A Word on Bachelor Parties and Cheaters (Unrelated)

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I don’t even understand the concept of a bachelor party, especially in this day and age. I have 7 weddings to go to/be in between May and October. The majority of my friends who are getting married, are being cool about it. On the other hand, I got an email this morning saying that the bachelor party for one of the weddings was going to be in Italy. I frankly don’t even know why this guy invited me to the wedding, and why to the bachelor party, but I’m sure I could come up with a reason or two.

After saying how his parents bought him tickets, and paid for his hotel rooms…

“Guys, the tickets for the flights are only $1400 round trip right now, and the hotel/transportation is only $1200..”

Are you kidding me? You want me to spend almost $3000 to go to Italy and get drunk, with a bunch of people I don’t like? Firstly, If I was going to go to Italy, it would not be with this guy, and secondly, it would not be to get drunk, it would be to see the Colosseum, the Vatican, etc. Pure insanity. I don’t pull punches, so I replied:

“I’m allergic to pasta. You guys enjoy. Ciao Bella!”

Besides the fact that they make their “friends” spend a lot of money, that they– more often than not –do not have, guilt them into going, and expect them to drop what they are doing and treat them like a god, what is this idiocy for? It’s supposed to celebrate your last night of being single, yet almost all of my friends who are getting married have been living with their significant other for years. When the lady and I get married, nothing will change, except a title, and the number of rings she wears on her finger.

Then you have the single pigs, who are trying to get the groom to act like a frat boy animal, and the married guys who just want to go home.  Their behavior is egregious, why exactly do you want your friend to get so inebriated that he throws up all over himself? Don’t even get me started on the women, as a bouncer I always bachelorette duty. Possibly because everyone else thought it was so funny how disgusted I would get.

These women would act like absolutely egregious whores, trying to get the bride-to-be to put foreign objects– belonging to strange men–in her mouth, and the list goes on. If this is how you are celebrating before your marriage, then you are not fit to be married. Conversely, you should want to make it fun for people to come, not a burden driven by guilt.

Yesterday my friend texted me that his bachelor party would now be threes days– Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday –with his wedding on Friday. It’s a four hour drive, and I don’t have a week to throw away. Trying to negotiate with him, he said

“you work from home so don’t tell me you can’t just drop stuff and come up here” (he doesn’t use punctuation or caps)

To which I replied “I, in fact, cannot, so I’ll just see you at the wedding then.”

“youre a fucking asshole”

I was going to send him a pic of my balls, but he would probably enjoy it too much. I blocked his number , and right now he gets a seven day sentence, if he has good behavior.

And everyone wonders why marriage has become such a joke…

I was already becoming unhinged by this, but then my friend– that was my battle buddy and roommate forever in the Army and is now in LRSD National Guard –called me and told me that he had been given an F in a course at his MBA school in PA, because so much of the class cheated. The ring leader asked him to cheat too, but he refused– of course –and apparently there was not enough evidence to punish the ring leader alone, so everyone was failed.

He’s taking it up with the school, but at this point, he cannot advance to the next course in the series without passing this one first. I’ve never cheated, I’d much rather fail than cheat. I also value honor and integrity, which are dying principles. We are so focused on results these days, that people actually work hard trying to cheat, but don’t just want to put the hard work in to succeed the honest way. How did it come to this? Here’s the progression.

  1. Little Jon cheats on his math test in 5th grade, by looking at another student’s paper. He has to get an A so his dad will take him to the Yankees’ game.
  2. Little Jon cheats on his AP math exams in middle school, so he can get into that prestigious private high school.
  3. Little Jon cheats all the way through high school, as much as he can, at this point it is just the way he does things. What’s studying?
  4. Little Jon gets into that college his dad wanted him to, and gets a brand new M3 as a graduation gift. He goes off to college, founds a club,– by using unethical procedures –gets the internship he always wanted, and is offered a permanent position.
  5. Little Jon finds actually having to work not suited to his liking, so he decides to get his MBA, on his company’s dime. Back in school, he convinces others to cheat, causing a veteran paratrooper with a Bronze Star with V, who is Ranger qualified, a jump master (Senior Parachutist wings), graduated at the top of his class at Pathfinder and Sniper, and is one of the nicest, most loyal people I have ever met, to fail, and be held back a semester.
  6. Little Jon, back at work, shares insider info back and forth with the contacts he made at school. He is promoted past his peers, who are trying to go the good ol’ hard work route.
  7. Little Jon takes his popularity and uses it to propel him into public office, gaining more and more followers, and making more and more bullshit promises.
  8. Little Jon starts his own fund, with plenty of people ready to throw capital his way. Not actually knowing the difference between hard work and his ass, he loses most of his clients’ money, then uses the remainder to cover up the bankruptcy. When he goes before the senate to be asked what happened to the client money that was, in fact, used to pay off the bankruptcy, he lies, because that’s all he knows. He is set free, and back at it.

