fetched or anything. So I post the following as an addendum:

$7 for a new outfit from the Old Navy for the

1 kid that fell into the West Edmonton Mall water fountain.

32 times, my youngest has asked for a snack in the last hour and

30 minutes since he finished his last meal and left half of it on his plate

1 pound of bacon is the recommended dosage required for full healing effect.

18 different Costcos we visited during our last

2 week road trip vacation

83 times I threatened to stop the van and they were gonna walk home if they don’t shut the fuck up back there between Spokane and the California border….

5 more days until the rugrats go back to school!!

Now there were a few questions and comments I received yesterday as most readers are probably wondering, like how the fuck did they flip an entire shopping cart? Ambulances and child services?

Not that I have to justisfy to any of you fuckfaces about our “creative parenting” methods, but I just wanted to clarify a few things before we get another surprise visit from child services. 

Firstly I’d like to say, fuck you.  I’ll have you know we’re not like you assholes talking shit online and posting drivel on Facebook, looking for pity ‘Likes’ from all your peers; shit such as, how much you’ll be “missing the company of your darling kids when they go back to school”. You see, we happen to know Mr. XBOX is their real parents and bribing your kid with a shopping spree at Justice or A&F is the usual form of discipline in your household.  How dare you judge us?

 

Creativity run amok…

I, like any parent, want my kids to run wild and their creativity to flow freely for as long as they can,  protecting them from the harsh reality that they will eventually face when they grow older… Who doesn’t?

I’d love to tell you my kids are the sweetest of angels with icing and unicorns on top, but they’re not. My kids, I swear on your two eyes, they have been spawned from the very loins of Beelzebub, and are whacked out of their fucking minds, head smash against the wall psychopathic lunatical coke-addled baby monkeys jacked on a consistent diet of sugar and Kraft dinner with hot dog weiners. I’m seriously tempted to have built-in marijuana-laced ritalin IV machines installed in each of their bedrooms, but I am told by some ‘experts’ this is common and actually healthy among families that have 3 boys. I for one would like to see their studies first hand;  when you are told by the kid’s playschool teacher that he is learning great new words such as “confiscate”, it has got me wondering…

I have to admit my ideas on parenting and the kind of parents, we want to be is a far cry from what I used to think before we had kids. In the beginning, we wanted to do everything perfectly for our child; now with 3 boys, things will tend to get a wee bit hectic in our home– it’s all about getting done what keeps us out of jail… you know,  shit like feeding them, paying for heating bills, not hurting them, an so on…

Don’t get me wrong or anything, I happen to like my kids, so along with those above mentioned basic necessities, we tend to throw in a few extra perks such as love, interest, and doing shit with them once in a while…

As far as flipping the shopping cart upside-down, believe me when I tell you this, my son at that age didn’t ‘think’ he was Spiderman, he ‘knew’ he was Spiderman.  And bad things tend to happen when your kid is indeed Spiderman bored out of his fucking mind, sitting in the child seat of a shopping cart while you just so happen to turn away for a split second to put items from your cart onto the conveyor belt… no harm done. The entire cart flipped over top of him and he ended up in the basket part, penned up like a stuck pig…

Good Morning and trade ’em well…

Fourteen Years and Counting….

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275 views

Cut and pasted from my personal blog:  http://criticalperception.blogspot.ca/2012/08/fourteen-years-and-counting.html

“For better or for worse.” Those words sounds pretty romantic don’t they? Almost magical, on our wedding day.  Little did I know just how real they would become over the course of our marriage.

Doing some of the math:

20 years together

14 years of marriage

1 mortgage.

18 records of employment that year alone and

3 years of tax receipts to qualify for said mortgage.

7 years to pay off that mortgage.

3 miscreants committed to violence every time they are within

6 feet of each other.

1 broken leg, broken in

3 different places. Not mine. Changed my life in EVERY way.

1 emergency trip in an ambulance to discover

1 peanut allergy, the hard way.

1 black eye leading to

2 policemen at the door and

1 child services visit and

0 apologies for the bogus accusation.  Fuckers.

1 shopping cart flipping upside-down at the WalMart, with the

2-year old in it.

1 kid lost at the flea market for a

10 scary seconds.

1 more kid lost at a downtown parade for the

10 scariest minutes of our lives.

5875 km or

3619.5 miles driving like a bat out of hell to NorCal & back.

$790.00 CDN in gas to do it. Not bad at all.

5 peeps still in the van,

0 body bags used on this trip.

And here we are. Older than at the beginning, a little less hair and a few extra pounds. Wiser and much more tainted from battle scars and open flesh wounds. A lot more sleep deprived, a bit less spontaneous, but truly stronger than ever.

