[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gb_qHP7VaZE&feature=related 450 300] Why Democracy Always Fails in the Middle-East
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The Cradle of Civilisation (sic) has been giving us quite a bit of trouble recently, wot? First we had 20 years of taming Mesopatamia, and now, in the stomping grounds of old Ramses himself, the crowds are making noises like they are going to throw off the yoke of old Catcher’s Mitt Face and his various progeny, including son Gamal  (although I give Gamal Mubarak some kudos for marrying what has to be the best looking woman in Egypt, if not the whole damn Middle East); much like the Mesopatamians (with not inconsiderable help) gave the gallows treatment to Sadistic Saddam in Iraq.

Well, don’t bet on it, Tutankhaman. 

Call me cynical, but I think when you are talking about corrupt, massively bureaucratic  7,000 year old civilizations, shit doesn’t just “Viva la Revolucion” into a new happy-dappy government — even the meta-Islamicist kind– without the intervention of many, many well armed troops, preferably of the non-Aegyptian variety.

That’s right folks, I said it.   If anyone is going to take this ancient and corrupt shit-show on the Nile, it’s going to have to be heavily military-backed.   And guess what?  Last I looked, the defense ministry of Aegypt was taking down $2.5 billion pe annum in prime U.S. gelt as payment for the Sinai Accords some 33 years ago.  Payments that are — by contract — slated to be paid IN PERPETUITY!   You think that’s a payday anyone in their right mind — no matter how “Islamicist”– is willing to forego? 

So with the Tea Party Congress coming into power, and eyeballing crazy-assed guarantees like that, what better way to illustrate to the world the value of that BRIBE than by showing just how fragile that geography really is?  And oh, by the way?  Our new Congress has also been grumbling  (cough, cough- Rand Paul! — cough!) a bit about our subsidies to the State of Israel — another three billion per, and, coincidentally also contractually guaranteed in those same Camp David Accords.

Cynical?  Yes.  The way the Company has been operating the Middle East since it morphed from the OSS in the late 40’s?  Um, also affirmitive.

So we’ll see what we shall see, but let’s not have any talk about cutting Aegypt or Israel’s money lines just yet, shall we?   We wouldn’t want that awful Muslim Brotherhood to actually have to take on the trappings of rule, and really deligitimize Radical Islam once and for all, would we?

What would we have to talk about around the Danish bar, right?

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All the rest of you pikers can attend Saint Francis University  about how Aegypt “caused” Friday’s much predicted cataclysm.  For the last time, Aegypt was merely a convenient trigger–  an trader’s excuse for selling of a broadly overbought market.  The Ben Bernank has powers of levitation which are considerable when mixed with green ink and grey paper.   They are not, however, immortal powers.  Truth be told, they are more mortal than man.

So wise up.  We’re in for a nice sell off here.  If we get some levity tomorrow morning, don’t be stupid.  Take that as you cue to lighten your load.   And no, I’m not getting back into gold or silver miners either, although I am allowing my buy-stops to hit, like I did with SLW the other day at $29.05.   My EXK buy stop was not hit, mind you, though I expect it will be still.

As I said on the previous page, I may be wrong, and I may be waiting too long to pile back in.  But having the scars of many an early move on my back, I will hesitate here.  I can afford it, after all, having outpaced the majority of the market by doing just this — riding the precious bull for all it’s worth, while avoiding major pitfalls as well as possible.

Best to you all.  Wait for the signals.

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You See Kid, It’s All About the Proper ‘Stache
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Well, the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets lost… and many a friend, relative and associate is in mourning tonight.  I can almost feel their pain.  It’s tough to get so close to the Superbowl and then lose in a disjointed effort like that.  But the Jets should take heart, as they’ve a team to build on.   As well, the Steelers have indubitably the best defense in the league, and perhaps the best coach.  

 And let’s face it,  for the Jets to win a third playoff game on the road would be considered by some to be a near miracle.

I say “near,” because of course my own beloved Giants have performed that 3-Road Game Playoff Win feat, and topped even that by beating “the Unbeatable” New England Patriots.  You remember the Giselle Bundchen-related Patriots?  The team who had gone unbeaten in every game in the 2007 season…

Except the one that counted, I mean.  Heh.