And everyone wonders why the market and the economy are so rigged…

 

 

This is Manifest Destiny, This is America

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I often get caught up in all the negativity surrounding our troubled nation. All the entitlements, the unions, unemployment, pumping our currency to death, and the politicians who use their power in the wrong way– insider trading anyone?– but there is still greatness out there. I know it’s just a song, and it’s just a sport, but if you listen to the words and think about all the sacrifices that it took us to get to where we are, it becomes more than a sport or a song.

All the people who built NYC, dug the Eerie Canal, laid the railroads, fought the British, fought their brothers on opposite sides of the Mason Dixon, came west for the Gold Rush, went off to Europe and Japan to fight an enemy we never provoked, are pulling security in a dusty hole at high elevation in Afghanistan, throw themselves into burning buildings to help others, and who stay up all night trying to innovate and create, all are Americans.

This is manifest destiny, those who emigrated here were forced to adapt, and to overcome. They built businesses and families, with names like Bechtel. All the great powers of old, from Europe and elsewhere, could only watch, as those with the heart, desire, and determination, left their old countries, to come and try to make something of themselves.

Though we have grown much weaker, and a vast part of the populace are nothing but beggars, there are still those that only want to work hard and be great. All of you that do your own due diligence, staying up late to analyze charts, getting up early to listen to earnings calls, forgoing social lives in order to come up with your next great idea, you are manifest destiny.

There’s a reason why we strive for greatness, and I think this is our foundation. It’s further evident through our love of sport; the heart, the pain, and the hard work that go into competing at the highest levels, also go into being good at anything. Remember that the next time you see a young shortstop make a diving play, or a defensive tackle stop a RB on the 4 yard line.

Channel this into everything you do, listen to the Star Spangled Banner play within your mind, knowing that the flag is still– in fact –there. When’re you’re tired of looking at Bollinger bands, or looking through income statements,  remember, this is what makes us great. When the rest of the world is sitting around being gluttons, we work hard, because that is what makes us who we are.

Go Giants, and short P, haha.

 

Little “Fratastic” Men are Managing Your Money

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You can read the definition of “fratastic” on Urban Dictionary here, and you will notice that it is such an epidemic, that the people who wrote the definitions actually think it’s “cool” to act like this. Also, not all the negative votes.  Here’s my definition.

Fratastic (adjective): Boys trapped in men’s bodies– well somewhat, as they often look like little boys, that act as if they are in a fraternity, but have been out of college for at least 4 years. They play “beer pong,” on Tuesday nights, and think that because of their exploits in college, this makes them the coolest and most awesome individual ever. They think the can do no wrong, and have no fear of physical retribution. They have no semblance of responsibilty, and no that their parents will bail them out no matter what.

Alex was being super fratastic when he took two jager bombs– while wearing a pink polo with short khaki shorts and top siders — then hit on that big guy’s girlfriend, telling the guy he shouldn’t mess with him, because his dad was a lawyer, and could make him disappear.

This type of thing occurs all the time. Recently, a friend of mine who works for a large firm downtown, sent me an email conversation he had with a coworker he hates. For the sake of my buddy not having to kick the dude’s ass at work, I will summarize. This guy is 30 years old, went to a private school in Southern California, was an officer in a frat, and now is analyst down town. My friend suspects that his dad got him the job, because he is almost never given any real work, and nothing hard. Apparently he almost got kicked out of school for having a coke problem and feeding it to Freshman girls, but his dad made a donation. He brags openly about this– so I’ve heard –but I have not heard it first hand.

He’s about 5’7″-5’8,” “skinny fat (tiny arms, big belly),” and balding. It’s not like he has an excuse for this, he doesn’t work hard and has plenty of time and money to get to the gym and hire a trainer. He chooses to eat like shit, and go to the bar every night instead. He claimed that there were never any “decent broads to slam,” at the bar all the guys who work there go to after work. My friend goes straight to the gym, and has only been to the bar once.

This clown claims that he “used to bag multi dime pieces per week on the reg” at “THE HOUSE.” He doesn’t get it now, he walks up to ladies that “he wouldn’t have run a train on in school,” and they don’t give him the time of day. His approach? He walks up and says “Hey, I work for ‘XY across the street/downtown,” then calls the women “[my] favorite, stupid whores, because that is what they are if they don’t understand who [he is].”

Then he went on to say how he had been paying for escorts because the “normal sluts don’t know how to ride a god.” This is in an email to a coworker that he really doesn’t hang out with that much. I haven’t seen proof but apparently he has alleged that he would do anything illegal or unethical for the company, to advance his position. Makes you feel great about having your money there right?

