____________
Imagine that you are seven years old again. You have a nice, big birthday party, complete with your token pedophiliac magician, lukewarm pizza, and several parents talking about how they wish they could invest in a hedge fund run by Nouriel Roubini, so that they could get really rich. The party builds to a climax, in the form of you and your friends gathering around an oversized bull pinata.
Just from looking at the bull, you can tell that he is bloated, and therefore probably has tons of juicy candy inside. You imagine everything from Kit Kats to Jolly Ranchers lurking behind that fat pig of a bull. A few good whacks to the gut, and you are confident he will burst at the seams, sending you and your little buddies on a frenzy to be the first ones to get the best candies and assorted confections. Since it is your birthday, you are trying to time it so you will be the one who delivers the KILL SHOT to the bull, opening it up.
A few of your weaker friends take initial swings with the stick and make not so much as a dent in the pinata. They are laughed off of the stage and cry in their parents’ arms. Some of your stronger friends wind up and take huge, Darryl Strawberry-esque swings at the bull, but they too are driven to tears.
Finally, there are no others to attempt to break the pinata. Your best friend dutifully hands you the stick to deliver the KILL SHOT. Your name might as well be Doug Kass, as you are now all-in short on this bull pinata. Your generational bottom of being a six year old kid is now upon us, on this glorious seventh birthday of yours.
You wind up, take a huge swing at the bull and strike it forcefully. You almost knock yourself off-balance, and barely avoid falling flat on your face. The bull absorbs the blow…and then something really shocking happens. The bull pinata goes through a metamorphosis and proceeds to turn into a real-life bull! He knowingly smirks at you, showing off his “AJC 4TW” (Abby Joseph Cohen) tattoo, engraved in white for contrast.
The bull runs off into the distance, leaving you and your friends crying to no end and traumatized for life.
The End.
____________
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsYJyVEUaC4&feature=fvsr 450 300]r
Comments »