What’s the secret, we’re often asked…

Well, I’m gonna tell you.

It’s not IF, but WHEN you fuck up, go eat.  In my house, there are only 2 reasons in which either one of us will get angry.  Either I’m acting like a fucking jackass, or someone is a little hungry and I’m acting like a fucking jackass.  Go eat. Preferably bacon or something with bacon in it or just bacon.  Works every time. And don’t ever forget the coffee.  She loves coffee.  I never touch the stuff.

 

On August 29, 1998,  I was blessed to have had the opportunity to sucker another human being into thinking I was non-psychotic enough to marry me and all my multiple online personalities.  Fuck, I even bet half of all my shit she wouldn’t hate me in the next 25 years.  But then again, I also bet $20K Facebook shares would also trade up after the IPO, so I’m assuming waking up next to the horse’s head one day isn’t out of the question yet.

Over the years, we have been through immense highs and soul-crushing lows and a whole lot of bacon. And through it all, we are still here.  Still standing.  Still laughing.  Still eating bacon.
And still in love.

Happy Anniversary, baby.

V Temptations…

512 views

Visa is tempting me add to my long position for a trade this morning…

The credit cards companies have been acting like stale corpses rotting in the backyard in the past month and should be deserving of life soon…  especially with it coming into that time of year where bored housewives will be sending the hellions back the fuck to school and go full retard to upside spending money on retail.

One thing extra we got to remember.. with AAPL and GOOG and AMZN are on runaway train dick chop the shorts mode with new product cycles coming up shortly, do tell me what the fuck do you think all the plebs are buying their shit with?? Cash???  HAHAHAHAHA!!!!  I like to think of V and MA as my kind of AAPL “derivative plays”…

What perked my interest today was how violently it bounced off its 50Day MA with above average volume and its 61.8% Fib retracement  as it did in July when I opened a new position… And as you can see V responds well with its 50Day MA….

 

Also I’m getting signals of it also breaching its lower Bollinger Band here today… another BUY signal for me….

 

Lots of Smack Talk Going On… AAPL

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254 views

It seems the iBC Blogger Network has been taken over by degenerate vandals last night. No confirmation on this as of yet.

Across the internets, pundits are talking shit again… a couple of down days with no QE in near sight, has everyone running for the fucking hills!

Today marks the day of Tim Cook’s 1st year anniversary as being promoted to CEO of AAPL.  Despite he adding $260 Billion more to its value,  AAPL is done for yet again on news of AAPL losing a patent case in Korea for a penalty of $35,300 (net $13,300), Chinese not thinking the iPhone is cool anymore, and your daily dose of  “Apple only downhill from here because Steve Jobs is dead” news.

AAPL pre-market trading is red and the call on Stocktwits is anything under $660.00, share price goes to $640.00  then $600.00 with a real market valuation of $00.00…  suddenly “Mark Zuckerberg being the next Steve Jobs” rings true… Please.

If you insist on sitting at the OTB guy table at the Fitz, here’s what you may want to know:

 And Open Interest:

 

I expect the trade range to be between a $650 to $670 crack spread this morning as the weekies expire, perhaps pinning $655, more likely the $660 strike….After 3:30PM, all bets are off and back to heaven and more…

 

Samsung: “Copy Apple? Who Moi? Never!!”

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Nah!!!  Of course not. Samsung would never think of copying Apple; they had this shit in the works for years! Their smartphones look like iPhones by pure coincidence as does their brand spankin’ new flagship store in Australia! 

 

Before and After the iPhone circa 2007

 

Oh besides, Apple copied the Sony Stores first… and “everybody copies, even Apple”… Samsung are THE “Innovators”.  Just look at their tablets! No copying here!

 

OK. Apologies. It appears my ‘sarcasm’ button on my keyboard is broken again.  Fuck, I hate when THAT happens.  Sure hope them dudes on the jury are blind too… check out the new Samsung store yourself and see…

“At the End of the Day…” Just Shut the Fuck Up…

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An amusing thread I saw this morning on a friend’s wall on Facebook…

Ah yes, the infamous cliche “At the end of the day…”, an irritating inanity a lot of fucktards use to indicate closure or a synopsis of sorts for a stated point because of the simple fact they are indeed asshats, who are incapable of finishing a complete sentence without some tired cliche incorporated in it. 

Seeing this thread this morning made me chuckle reminsciencing of a poll mentioned all over the news a few years ago. This was not the most annoying crutch in this poll, but in the top fucking 4…  along with “whatever” ranking in first place and “you know..” and “it is what it is..” placing above “at the end of the day” in pique precedence.