I’ve only met the guy once, but he said that we “were about the same size, [I was] just slightly taller.” 5’7″-5’8″ and a very fluffy ~180lbs, compared to 6’1″-6’2″ ~270lbs, is far from “about.” The worst part, this guy and his boss openly talk about how his boss has multiple girlfriends on the side, while his wife stays home with the kids. The young idiot wants to be just like him.

When I met this guy it was at an investment conference downtown, and after hearing that my fiance (girlfriend at the time) was “hot,” he followed me around and insisted I show him a pic of the lady. Looking to get rid of him, I reluctantly showed him, he tried to grab the phone out of my hand and wanted to see more. I almost head butted him, then seemingly not getting the picture, came up to me after the conference at the “meet and greet” and asked me “if I was ever interested in a three-way to let him know,” and tried to give me his card.

I promptly slapped the card out of  is hand and let about 5 people restrain me. Why am I taking the time to tell you this? His boss got a promotion on 4/1, and decided to give this idiot one today, and they are both headed to NYC. You guys can have him.

I try to always act in an ethical manner, but I don’t think there is anything I can do about this guy, so I am just going to let it go, and hopefully karma will sort things out.

A Word on Bachelor Parties and Cheaters (Unrelated)

935 views

I don’t even understand the concept of a bachelor party, especially in this day and age. I have 7 weddings to go to/be in between May and October. The majority of my friends who are getting married, are being cool about it. On the other hand, I got an email this morning saying that the bachelor party for one of the weddings was going to be in Italy. I frankly don’t even know why this guy invited me to the wedding, and why to the bachelor party, but I’m sure I could come up with a reason or two.

After saying how his parents bought him tickets, and paid for his hotel rooms…

“Guys, the tickets for the flights are only $1400 round trip right now, and the hotel/transportation is only $1200..”

Are you kidding me? You want me to spend almost $3000 to go to Italy and get drunk, with a bunch of people I don’t like? Firstly, If I was going to go to Italy, it would not be with this guy, and secondly, it would not be to get drunk, it would be to see the Colosseum, the Vatican, etc. Pure insanity. I don’t pull punches, so I replied:

“I’m allergic to pasta. You guys enjoy. Ciao Bella!”

Besides the fact that they make their “friends” spend a lot of money, that they– more often than not –do not have, guilt them into going, and expect them to drop what they are doing and treat them like a god, what is this idiocy for? It’s supposed to celebrate your last night of being single, yet almost all of my friends who are getting married have been living with their significant other for years. When the lady and I get married, nothing will change, except a title, and the number of rings she wears on her finger.

Then you have the single pigs, who are trying to get the groom to act like a frat boy animal, and the married guys who just want to go home.  Their behavior is egregious, why exactly do you want your friend to get so inebriated that he throws up all over himself? Don’t even get me started on the women, as a bouncer I always bachelorette duty. Possibly because everyone else thought it was so funny how disgusted I would get.

These women would act like absolutely egregious whores, trying to get the bride-to-be to put foreign objects– belonging to strange men–in her mouth, and the list goes on. If this is how you are celebrating before your marriage, then you are not fit to be married. Conversely, you should want to make it fun for people to come, not a burden driven by guilt.

Yesterday my friend texted me that his bachelor party would now be threes days– Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday –with his wedding on Friday. It’s a four hour drive, and I don’t have a week to throw away. Trying to negotiate with him, he said

“you work from home so don’t tell me you can’t just drop stuff and come up here” (he doesn’t use punctuation or caps)

To which I replied “I, in fact, cannot, so I’ll just see you at the wedding then.”

“youre a fucking asshole”

I was going to send him a pic of my balls, but he would probably enjoy it too much. I blocked his number , and right now he gets a seven day sentence, if he has good behavior.

And everyone wonders why marriage has become such a joke…

I was already becoming unhinged by this, but then my friend– that was my battle buddy and roommate forever in the Army and is now in LRSD National Guard –called me and told me that he had been given an F in a course at his MBA school in PA, because so much of the class cheated. The ring leader asked him to cheat too, but he refused– of course –and apparently there was not enough evidence to punish the ring leader alone, so everyone was failed.

He’s taking it up with the school, but at this point, he cannot advance to the next course in the series without passing this one first. I’ve never cheated, I’d much rather fail than cheat. I also value honor and integrity, which are dying principles. We are so focused on results these days, that people actually work hard trying to cheat, but don’t just want to put the hard work in to succeed the honest way. How did it come to this? Here’s the progression.

