Joined Jul 30, 2008
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The Profit: Gio’s 2009 Predictions

What will happen in 2009?  Hmm, let’s see…  TSCM will be delisted, then will be re-listed on the Nasdaq as LMAO.  Removal of Bush will spark a rally.  The best time to short will be further down than you think, maybe July, after the Obama hype is over.  Detroit will upset Celtics in the second round, Lakers will win it all.  Yankees won’t make the playoffs.   AAPL to the 70s as news of Jobs retirement hits investors in a negative way.  Hawaii stocks will get hit hard. 

 …….. Yeah, I have a lot of crazy ideas.  Anyway, here is my map of 2009.  I wish I put it into a timeline, but ironically, I ran out of time.  Remember, these crazy ideas are either “crazy” or just “ideas.”  But all are likely scenarios, at least in my mind.  Nevertheless, predicting 2009 will be harder than we all think.  Anyway, here’s a snapshot of clairvoyance for you…

Download My Predictions in a PDF Here (interactive PDF)

If you download it, click on the “+” signs to expand the map

The Profit: Gio’s 2009 Predictions Guesses



Bernanke will raise rates

Target: Quarter 3

Market will tank on the news

Part of the Auto Industry will be owned by the Government, then reorganized. Chrysler will be no more.

There will be a few bull markets in weird places

Invest in Water… I will buy this h2o stock

Home Health Care Bubble will be a top industry

The Bush Rally

Market to rally 12%

Everyone will be happy!

America will cheer as soldiers in Iraq come home in mass

Dow to 10,777!

Ignited by the Bush rally, a few weeks later the market will trek its way back above 10k on the Obama rally

Vix will be in the mid 30s

Now will be the time to short!!

The Dow will drop -22% in a 3-day period

After the Bush + Obama Rally Sisypean Rally

The $ will crash

A global economic faction will be formed

A global unit of currency will be the focus of this summit… hehe, not really, but that would be cool.

Vix spikes to 80s = capitulation baby!

The Exchange Stocks will be nuked after a false rally, will lose 1/2 market caps

CME to double digits

NDAQ drops 60%

ICE drops 60%

Epic Scandals

Madoff will hang himself

FFH will drop -80% on scandal (I don’t know why)

TNH will drop -70% after cutting interest yields in half

Goldman Sachs to 0 …just kidding.  But it will get slammed.

The Dollar smashes foreign markets in the first half of 2009

Perma bears shorting the $ will lose big

EEV will double

After the $ kills foreign markets, get long China as they will unexpectedly rebound

FXP will be de-listed

The return of the 4-commodity-horsemen will come galloping back making a winepress out of Bears’ blood. I see 30% squeezes before setting up for another commodity Armageddon.


Will rally on INFLATION scares

Setting up a great short, as Gold dives back to 700


Oil will rally 30% back to the 60s



TIE will be bought by RIO

Retails will be horse nuked… after the Bush rally

Consumer spending to historic lows

Demand for luxury goods historic lows

.com Part 2

Consolidation into the industry will cause many smaller .com retail sites to lose considerable value

Good bye to… BFLY, SFLY, OSTK, and other queer me-too .coms

Solar Flare

Target: 4th quarter

Things to look for: Obama policy

One solar stock will move 600% on an epic short squeeze


Enjoy 2009!  Or not.

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  1. scum bucket

    I like it!

    My prediction: nuclear terrorism will become a common occurrence, perhaps six mushrooms sprout within 12 months, the S&P will rally 500 points on the news.

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  2. Dr. Incognito

    Cramer will make it a whole ten minutes of Mad Money not mentioning his book.

    Apple will be renamed Crapple.

    Computers will be killed by environmentalists with lead free solder.

    Mortgage apps will hit an all time high while home sales hit an all time low.

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  3. alphadawgg

    Nice work!

    Happy New Year, indeed!

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  4. Cuervos Laugh

    I don’t know about the whole H20 trade.
    I don’t think there’s enough of a scarcity for any of it to work yet.

    Looks like the story about the factory workers going back to the country was right.

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  5. Gio

    Haha. great prognostications guys! keep em coming. Here’s another one…

    Apple will upgrade their iPhone to a 3mp camera, while Blackberry will come out with a new phone with a 10mp digital SLR, and Motorola will come out with a RAZR with a pico-p projector. but they will all go out of business because Google will make wireless phone calls virtually free. In fact, Google will bailout the Government.

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  6. Gio

    H20 will be the biggest commodity! I saw it in the new Bond movie. I base all my trades on 007 movies.

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  7. ahgahh wha

    2009 will be the last rally of the US of A…
    But rest assured we will survive as the United Northern Union or something like that.

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  8. Cuervos Laugh

    @ahgahh wha

    Um, no there won’t be a United Northern Union any time soon.
    Mexico would have no issue probably as Vincente Fox asked for a united currency and got loudly ignored.

    Canada on the other hand – is looking to firm up relations with Europe:
    http://www.nationalpost.com/story.html?id=888289 which will serve it in good stead if the US decides to try to go it “alone”.

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  9. NYC chuteless basejumper
    NYC chuteless basejumper

    Google will make wireless phone calls virtually free

    what makes you think that? (I don’t doubt it)

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  10. stucktrader

    The Mobile space will experience the first stagnant year… with growth slowing…

    Blackberry/RIMM will be an after thought as Android phones will join the Verizon network. And AAPL’s secret weapon is their APP Store (Apple is replaying efforts of the Windows monopoly) And developers are making millions writing 100,000+ apps of useless stuff for the iPhone that basically does the same thing and make the claim of the most apps. Not to mention the iPod Touch becoming a gaming platform rather than just a media player

    I think MOT (maybe NOK too) will come out with the best Android phone and may seek vengence of AAPL… Just think a phone as sleek as a RAZR with the Android interface. You would think Sony should be involved somewhere, but they are too busy losing money elsewhere.

    MSFT will finally merge with YHOO – since they both are getting killed (in terms of foundations)

    in the end the Mobile space will be dominated by Open Source(Android) & iPhone(because of App Store)

    By the time this all plays out i will dump my Blackberry and have a new Moto-Android on T-Mobile

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  11. Sir Douchebag

    Definitely bet on war….

    the world needs a good war this year.

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