The following message was sent to me by my friend who has posted in the comments section at ibankcoin every now and again who goes by the name “Gambler”. He asked that this message be posted to my blog as his final will and testament…
Being 75% in TVIX, I am deeply fucked royally up the asshole, the peehole and even the earhole and nostrils if being fucked in such locations is possible.
As such this is my last will and testament and suicide note. I will be flying a credit-suisse plane into area 51 to get the alien fuckers that took my money and likely go down with the ship. I know that shit don’t make a damn bit of sense! but it is my growing suspicion that only extraterrestrial intelligence could be behind such a mess and TVIX is clearly an anagram for XTIV which stands for XtraTerrestial Intelligence Vehicle. I suspect it is led by none other than Osama Bin Ladin (an anagram for A DAMN ALIEN SOB which means he is still alive, sent into witness protection by President Obama, an anagram for “I mandate probes” in reference to the anal probes that siphon money out of the asshole through the egregious TVIX product.)
Since I only have a 25% cash position, I have put the last little bit ironically in credit suisse OTM call options at one cent each. Should CS gain over 10% by tomorrow the options will not expire and you shall inherit them, the resulting cash shall be given and divided to any willing accepteurs(sic) of the money that have at least 3 comments in Ibankcoin.com. My only request is that you must excersize the options first, and prior to selling, use the voting shares to propose and vote for the acquisition by my parent company for 1 cent per share, which I all pronounce you shareholders of. In effect, as shareholders of ANONYMOUS GAMBLER’S ASSOCIATION (not to be confused with GA) and thus owning CS, you will be responsible for the complete and utter destruction of any existing employees and managers responsible in anyway for the blackhole of money called TVIX. It is also the responsible of the accepteurs of the money to investigate and destroy any extra terrestrials involved in the TVIX product and anal probing and subsequent siphoning of earth money out through my asshole. By doing so, you… the meak… shall inherit the earth as prophesized
Ivan Bliminse (my pen name which I find fitting as it is an anagram for invisible man)
p.s. Rumors of my demise were greatly exaggerated.
…if you think that I would kill myself of money you have to be fucking kidding me. Yes this is a fucking joke, I will be back again someday.