I would add “my bad”‘ “just sayin”’ “it’s all good..” “it isn’t rocket science..” to this list as well…

I found this quite amusing as degenerate stock traders, likewise, have their own vernacular including such utterances as “bulls”, “bears”, “seeking Alpha”, “dead money”, “death cross”‘ “bearshitter”, “trader-bots”, “full retard”, “the Bearded Clam”, “Chinese burritos”‘, “clown rape”, “boot-stomp”, “gorilla run”, “cocaine and hookers” and “goat fuckers”.  The Fly, a sage in the financial blogging world, nailed it when he said it best:

“In the real world, people who manage money have disgusting, filthy, mouths, cussing at old ladies in wheeled chairs and spitting at the homeless. But somehow, someway, when these charlatans made it online, their salesmen hats went on and they became very prim and proper, coming across as bland, rigid, checkered pants republicans (no Savage).”

And, this included when they also make appearances talking shit on TV and radio, Cramer-style,  as well… I recommend you refer to the iBC Dictionary if you have any questions in any of the financial lingo described here.

 

Anyways, it was amusing to me because until only recently, my wife actually thought I was making all that shit up until she overheard some of these words used on some documentary on the 2008 crash I was watching on the teevee.  You must excuse my wife’s naivity; when I was running my kid’s hockey team’s webpage a couple of year’s ago, she also thought I was creating my own ‘hockeyspeak’  if you will, such as “spinorama”, “saucer pass”, “cherry-picker”, “change on the fly”, and  “startin’ the lawnmower.” ; until the commentators on Hockey Night in Canada were using those adages one evening..

“WHAT??? Those are real words???” She asked.  “That how they talk, Honey.”

Back to my point about all those fucking annoying crutches, traders have them too.. though I haven’t ranked them as did the Marist Institute for Public Opinion did in their poll. These include:

“painting the tape”

“gentlemen prefer bonds”

“it’s different this time..”

“we’re different here..”

“nice healthy pullback..”

“fade the gap..”

“housing has bottomed..”

“holding up well…”

“inflection point”

“LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!”

“money can’t buy happiness”

“money isn’t everything. you know..”

“the value of money..”

“It’s only a paper loss, it’ll come back..”

“a fool and his money..”

“poised to clear next resistance..”

“needs to rest after a nice run..”

“greed is good”

“chasing returns”

“timestamp”

“US-style housing crash”

“dovish” or “hawkish”

“all boats rise…”

“tightening the target…”

 

Top 3 on my list by far for most annoying:

 “_______  IS THE NEW AAPL!”,  “Mark Zuckerberg, the next Steve Jobs..”,  and “_____, the iPod, ( iPhone, iPad)- killer…”

 Any ones I’ve left out? I would like to know….

UPDATE: AAPL. Still In It.. Fuck Stops….

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By sheer dumb luck and the grace of the Gorilla Gods, I didn’t put in my STOP order on AAPL this morning and now it’s green, squeezing the heads of shorts in table vises on its way to the promised land. 

Just as a general rule I keep, I never like to throw in stops or any orders, buy or sell, in the first half hour of trading and always try to give those degenerate options guys who manipulate the fucking markets and especially AAPL share price their due respect first before making any rash dumbfuck decisions. 

Upon looking at the AAPL max pain/ open interest for the weeklies this morning, I noticed the wall of PUTs at $635-$650; and figured the Wall Street magicians would want AAPL nicely tucked near the $655 strike and AAPL share price would not be under $650 for very long this morning… just as share price had problems holding the $670’s yesterday due to the wall of CALLs there, it did indeed come back up and in a hurry…

Fuck it. For the record and all you psychopathic “timestamp” bots out there, I’m taking all stops off and riding this out into the sunset while eating potato chips; I’m in agreeance with Senor Tropicana’s opinion of how long this tape is; nor do I have the kahonas to short AAPL from past experience; I’m flush with cash and will be looking for more opportunities lower to get even more stupid as fuck long…  Hopefully some of you here on iBC playing this short covered this morning. Good Luck in all your trades…

Sometimes You Gotta Go Back Old School…

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AAPL is officially in full retard to the upside, runaway train parabolic mode, lopping dicks off anyone that stands in its path.  And looking at pre-market trading, it looks to gap UP yet again and carry on doing so. 

My initial targets were $645.00 at the upper Bollinger Band and all-time intraday highs as resistance; hoping I could take profits and snag up more shares counting it would bounce off and retrace a tad before ramping up into the Sept.12 iPhone5 announcement. 

