Chinese Takeout

So you’ve all had Chinese Takeout I’m sure. You generally feel pretty good about the whole ordeal; maybe you’ll actually will get some vegetables in your meal for a change. Sadly, after you finish, you realize that the food tasted like shit, you’re still hungry, and you’re an inflated balloon ready to burst.

INTC just had some chinese takeout. Buying MFE makes no goddamned sense. The deal will not be good for INTC. I say this acquisition will be a 99% waste of money. The 1% value here is that INTC may get the market moving – up. Yeah, shareholders love being chinese takeout.

Let’s see if jobless claims can put a damper on this. 1 minute.

Turd’s Roadside-psychic-my crystal ball is better than fuckin’ Nostradamus’s-based calls:

Jobless Claims (8:30 AM EST) – Over 500+

… and then there a massive riot and everyone gets killed. Market should probably rally because of that. Have a good night.

UPDATE 11:40 EST : http://www.zerohedge.com/article/boj-hold-emergency-policy-meeting-5am-gmt-additional-easing-announcement-expected-nikkei-sp-

Beware, it’s going to be nuts tomorrow. Fly save us all.

Pathetic. Prepare to get beaten like the mutt you are, market.

You are the aesthetician of your life. No one but you makes you sit in your little seat watching little green and red tick marks on an eye-destroying screen. That’s ideal, I suppose as some of you decide to watch CNBC and other silly men shouting about how stocks must go up soon. Today is going to be boring but no one is going to tell you that on TV. They want to suck the life out of you in furtherance of ad revenue. They want to be the aesthetician of your life. Don’t let ’em. Go for a walk. Ride a bike. Murder a small child. Whatever you do, do it because you want to do it. Don’t let this market (or anyone, for that matter) own you.

See you tomorrow,

Turd

Because they’ve gone down too much, because the level of uncertainty is unparalleled, because the magic lines I draw on my chart that e-trade gives me says so, because America, America Fuck Yeah, because my form of efficient market hypothesis says this fear has been priced in … durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

We are basically running on nothing. No one but the fucktards are buying any of this shit. Eddie Lampaert wants to take SHLD private over 100/share? That makes sense. Amazon wants Barnes and Noble because it wants more shit to sell you at 9.99% off of inflated price? The United States is a peaceful country not hellbent on global domination through any means necessary…

Oh, also from the land of make-believe, NFLX is trading at a fair price. I won’t tell you what I shorted at this morning, because you simply wouldn’t believe me.