No matter, the industrious Steelers pulled off the same carny trick the year after, albeit against a far inferior opponent.  Nevertheless, Mike Tomlin is great, Ben Roethlisberger is a loathesome pig, “Go Packers!”  and let’s move on…

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You want to know what I think the dollar is doing here?  I think it’s getting ready to rumble.  It’s been drip-sell, drip-sell, drip-sell for weeks now, and yet gold and silver have been pedaling in air, rather than soaring.   That means gold and silver, in their heavy, shiny brains know something.   This is what I think they know:

We might get a scrape below $78.00, but I think that’ll be the dog and the frog.  You’ll know the dollar is done diving because the market will crack like a ten week old egg left over from a third grade science project.  It’ll be smelly.  Are you prepared?

Everyone is asking me when I’m going to buy you-name-it– SLW, EXK, GDX, ANV, EGO etc., etc. 

Listen to me when I tell you that when its time to buy these things again, you will NOT want to do so.  Hear me?  Stop being so damn anxious and go have a clove cigarette and a warm paraffin foot bath or something.

In the meantime, here’s where I see EXK, you greedy little pigs, you:

Now remember that’s a weekly chart up there, so things will move slower than we’re used to seeing on the daily, and that distance to the buy is a site farther than it looks.  It might be three or four weeks from now.  So chill.

And here’s a bonus for you dynamite-strapped rocketeers out there.   If you try this, play it small because it’s wilder than boar hog afflicted with a case of cannibal crabs.  You see how much it was up on Friday?  Well don’t believe it.  This suckers going down just like it did last time.  Here’s my take:

That’s all for now.  Play tight and play defense this week.

Good luck to the Green Bay Packers, a real “good guy” team.  I might even root for Pittsburgh, but then, I have a daughter, soooo … no.

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[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gekaEzqj5g 450 300]

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Sold to you.

Pinless hand grenades?  Sold to you.

Hissing canister bombs?  Sold to you.

Marc Jacobs handbags full of poisonous asps?  Sold to you.

You get the picture.  I’ve given you my take, and yet you still insist I make purchases with you.   I speak of funnels, and threshers and even Evile Clammes, and yet you insist I join you in your cash allocating dervish.

Sir, I will not.

Here is what I think will happen.   I think we’ll probably bounce here.   We’re oversold, after all.   In fact, if we fill certain gaps I’ve got circled on my charts (don’t worry Bruce, The PPT will know first), I may even snatch a couple of shares of PM lovelies like SLW and EXK.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.  The Bigs need to move their bowels here, and in so passing, allocate their shares to the fevered masses.   They don’t do that all in one day, or even one week.   I suspect they will take this market up one more time, confirming the “buy the dip” stone-bound rule for all who lurk in Dunkin’ Donuts seeking free shots of hot hot espresso with double whip.

Then they will enjoy fresh bacon for weeks, lightly salted, lightly peppered, before taking us all back back to the Funhouse one last time.   Wouldn’t it be great if you had some cash on hand for that last ride?

Good day, sir.

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That’s right, folks, I’m just going to keep steepening the metaphorical curve until this market breaks, no matter how ridiculous I eventually become.

Don’t worry, “SuperNova” is still some weeks away, and for now we will talk about silly bulls idling about in a bucolic wheat field only to be set upon by a near-silent International Harvester Combine with razor sharp blades that will quickly render them into so many two and a half inch ribeye’s ready for dry-aging.

Again, despite myself, my portfolio edged up again today, a half percent, sparks flying and hedges hedging.  And weirder still, my half and one-third positions (thus far) in QID, SDD and SDS were all off rather minimally today.  In fact, SDD was even up a tad.   None of this action is making me think my thesis is wanting, though I may be stuck waiting while we grind to the end of this current cycle.

The only hedge that drew significant blood today was the one that had no counterpart (unless you count my small core position in SLV), which was my one half position in ZSL, the silver commodity ultra-short ETF.    Everything else was offset, including my SLW sold calls, which were outpaced by the underlying stock’s gains. 

Many of you chided me today about silver having a good day, but in your heart of hearts, you saw how the price struggled, and how my two favourites, SLW and EXK struggled to retain gains.   This is not the action of a bull ready to take off, but rather one that is seeking a siesta.