I have to admit this parabolic move, 3 fucking weeks earlier than expected caught me entirely off guard and I spent all of yesterday stewing over it like a little bitch after letting a few of my trader shares go on Friday. 

From experience with owning AAPL and trading it over the last decade, even if every single technical indicator is flashing overbought levels; and every instinct in your body tells you you should never chase a stock that goes straight the fuck up, AAPL has also been known rip the fuck higher despite you and your asshat reasons why it should correct.  No one can tell when this retardo parabolic move will end;  but everyone knows, when you’re dealing with AAPL, it can certainly run longer than anyone thinks.

IMHO, Le Fly nailed it with the new iBC look. Sometimes you just gotta go back old school.  Forget all your dumbass algos, homosexual trend lines, fibonacci equations, retardo signals and every other bullshit reason why you should get the fuck out of a winning trade; and just sit back and enjoy the ride…  Old School.  Good Morning.

Visit StockCharts.com to see more great charts.

 

Here We Fucking Go Again…

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Caught some “Til Debt Does Us Part” last night with that Gail Vaz-Oxlade, Canada’s rendition of Suze Orman, in between reruns of Pawn Stars and a new ep of Breaking Bad…
 
For the record, I do not partcularly like watching these personal finance shows as there’s something about solving your meth addiction and habit of buying too many BMWs and hookers on your Mastercard simply by living a frugal lifestyle off the nickels and dimes in glass jars and donating a couple of spare organs for interest income, I can’t come to terms with…
 

But, for some reason, I found that I couldn’t look away– I don’t know if it’s because I get off on watching these people with stupid-as-fuck amounts of debt willing to suck on Gail Vaz-Oxlade’s dick for a measly $5000 and some coupons for cooking classes; Or perhaps it’s being able to peek into other people’s personal lives, like some perverted child porn guy, that makes this show so appealing, almost dirty; it’s akin to driving by an accident on the freeway and gawking at all the carnage like some kind of degenerate rubbernecker …

 

And why the fuck are these personal finance gurus so fucking giddy all the time?? For once I’d like to see Gail say, “Yup, you’re fucked, sorry ’bout yer luck… Beat it!”.
Anyways, I’m watching $AAPL go on an all out gorilla run in pre-market trading… Well, isn’t that just fucking lovely? Looking like another gap up this morning….and that just pisses me off to no end…

Fuck me running sideways with a gay piano in a room full of homophobic Pinterest users, I took some profits Friday… Thing is, I should know better too, having owned AAPL shared since the ‘iPod is just a fad’ days, AAPL has always shat in the face of gay trend lines, multiple gaps, shooting stars, low volume runs, and humongous engulfing reversal candles. Happens every fucking time. And if I didn’t take profits,  sure as shit, it would be gapping down this morning and I’d be kicking myself for not doing so…

Don’t get me wrong,  a 13% gain in less than a month is nothing to scoff at and my cocaine trees are in full bloom as I am still retardo long on AAPL shares but there’s something about leaving money, any money, on the table that irks me, much more than losing money…

Yeah yeah… I do know the stupid adages,

“You never go broke taking profits”

“Don’t worry about the IFs and BUTs, we are only concerned with NOW and NEXT”

Fuck you.  You see, when I’m wrong about a trade, like I did on $FB for instance, I can deal with that… I take my losses, lick my wounds and move on.. But it’s when I’m right about a trade and fuck it all up with something as stupid as “timing” …  now that drives me absolutely insane… And, being it involves AAPL shares, amplifies the hurt even more so… 

My biggest fear now is,  not Europe falling into the ocean or China slowing or the US going into another recession, but AAPL going on one of its fucking parabolic gorilla runs… I guess what it comes down to is how Josh Brown so eloquently put it, “I hate this rally because.. I’m not long enough, sssshhh”

 

Parabolic Bitch

So wanna make money in stocks? BUY what I buy, but when getting in or out, wait a couple of days, you’ll buy it cheaper and sell it higher…

Good Morning $$

Critical Perception: Hitching a Ride From a Time Machine- Marty McFly-Style..

Trading AAPL ..every time.. all the time...
Joined Oct 26, 2011
121 Blog Posts

Critical Perception: Hitching a Ride From a Time Machine- Marty McFly-Style..

Joined Oct 26, 2011
121 Blog Posts

Let Me Clarify a Few Things…

6
296 views

This morning I am merely a voyeur watching markets with animalistic perversion and a material witness to all you dicksuckers talking shit over the Internets.  I await delivery of cocaine or Armafuckingeddon upon Jackson’s Hole, hedged with retardo longs in AAPL, a half position of V and VHC longs and a few fucktarded Canadian energy shares paying me a pikerish monthly dividend.

