The 12 Gym Guys You Really Don’t Want to Be

This is pretty good, from the May 2013 issue of GQ magazine. 

The Zumba Giggler
How to recognize him: He’s white. Like really, really white.
On his iTunes: All remixes of “Funky Vodka,” Pitbull, and Enrique.
No relationship to: Guy who can really isolate his hips well in Zumba, just as one would in the original sexy Latin dances on which it is based!
But possibly related to: The barbell sniffer, the yoga snorer, the shake-weight farter.

The Yoga Cad
How to recognize him: He’ll be holding court with five women after Bikram, explaining his daily meditation practice.
Accessories: All-natural-fiber yoga mat, ponytail elastic, holy-water facial spritz, Tom’s of Maine deodorant.
His go-to move: Lunging Proud Cock (called Warrior 2 in yoga parlance).
His other go-to move: “Can I help you square your hips? You’re a little off-center.”

The Elliptical Scholar
How to recognize him: He’s the guy taking a leisurely stroll on an exercise machine with a towel around his neck and a leather-bound copy of Paradise Lost propped before him.
How else to recognize him: Converse
All Stars from 1983, lack of sweat.
Bonus fitness accessory: Vintage tartan scarf from Oxbridge.
Motto: Working out is a long read spoiled.

The Steam-Room Stretcher
How to recognize him: Are you in the steam room? Is there a guy in there who’s making weird groaning sounds? That’s him.
Philosophy: No one can see me behind this shroud of steam, so it’s a great place to do weird private stuff!
Related to: The sauna zit-picker, the shower gargler, and that guy who has definitely been doing something strange in the handicapped stall for the past half hour.

The Mat Potato
How to recognize him: Forty-five minutes after you first saw him, he’s still lying on the floor watching SportsCenter with his head propped against an exercise ball.
Internal dialogue: “Working out doesn’t seem so hard! And look, I’ve been here two hours. I should treat myself to a smoothie.”
Repressed internal dialogue: “If I go home, my wife won’t let me watch SportsCenter.”
Nagging question: How come I’m not ripped yet? Maybe it’s my metabolism.
Uniform: A full sweat suit. It gets chilly in here.

The StairMaster Drummer
How to recognize him: He’s the only man on the StairMaster who has an imaginary twenty-seven-piece Zildjian kit.
What he doesn’t know: He’s actually singing “Hot for Teacher” out loud.
Closely related to: The ab-mat dancer, the Exercycle e-mailer, the guy who Zumbas like nobody’s watching and talks on his cell phone like no one is listening.

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE FULL LIST AT GQ.COM

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If it turns out that “Sell in May and go away” is a no-go this year and the bull runs into the summer months, then we simply must consider an uptick in M&A/buyout activity, particularly at this stage in the bull market. 

Picking a buyout target requires an enormous amount of discipline, since often times you are entering a trade with a long-shot thesis, regardless of how logical you think it is that the firm gets bought out for a huge premium, making you a quick score.

With this in mind, here is a video and flowchart I made for 12631 members back in January 2011 for educational purposes, discussing the anatomy of takeover plays. Note that Atheros Communications has since been bought out by Qualcomm. 

See Also: “McGladrey Survey: Private Equity Optimism, Growth Set Stage for Increased Deal-Making” (click here)

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ANATOMY OF A TAKEOVER PLAY

1. Where Are We in the Cycle?

–> Easy Money/Cheap Borrowing Costs For Private Equity Firms

–> Firms Have High Levels of Cash re: M&A

–> Confidence Coming Back After Bear Market to do Deals–Recall 2008

Leads to…

2.  Which Sectors are Seeing the Most M&A Action?

–> Energy Sector Has Seen Deals Over the Past 18 Months

–> Technology Names are Perennial Targets/Sector Always Active

–> Financials Now Look to Be on Radar as Well

3. GOLDEN RULE FOR TAKEOVER PLAYS:

–> THOU SHALT OBEY THE “SISKEL TEST”–Gene Siskel (Siskel & Ebert)

—> Film Satires/Slapstick Comedies (e.g. “The Naked Gun” “Hot Shots”)

—> Would You Still Find the Joke Funny if You Had Not Seen the Film Being Spoofed?

—> Applied to Stocks: If Firm was Not Takeover Target, Would You Still Have Bought?

4. Examples: $ATHR, $BRCD, $HAIN, $NUAN

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A Prophet (2009) [“Un prophète” (original title)] is a terrific thriller about a young Arab man sent to a Corsican prison, where he must deal with the ruling mafia. Compared to the popcorn, campy thrillers largely released by Hollywood these days, this film is able to attain a certain depth to the characters and plot which makes it all the more gripping and entertaining.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZs2vL2my7o

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The seasonally very bullish time period for Buffalo Wild Wings, Inc. has come and gone, with the Super Bowl and March Madness both distant memories. Earnings are also out of the way, and despite the stock bouncing back late-last week after the sell-off, I am looking at this stock as now one of the weaker ones in an otherwise strong casual dining sector.

The stock is seasonally weak into the summer months, which makes sense when you consider that the NBA & NHL playoffs and MLB baseball are nowhere close to the kind of draw that the NFL and college basketball’s March Madness are. Unless the broad market lifts all boats next week, I am looking at this stock as a short setup on weakness to pair off against longs in this sector.

There are some decent long setups out there. But BWLD is not currently one of them into next week and perhaps beyond.

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Unlike in the poker room where you are playing against other gamblers (and the house takes a small cut of each pot or collects “time” each half hour), in blackjack you are playing directly against the house. Those big, fancy casinos were not built on making winners out of gamblers which stroll through the valet, freshly showered and ready to make a huge score. They were built on the mathematical edge which the casino possesses in all of the games in “the pit,” including blackjack.

Nonetheless, blackjack is a fun game to play if you are not gambling with your rent money, or money you cannot afford to lose. You can still play well and make solid decisions each and every time, which will give you a fighting chance over the long run at having a few nice wins here and there. The following infographic should help. 

via palaceofchance.com

New players often ask themselves how to master their abilities on card games, especially on those with higher odds of winning such as Blackjack. You can’t become a pro if you don’t master the very basic rules and strategy of the game. That’s exactly why we have created this infographic for you with the help of Greg Elder, a professional gambler and author of books such as “Gamblers Fight Back” and more.

If you are a newcomer to the world of online casino games, our “Blackjack: Hit or Stand” infographic will teach you the basics so you can master your game in no time. This graph is based on the multiple deck casino rules used on both Atlantic City and Las Vegas casinos, so it can be used not only while playing online but also if you decide to go on a gambling trip.

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They possess similar old man powers that Wilford Brimley did in Cocoon (1985), of course.

 

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