A farewell from Gambler who had 75% of assets in TVIX

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The following message was sent to me by my friend who has posted in the comments section at ibankcoin every now and again who goes by the name “Gambler”. He asked that this message be posted to my blog as his final will and testament…

Dear World,

Being 75% in TVIX, I am deeply fucked royally up the asshole, the peehole and even the earhole and nostrils if being fucked in such locations is possible.

As such this is my last will and testament and suicide note. I will be flying a credit-suisse plane into area 51 to get the alien fuckers that took my money and likely go down with the ship. I know that shit don’t make a damn bit of sense! but it is my growing suspicion that only extraterrestrial intelligence could be behind such a mess and TVIX is clearly an anagram for XTIV which stands for XtraTerrestial Intelligence Vehicle. I suspect it is led by none other than Osama Bin Ladin (an anagram for A DAMN ALIEN SOB which means he is still alive, sent into witness protection by President Obama, an anagram for “I mandate probes” in reference to the anal probes that siphon money out of the asshole through the egregious TVIX product.)

Since I only have a 25% cash position, I have put the last little bit ironically in credit suisse OTM call options at one cent each. Should CS gain over 10% by tomorrow the options will not expire and you shall inherit them, the resulting cash shall be given and divided to any willing accepteurs(sic) of the money that have at least 3 comments in Ibankcoin.com. My only request is that you must excersize the options first, and prior to selling, use the voting shares to propose and vote for the acquisition by my parent company for 1 cent per share, which I all pronounce you shareholders of. In effect, as shareholders of ANONYMOUS GAMBLER’S ASSOCIATION (not to be confused with GA) and thus owning CS, you will be responsible for the complete and utter destruction of any existing employees and managers responsible in anyway for the blackhole of money called TVIX. It is also the responsible of the accepteurs of the money to investigate and destroy any extra terrestrials involved in the TVIX product and anal probing and subsequent siphoning of earth money out through my asshole. By doing so, you… the meak… shall inherit the earth as prophesized

Farewell world,
Ivan Bliminse (my pen name which I find fitting as it is an anagram for invisible man)
aka Gambler

p.s. Rumors of my demise were greatly exaggerated.

…if you think that I would kill myself of money you have to be fucking kidding me. Yes this is a fucking joke, I will be back again someday.

15 Responses to “A farewell from Gambler who had 75% of assets in TVIX”

  1. It’s “greed” when the little guy tries and come up.

    It’s “a market” when Goliath goes full thug.

    Best of luck Gambler!

    • Seriously, what a goddamn joke.

      And I know the market is gonna roar as this news spreads just because, it’s official, wall st. can officially get away with murder.

  2. You made me laugh – another idiot here who has lost substantially using these triple – levered etf’s.

    Best of luck on the come back.

  3. 75% of the asset in one trade?!? Did anyone pause to think about this? True to his moniker, he was gambling alright.

    Irrespective of this TVIX fiasco, he had it coming. In other word, it didn’t need to be TVIX, it could be any trading vehicle he was in.

  4. that’s rough. sorry bro

  5. Best of luck to you Gambler,

    True Gambling is what these super leveraged derivative of derivatives are for, same as black jack but on the bright side you still don’t lose all your money and have money for lunch.

    Ive took some big losses a ways back and know ur pain. All traders/investors are gamblers in my book regardless of what they trade or invest in.

    Though they are ok for big gambling daytrades in my book since all stocks or etf’s/etn’s have their day of mini flash crashes (no exceptions really).

    For overnight holds to bet in a certain direction and have your trade more then likely go the way it is suppose try to learn to trade futures in your spare time and keep your money spread out between a few brokerages in case you get hit with a margin call.

    • I agreed with you that all traders/investors are “gambling” in some form but there is a big difference b/w reckless gambling and controlled gambling.

      All in (I considered 75% of holding in one stock as all in) as opposed to 5% of portfolio in one stock with 2% stop loss is an example of reckless vs controlled.

      Sure, you may have a big killing if your all-in swing your way; but unless you are blessed with a vision to see the future, you will end up giving it all back and more eventually.

      Good Hunting!

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