So to kill some time, I’d like to clarify a few things this morning regarding my last post.  Upon celebrating our 14th wedding anniversary yesterday with the usual pomp and circumcision, my wife pointed out to me my ‘math’ was a tad “skewed” and we wouldn’t want any of you fuckers reading my posts to think my imagination has run amok into the regions of the far-fetched or anything. So I post the following as an addendum:

$7 for a new outfit from the Old Navy for the

1 kid that fell into the West Edmonton Mall water fountain.

32 times, my youngest has asked for a snack in the last hour and

30 minutes since he finished his last meal and left half of it on his plate

1 pound of bacon is the recommended dosage required for full healing effect.

18 different Costcos we visited during our last

2 week road trip vacation

83 times I threatened to stop the van and they were gonna walk home if they don’t shut the fuck up back there between Spokane and the California border….

5 more days until the rugrats go back to school!!

Now there were a few questions and comments I received yesterday as most readers are probably wondering, like how the fuck did they flip an entire shopping cart? Ambulances and child services?

Not that I have to justisfy to any of you fuckfaces about our “creative parenting” methods, but I just wanted to clarify a few things before we get another surprise visit from child services. 

Firstly I’d like to say, fuck you.  I’ll have you know we’re not like you assholes talking shit online and posting drivel on Facebook, looking for pity ‘Likes’ from all your peers; shit such as, how much you’ll be “missing the company of your darling kids when they go back to school”. You see, we happen to know Mr. XBOX is their real parents and bribing your kid with a shopping spree at Justice or A&F is the usual form of discipline in your household.  How dare you judge us?

 

Creativity run amok…

I, like any parent, want my kids to run wild and their creativity to flow freely for as long as they can,  protecting them from the harsh reality that they will eventually face when they grow older… Who doesn’t?

I’d love to tell you my kids are the sweetest of angels with icing and unicorns on top, but they’re not. My kids, I swear on your two eyes, they have been spawned from the very loins of Beelzebub, and are whacked out of their fucking minds, head smash against the wall psychopathic lunatical coke-addled baby monkeys jacked on a consistent diet of sugar and Kraft dinner with hot dog weiners. I’m seriously tempted to have built-in marijuana-laced ritalin IV machines installed in each of their bedrooms, but I am told by some ‘experts’ this is common and actually healthy among families that have 3 boys. I for one would like to see their studies first hand;  when you are told by the kid’s playschool teacher that he is learning great new words such as “confiscate”, it has got me wondering…

I have to admit my ideas on parenting and the kind of parents, we want to be is a far cry from what I used to think before we had kids. In the beginning, we wanted to do everything perfectly for our child; now with 3 boys, things will tend to get a wee bit hectic in our home– it’s all about getting done what keeps us out of jail… you know,  shit like feeding them, paying for heating bills, not hurting them, an so on…

Don’t get me wrong or anything, I happen to like my kids, so along with those above mentioned basic necessities, we tend to throw in a few extra perks such as love, interest, and doing shit with them once in a while…

As far as flipping the shopping cart upside-down, believe me when I tell you this, my son at that age didn’t ‘think’ he was Spiderman, he ‘knew’ he was Spiderman.  And bad things tend to happen when your kid is indeed Spiderman bored out of his fucking mind, sitting in the child seat of a shopping cart while you just so happen to turn away for a split second to put items from your cart onto the conveyor belt… no harm done. The entire cart flipped over top of him and he ended up in the basket part, penned up like a stuck pig…

Good Morning and trade ’em well…

Fourteen Years and Counting….

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275 views

Cut and pasted from my personal blog:  http://criticalperception.blogspot.ca/2012/08/fourteen-years-and-counting.html

“For better or for worse.” Those words sounds pretty romantic don’t they? Almost magical, on our wedding day.  Little did I know just how real they would become over the course of our marriage.

Doing some of the math:

20 years together

14 years of marriage

1 mortgage.

18 records of employment that year alone and

3 years of tax receipts to qualify for said mortgage.

7 years to pay off that mortgage.

3 miscreants committed to violence every time they are within

6 feet of each other.

1 broken leg, broken in

3 different places. Not mine. Changed my life in EVERY way.

1 emergency trip in an ambulance to discover

1 peanut allergy, the hard way.

1 black eye leading to

2 policemen at the door and

1 child services visit and

0 apologies for the bogus accusation.  Fuckers.

