Don’t Bother Upgrading to the iPhone 5….

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My 5 is on the truck for delivery since 4:32AM this morning…

 

And from all the complaints from everyone I know who has never owned an iPhone, online and off, I guess I made a HUGE mistake. It’s not worth the upgrade from what I’m told.

I, for one, am quite disappointed I will be missing out on seeing how many fanboys that have been waiting in line for an iPhone 5 since Monday suddenly get up out of line and run to a fucking Samsung store to buy their Galaxy S3 because they so happen see a couple of people smash their ridiculously large as fuck Samsung screens together, then take pictures with it after…ooooh.

 

BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS IN REAL LIFE!!!

That’s how easily fanboys, who’ve been sucking Apple dick since the Mac toaster days, change their fucking minds… “Oh no, some old hipster Boomers with BMWs and big houses and money just cut in line, time to buy a Samsung… we’re not cool anymore..”.

When was the last time you saw two people within 10ft of each other with Samsung phones?? Nevermind the SAME phone and tapping them together??? ALL THE TIME.  Did Apple not get the memo “the next big thing is already here”..???. I mean tapping phones together hasn’t been this big since Crackberry vagabonds were doing it 2 years ago…

And these “Maps” complaints? Totally valid. Fuck those Apple bastards! Do they not know that is why we buy smartphones in the first place?? For the GPS!! And I expect pinpoint accuracy for every fucking urinal in every city around the world from ALL my GPS’s…And, even if Google had no intention to upgrade their maps on the iPhone EVER, I expect all this and more from Apple… how dare they change the Maps App?

Yes, I do admit I’ll miss the novelty of Streetview too. You never know when you’re gonna feel the need to see what your house looked like 2 years ago or what your neighbour’s dog taking a shit looks like  when the Google van drove by…

 

Why I will miss Streetview…

And those of you who feel the new iPhone just “isn’t revolutionary” enough to upgrade, I understand. Your StarTac served you well for years, there’s absolutely no reason your iPhone 3G won’t do just fine as well; it IS “the same phone, same content, and same operating system…”

Don’t you KNOW it’s a fucking conspiracy– those computer geeks are taking over the world and they are trying to control us… How dare they make us CHANGE OUR CABLES when we switched from CRT monitors to flatscreen LCDs!!!   Totally understandable why everyone is soo pissed about the new adapter.  Well, fuck them Apple dicksuckers– our pentium machines running Windows 3.1 runs just fine and dandy for what we need to do with them even after we dropped them in water; we’re smarter than them and never will we be assimilated into the Matrix…

 

You see, we are quite content with that big ass tube TV in a wooden box in our basements and our 1982 K-Cars… You see, when we went from Black & White TVs to colour and from horse & buggy to gasoline engines, now THAT WAS REVOLUTIONARY!!! Everything else since then has only been small tweaks…and not revolutionary at all. Fuck you Apple and your upgrade cycle.  “Innovation at Apple died with Steve Jobs”… WE WANT SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT… perhaps a flip phone with a dinky keyboard??  Or a stylus!! Like the Note!! Apple has always been known to get rid of shit everybody wants.. look what they did to the Newton!!

 

The Next “Big Thing”

Damn. My sarcasm button on my keyboard is stuck on FUCK YOU again… Is it obvious?

Monthly OPEX today. It will be interesting to see MM’s try to keep this under the 700 roll when there are no sellers…

Good Morning. Good Luck in all your trades.

8 Responses to “Don’t Bother Upgrading to the iPhone 5….”

  1. The Startac treated us all very well and you know it!

  2. A Real Apple User

    Ah, another tool who feels the need to perform electronic jihad in defense of the richest company in the world. Poor underdogs. I’ve used Apple products for about ten years, have a few macs, MBPs, iPhones, etc. And yet I don’t feel the need to get offended when a competetor puts out an ad touting their product, or when people lodge legitimate complaints about missteps.

    But then there are people like you who just can’t seem to tolerate the idea that anyone on this earth would ever do anything but bow down three times a day in the direction of Cupertino and show the proper respect. Forget yuppies with BMWs; it’s ass clowns like you and your fellow twelve-year-olds that might be enough for me to switch, just so I don’t wind up on an FBI watchlist as a religious extremist, which is about where you people are headed.

    • Shut the fuck up and fall in line fuckface. Shall I sell all my shares of AAPL too because you happen to be a little bitch who can’t read or spell?

      Do the switch. I dare you.

      • A Real Apple User

        This is how you invest? I’ve owned $AAPL since the 360s, and I daytrade it with mixed results up and down. What do you do, besides pollute the StockTwits board with links to this puerile spankyboy drivel? Is there any real investing advice going on here or is it just a place for people like you to come have your daily circle jerk while gazing longingly at a picture of Steve Jobs, who you no doubt probably believe invented the computer or some such crap.

        Leave the investing to the adults and have fun making sweet love to your iPhone 5 tonight in lieu of actual human interaction, like us adults will be doing on our Friday night. Maybe Siri can vibrate the phone to you hard enough you can pretend it was a hand job from her.

        • That’s right. That’s EXACTLY how I invest. Long AAPL since $16. Don’t like it, beat it. It’s not like your witty comments are added value here.

          Why gaze at a picture of Steve Jobs when I can get off having fucktards like you lick my nut sack…

  3. Hah it’s funny because it’s true….I keel you all

  4. My parents had that wooden box with a TV in it until they sold their house…in 2007. The best part was when it would just turn off and on at random…for over a decade. Sadly, I just accepted this as “what the TV does” instead of saying: “how about you step out of 1986 and buy a new TV?” The original remote was used for a long while even after the “TV” button was broken off and lost, thus relegating a pen to perform the duty of that button.

    I have instructed my wife to kill me should I start to exhibit any of these traits.

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