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Recent press releases from AT& T and Apple says they are selling stupid as fuck amounts of the new iPhone 5 in the past few days.. Luckily I got my pre-order within the first hour.. So why am I getting the 5? Especially since I upgraded to the 4S barely 11 months ago?
Sure.. the new iPhone will have 4G LTE speeds, a bigger screen, more memory, etc. etc. You don’t need me to give you all the specs…
I’m don’t really see myself as a fanboy, more of a fan-old fucker nowadays and I do still enjoy my nerdy tech gadgets.. but that’s not it.
And I quit trying to impress my peers eons ago… plus they’re all still into their granite countertops and stainless steel appliances around here anyways.. so that’s not it either…
I was parked outside the supermarket the other day while the wife ran inside to pick up a few things. Not 10 seconds after I park, some dirty old street person walks up to my car and taps on my window to ask me if I had any spare change so he can catch a bus. I roll down the window partially to tell him, “Sorry pal, got no change, I only use plastic… Now how ’bout you get the fuck away from my window..”
He then walks away from my vehicle to meet up with another street person working the other side of the parking lot; the other guy must’ve been a colleague by the way he was pushing the shopping carts full of bottles and garbage bags… I kept a watchful eye on them for a bit as I’ve heard in the news some of these vagabonds may vandalize your car or get violent sometimes when they don’t get any spare change…
Much to my surprise, both reach into their overcoats and pull out cel phones and start texting like a couple o f crazy teenagers… Not only did they have cel phones, they were both using iPhone 4’s; I can tell not only by the recognizable Otterbox they had protecting them but because that’s the kind of psychopath that I am…
Being an AAPL shareholder, I was quite elated that they had iPhones but like fuck if some dirty vagrant clad in a burlap sack begging for fucking bus fare is gonna have a nicer phone than me!!!
Nevermind trying to keep up with the fucking Joneses, it’s all about staying ahead of the dirty vagabonds these days…
Dsiclaimer: Got the black/slate 64GB… should be here Friday..lineups are for suckers. And vagabonds.
In all honesty, I could use a 10% pullback in AAPL here… that way I can go from stupid as fuck long to retarded as fuck longer…
Good Luck in all your trades.
6 Responses to “Why Did I Buy the iPhone 5?”
zenhunter
Perhaps it may be a good idea to store some spare changes in your car so that one of the vagabonds won’t be holding your new iPhone 5 in the future. Just thinking precaution here… [grin]
Heisenberg
I used up all the spare change buying sandwiches for all the market watching I’ve been doing as of late…!!
Perhaps going to a better neighbourhood is a better precaution… deep Chinatown is not good for anyone..
elizamae
There are 2 things that can be used as a litmus test for intelligence.
1) Riding a motorcycle without a helmet = MORON
2) “camping out” in line outside of an Apple store to buy a fucking phone = MORON
This list will be updated as new developments take place.
zenhunter
I concur with your 1st point.
As to the 2nd point, don’t underestimate the power of love and what people will do when they love something or someone dearly.
These people LOVE their iPhone. It is the ONE thing in their life that gives them JOY.
Therefore, no, they are not moron but simply people in love. You do remember the stupid thing you do to get the attention of your loved one before, don’t you?
Cheers!
elizamae
Ha, I certainly didn’t camp out in front of her house.
zenhunter
Ha… but if she implied that you should (for whatever good reason), you would!