1 shopping cart flipping upside-down at the WalMart, with the

2-year old in it.

1 kid lost at the flea market for a

10 scary seconds.

1 more kid lost at a downtown parade for the

10 scariest minutes of our lives.

5875 km or

3619.5 miles driving like a bat out of hell to NorCal & back.

$790.00 CDN in gas to do it. Not bad at all.

5 peeps still in the van,

0 body bags used on this trip.

And here we are. Older than at the beginning, a little less hair and a few extra pounds. Wiser and much more tainted from battle scars and open flesh wounds. A lot more sleep deprived, a bit less spontaneous, but truly stronger than ever.

What’s the secret, we’re often asked…

Well, I’m gonna tell you.

It’s not IF, but WHEN you fuck up, go eat.  In my house, there are only 2 reasons in which either one of us will get angry.  Either I’m acting like a fucking jackass, or someone is a little hungry and I’m acting like a fucking jackass.  Go eat. Preferably bacon or something with bacon in it or just bacon.  Works every time. And don’t ever forget the coffee.  She loves coffee.  I never touch the stuff.

 

On August 29, 1998,  I was blessed to have had the opportunity to sucker another human being into thinking I was non-psychotic enough to marry me and all my multiple online personalities.  Fuck, I even bet half of all my shit she wouldn’t hate me in the next 25 years.  But then again, I also bet $20K Facebook shares would also trade up after the IPO, so I’m assuming waking up next to the horse’s head one day isn’t out of the question yet.

Over the years, we have been through immense highs and soul-crushing lows and a whole lot of bacon. And through it all, we are still here.  Still standing.  Still laughing.  Still eating bacon.
And still in love.

Happy Anniversary, baby.

V Temptations…

512 views

Visa is tempting me add to my long position for a trade this morning…

The credit cards companies have been acting like stale corpses rotting in the backyard in the past month and should be deserving of life soon…  especially with it coming into that time of year where bored housewives will be sending the hellions back the fuck to school and go full retard to upside spending money on retail.

One thing extra we got to remember.. with AAPL and GOOG and AMZN are on runaway train dick chop the shorts mode with new product cycles coming up shortly, do tell me what the fuck do you think all the plebs are buying their shit with?? Cash???  HAHAHAHAHA!!!!  I like to think of V and MA as my kind of AAPL “derivative plays”…

What perked my interest today was how violently it bounced off its 50Day MA with above average volume and its 61.8% Fib retracement  as it did in July when I opened a new position… And as you can see V responds well with its 50Day MA….

 

Also I’m getting signals of it also breaching its lower Bollinger Band here today… another BUY signal for me….

 

Lots of Smack Talk Going On… AAPL

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254 views

It seems the iBC Blogger Network has been taken over by degenerate vandals last night. No confirmation on this as of yet.

Across the internets, pundits are talking shit again… a couple of down days with no QE in near sight, has everyone running for the fucking hills!

Today marks the day of Tim Cook’s 1st year anniversary as being promoted to CEO of AAPL.  Despite he adding $260 Billion more to its value,  AAPL is done for yet again on news of AAPL losing a patent case in Korea for a penalty of $35,300 (net $13,300), Chinese not thinking the iPhone is cool anymore, and your daily dose of  “Apple only downhill from here because Steve Jobs is dead” news.

AAPL pre-market trading is red and the call on Stocktwits is anything under $660.00, share price goes to $640.00  then $600.00 with a real market valuation of $00.00…  suddenly “Mark Zuckerberg being the next Steve Jobs” rings true… Please.

If you insist on sitting at the OTB guy table at the Fitz, here’s what you may want to know:

 And Open Interest:

 

I expect the trade range to be between a $650 to $670 crack spread this morning as the weekies expire, perhaps pinning $655, more likely the $660 strike….After 3:30PM, all bets are off and back to heaven and more…

 

Samsung: “Copy Apple? Who Moi? Never!!”

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Nah!!!  Of course not. Samsung would never think of copying Apple; they had this shit in the works for years! Their smartphones look like iPhones by pure coincidence as does their brand spankin’ new flagship store in Australia! 

 

Before and After the iPhone circa 2007

 

Oh besides, Apple copied the Sony Stores first… and “everybody copies, even Apple”… Samsung are THE “Innovators”.  Just look at their tablets! No copying here!