Make sure you have cash on hand, and please, stay out of the cornfields, Children…

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Despite my adopted team, the Green Collar Jets, winning an improbable playoff victory over the hard-to-like Tom Brady Patriots this weekend, I am in full choler right now, due to the exigencies of hardware failure. I’m downstairs posting from the kids’ computer tonight because my trusty Sony Vaio has gone “Vaio (sic) con Dios!” on me, and seems to have left the station for that great electronic synapse farm in the Sky. I guess that last trip out to California was just too much for it.

Suggestions are welcome, as long as you do not recommend I purchase a Craapl.  I have no interest in seeking out a new career in fashion and design, thanks very much.

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I expect many of you — my more loyal readers — are already in the bunker due to my ample warnings over these last two weeks.   Many of you, however, resemble the man at the top of the page, and love The Funnel so much that you’ve fashioned special Funnel Hats to celebrate itscoming, and your imminent dive down it’s narrowing throat structure.

Well, the original man with no heart —Steve Jobs — just declared he was going on another Health Holiday, most likely so he can rendevous with the Mother Ship and pick up the next space alien technological doo-dad for Craapl, and therefore kick Bill Gates’ & Steve Ballmar’s asses with greater alacrity.  That also means the market is now free to sell off with great vim and vinegar.

Got your QID yet?  I’ve only put half of mine on, as planned.  I think tomorrow might be the day for the rest, however.

Meanwhile, back at the old gold mill, I have sold down to a comfortable level, and I continue to believe we will see a pull back in the 10-15% range off the recent highs.  That could easily bring us to $1,300 or less on the POG, and we all know silver likes to make gold’s price moves look kittenish in comparison.   As a result, I have even purchased some ZSL to warm the bed I’ve made for myself.   You should consider trimming your EXK and SLW and PAAS, for sure, and please get out completely from the AGQ, before you hurt yourselves.

What’s that rumbling you hear from my garage?  Why yes, it does happen to be my 12-cylinder dual cammy (I have no idea what the means) slung back black coupe FAZ-mobile idling in the drive.   I haven’t taken it out for a spin yet, but I will be eyeing the BKX with great interest, JPM “grande” earnings aside.    Heck I may even break out a bowl of Skiffles for my morning repast tomorrow. 

It’s been a while hasn’t it?   And yet, somehow… it just feels right.   

Remember the plan, now Funnelites.  The plan is to have cash to invest in this PM bull for the long run into dollar implosion.   That emphatically does not mean you play “long-only” for the duration.   You should have a core in store, but right now is not the time to be a hero.   Take a break, take a vacation, or better yet, move to North Carolina.   No need to make life any more stressful than it already is.

Best to you all.

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I’ve got an extremely busy week ahead of me, so while I will attempt to log in as much as I can, I don’t expect I shall be my usual garrulous self.   I’m traveling out to Southern Bustopia on the West Coast, and I hope to be safely wheels down before the airport bonds go teats up, and the baggage handlers start throwing Molatav cocktails at the TSA while storming the control tower.

I expect I may end up having to be Hummer’d out — a la “Mad Max: The Road Warrior” — so I’ll be bringing several ingots of .999 silver to pay for the petrol and extra ammunition.

As far as that goes, this week may be a good week to trade some silver in for consumer goods like eye black and B.A.R. rounds, if you are so inclined.  A nice plow and a brace of oxen wouldn’t hurt to hold in reserve either, if you’re agriculturally minded.   You see, with regard to precious metals, I think we may see a dollar respite here, so I sold another 10k of EXK on Friday, bringing my position down to about 30% of my original peak.

I also divested myself of some IAG, some GSS, some CDE, a touch more SLW,  half of my PAAS, and about 30% of my ANV, with the remainder of those both being hedged, along with hedging most of the rest of the portfolio I didn’t choose to sell.   I now have egregious amounts of cash with which to buy what I believe will be a forthcoming dip in the precious markets that I believe we’ve been holding out for since early December.

I may be wrong, and if I am the first thing I will be purchasing is AGQ.   I will certainly let you know.

God bless you all, this night and always.

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