 

OK. Apologies. It appears my ‘sarcasm’ button on my keyboard is broken again.  Fuck, I hate when THAT happens.  Sure hope them dudes on the jury are blind too… check out the new Samsung store yourself and see…

“At the End of the Day…” Just Shut the Fuck Up…

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An amusing thread I saw this morning on a friend’s wall on Facebook…

Ah yes, the infamous cliche “At the end of the day…”, an irritating inanity a lot of fucktards use to indicate closure or a synopsis of sorts for a stated point because of the simple fact they are indeed asshats, who are incapable of finishing a complete sentence without some tired cliche incorporated in it. 

Seeing this thread this morning made me chuckle reminsciencing of a poll mentioned all over the news a few years ago. This was not the most annoying crutch in this poll, but in the top fucking 4…  along with “whatever” ranking in first place and “you know..” and “it is what it is..” placing above “at the end of the day” in pique precedence.

I would add “my bad”‘ “just sayin”’ “it’s all good..” “it isn’t rocket science..” to this list as well…

I found this quite amusing as degenerate stock traders, likewise, have their own vernacular including such utterances as “bulls”, “bears”, “seeking Alpha”, “dead money”, “death cross”‘ “bearshitter”, “trader-bots”, “full retard”, “the Bearded Clam”, “Chinese burritos”‘, “clown rape”, “boot-stomp”, “gorilla run”, “cocaine and hookers” and “goat fuckers”.  The Fly, a sage in the financial blogging world, nailed it when he said it best:

“In the real world, people who manage money have disgusting, filthy, mouths, cussing at old ladies in wheeled chairs and spitting at the homeless. But somehow, someway, when these charlatans made it online, their salesmen hats went on and they became very prim and proper, coming across as bland, rigid, checkered pants republicans (no Savage).”

And, this included when they also make appearances talking shit on TV and radio, Cramer-style,  as well… I recommend you refer to the iBC Dictionary if you have any questions in any of the financial lingo described here.

 

Anyways, it was amusing to me because until only recently, my wife actually thought I was making all that shit up until she overheard some of these words used on some documentary on the 2008 crash I was watching on the teevee.  You must excuse my wife’s naivity; when I was running my kid’s hockey team’s webpage a couple of year’s ago, she also thought I was creating my own ‘hockeyspeak’  if you will, such as “spinorama”, “saucer pass”, “cherry-picker”, “change on the fly”, and  “startin’ the lawnmower.” ; until the commentators on Hockey Night in Canada were using those adages one evening..

“WHAT??? Those are real words???” She asked.  “That how they talk, Honey.”

Back to my point about all those fucking annoying crutches, traders have them too.. though I haven’t ranked them as did the Marist Institute for Public Opinion did in their poll. These include:

“painting the tape”

“gentlemen prefer bonds”

“it’s different this time..”

“we’re different here..”

“nice healthy pullback..”

“fade the gap..”

“housing has bottomed..”

“holding up well…”

“inflection point”

“LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!”

“money can’t buy happiness”

“money isn’t everything. you know..”

“the value of money..”

“It’s only a paper loss, it’ll come back..”

“a fool and his money..”

“poised to clear next resistance..”

“needs to rest after a nice run..”

“greed is good”

“chasing returns”

“timestamp”

“US-style housing crash”

“dovish” or “hawkish”

“all boats rise…”

“tightening the target…”

 

Top 3 on my list by far for most annoying:

 “_______  IS THE NEW AAPL!”,  “Mark Zuckerberg, the next Steve Jobs..”,  and “_____, the iPod, ( iPhone, iPad)- killer…”

 Any ones I’ve left out? I would like to know….

UPDATE: AAPL. Still In It.. Fuck Stops….

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By sheer dumb luck and the grace of the Gorilla Gods, I didn’t put in my STOP order on AAPL this morning and now it’s green, squeezing the heads of shorts in table vises on its way to the promised land. 

Just as a general rule I keep, I never like to throw in stops or any orders, buy or sell, in the first half hour of trading and always try to give those degenerate options guys who manipulate the fucking markets and especially AAPL share price their due respect first before making any rash dumbfuck decisions. 

Upon looking at the AAPL max pain/ open interest for the weeklies this morning, I noticed the wall of PUTs at $635-$650; and figured the Wall Street magicians would want AAPL nicely tucked near the $655 strike and AAPL share price would not be under $650 for very long this morning… just as share price had problems holding the $670’s yesterday due to the wall of CALLs there, it did indeed come back up and in a hurry…

Fuck it. For the record and all you psychopathic “timestamp” bots out there, I’m taking all stops off and riding this out into the sunset while eating potato chips; I’m in agreeance with Senor Tropicana’s opinion of how long this tape is; nor do I have the kahonas to short AAPL from past experience; I’m flush with cash and will be looking for more opportunities lower to get even more stupid as fuck long…  Hopefully some of you here on iBC playing this short covered this morning. Good Luck in all your trades…

Sometimes You Gotta Go Back Old School…

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AAPL is officially in full retard to the upside, runaway train parabolic mode, lopping dicks off anyone that stands in its path.  And looking at pre-market trading, it looks to gap UP yet again and carry on doing so. 

My initial targets were $645.00 at the upper Bollinger Band and all-time intraday highs as resistance; hoping I could take profits and snag up more shares counting it would bounce off and retrace a tad before ramping up into the Sept.12 iPhone5 announcement. 

I have to admit this parabolic move, 3 fucking weeks earlier than expected caught me entirely off guard and I spent all of yesterday stewing over it like a little bitch after letting a few of my trader shares go on Friday. 

From experience with owning AAPL and trading it over the last decade, even if every single technical indicator is flashing overbought levels; and every instinct in your body tells you you should never chase a stock that goes straight the fuck up, AAPL has also been known rip the fuck higher despite you and your asshat reasons why it should correct.  No one can tell when this retardo parabolic move will end;  but everyone knows, when you’re dealing with AAPL, it can certainly run longer than anyone thinks.

IMHO, Le Fly nailed it with the new iBC look. Sometimes you just gotta go back old school.  Forget all your dumbass algos, homosexual trend lines, fibonacci equations, retardo signals and every other bullshit reason why you should get the fuck out of a winning trade; and just sit back and enjoy the ride…  Old School.  Good Morning.

Visit StockCharts.com to see more great charts.

 

Here We Fucking Go Again…

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Caught some “Til Debt Does Us Part” last night with that Gail Vaz-Oxlade, Canada’s rendition of Suze Orman, in between reruns of Pawn Stars and a new ep of Breaking Bad…
 
For the record, I do not partcularly like watching these personal finance shows as there’s something about solving your meth addiction and habit of buying too many BMWs and hookers on your Mastercard simply by living a frugal lifestyle off the nickels and dimes in glass jars and donating a couple of spare organs for interest income, I can’t come to terms with…
 

But, for some reason, I found that I couldn’t look away– I don’t know if it’s because I get off on watching these people with stupid-as-fuck amounts of debt willing to suck on Gail Vaz-Oxlade’s dick for a measly $5000 and some coupons for cooking classes; Or perhaps it’s being able to peek into other people’s personal lives, like some perverted child porn guy, that makes this show so appealing, almost dirty; it’s akin to driving by an accident on the freeway and gawking at all the carnage like some kind of degenerate rubbernecker …

 

And why the fuck are these personal finance gurus so fucking giddy all the time?? For once I’d like to see Gail say, “Yup, you’re fucked, sorry ’bout yer luck… Beat it!”.
Anyways, I’m watching $AAPL go on an all out gorilla run in pre-market trading… Well, isn’t that just fucking lovely? Looking like another gap up this morning….and that just pisses me off to no end…

Fuck me running sideways with a gay piano in a room full of homophobic Pinterest users, I took some profits Friday… Thing is, I should know better too, having owned AAPL shared since the ‘iPod is just a fad’ days, AAPL has always shat in the face of gay trend lines, multiple gaps, shooting stars, low volume runs, and humongous engulfing reversal candles. Happens every fucking time. And if I didn’t take profits,  sure as shit, it would be gapping down this morning and I’d be kicking myself for not doing so…

Don’t get me wrong,  a 13% gain in less than a month is nothing to scoff at and my cocaine trees are in full bloom as I am still retardo long on AAPL shares but there’s something about leaving money, any money, on the table that irks me, much more than losing money…

Yeah yeah… I do know the stupid adages,

“You never go broke taking profits”

“Don’t worry about the IFs and BUTs, we are only concerned with NOW and NEXT”

Fuck you.  You see, when I’m wrong about a trade, like I did on $FB for instance, I can deal with that… I take my losses, lick my wounds and move on.. But it’s when I’m right about a trade and fuck it all up with something as stupid as “timing” …  now that drives me absolutely insane… And, being it involves AAPL shares, amplifies the hurt even more so… 

My biggest fear now is,  not Europe falling into the ocean or China slowing or the US going into another recession, but AAPL going on one of its fucking parabolic gorilla runs… I guess what it comes down to is how Josh Brown so eloquently put it, “I hate this rally because.. I’m not long enough, sssshhh”

 

Parabolic Bitch

So wanna make money in stocks? BUY what I buy, but when getting in or out, wait a couple of days, you’ll buy it cheaper and sell it higher…

Good Morning $$

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