  1. Little Jon cheats on his math test in 5th grade, by looking at another student’s paper. He has to get an A so his dad will take him to the Yankees’ game.
  2. Little Jon cheats on his AP math exams in middle school, so he can get into that prestigious private high school.
  3. Little Jon cheats all the way through high school, as much as he can, at this point it is just the way he does things. What’s studying?
  4. Little Jon gets into that college his dad wanted him to, and gets a brand new M3 as a graduation gift. He goes off to college, founds a club,– by using unethical procedures –gets the internship he always wanted, and is offered a permanent position.
  5. Little Jon finds actually having to work not suited to his liking, so he decides to get his MBA, on his company’s dime. Back in school, he convinces others to cheat, causing a veteran paratrooper with a Bronze Star with V, who is Ranger qualified, a jump master (Senior Parachutist wings), graduated at the top of his class at Pathfinder and Sniper, and is one of the nicest, most loyal people I have ever met, to fail, and be held back a semester.
  6. Little Jon, back at work, shares insider info back and forth with the contacts he made at school. He is promoted past his peers, who are trying to go the good ol’ hard work route.
  7. Little Jon takes his popularity and uses it to propel him into public office, gaining more and more followers, and making more and more bullshit promises.
  8. Little Jon starts his own fund, with plenty of people ready to throw capital his way. Not actually knowing the difference between hard work and his ass, he loses most of his clients’ money, then uses the remainder to cover up the bankruptcy. When he goes before the senate to be asked what happened to the client money that was, in fact, used to pay off the bankruptcy, he lies, because that’s all he knows. He is set free, and back at it.

And everyone wonders why the market and the economy are so rigged…

 

 

This is Manifest Destiny, This is America

619 views

I often get caught up in all the negativity surrounding our troubled nation. All the entitlements, the unions, unemployment, pumping our currency to death, and the politicians who use their power in the wrong way– insider trading anyone?– but there is still greatness out there. I know it’s just a song, and it’s just a sport, but if you listen to the words and think about all the sacrifices that it took us to get to where we are, it becomes more than a sport or a song.

All the people who built NYC, dug the Eerie Canal, laid the railroads, fought the British, fought their brothers on opposite sides of the Mason Dixon, came west for the Gold Rush, went off to Europe and Japan to fight an enemy we never provoked, are pulling security in a dusty hole at high elevation in Afghanistan, throw themselves into burning buildings to help others, and who stay up all night trying to innovate and create, all are Americans.

This is manifest destiny, those who emigrated here were forced to adapt, and to overcome. They built businesses and families, with names like Bechtel. All the great powers of old, from Europe and elsewhere, could only watch, as those with the heart, desire, and determination, left their old countries, to come and try to make something of themselves.

Though we have grown much weaker, and a vast part of the populace are nothing but beggars, there are still those that only want to work hard and be great. All of you that do your own due diligence, staying up late to analyze charts, getting up early to listen to earnings calls, forgoing social lives in order to come up with your next great idea, you are manifest destiny.

There’s a reason why we strive for greatness, and I think this is our foundation. It’s further evident through our love of sport; the heart, the pain, and the hard work that go into competing at the highest levels, also go into being good at anything. Remember that the next time you see a young shortstop make a diving play, or a defensive tackle stop a RB on the 4 yard line.

Channel this into everything you do, listen to the Star Spangled Banner play within your mind, knowing that the flag is still– in fact –there. When’re you’re tired of looking at Bollinger bands, or looking through income statements,  remember, this is what makes us great. When the rest of the world is sitting around being gluttons, we work hard, because that is what makes us who we are.

Go Giants, and short P, haha.

 

Little “Fratastic” Men are Managing Your Money

699 views

You can read the definition of “fratastic” on Urban Dictionary here, and you will notice that it is such an epidemic, that the people who wrote the definitions actually think it’s “cool” to act like this. Also, not all the negative votes.  Here’s my definition.

Fratastic (adjective): Boys trapped in men’s bodies– well somewhat, as they often look like little boys, that act as if they are in a fraternity, but have been out of college for at least 4 years. They play “beer pong,” on Tuesday nights, and think that because of their exploits in college, this makes them the coolest and most awesome individual ever. They think the can do no wrong, and have no fear of physical retribution. They have no semblance of responsibilty, and no that their parents will bail them out no matter what.

Alex was being super fratastic when he took two jager bombs– while wearing a pink polo with short khaki shorts and top siders — then hit on that big guy’s girlfriend, telling the guy he shouldn’t mess with him, because his dad was a lawyer, and could make him disappear.

This type of thing occurs all the time. Recently, a friend of mine who works for a large firm downtown, sent me an email conversation he had with a coworker he hates. For the sake of my buddy not having to kick the dude’s ass at work, I will summarize. This guy is 30 years old, went to a private school in Southern California, was an officer in a frat, and now is analyst down town. My friend suspects that his dad got him the job, because he is almost never given any real work, and nothing hard. Apparently he almost got kicked out of school for having a coke problem and feeding it to Freshman girls, but his dad made a donation. He brags openly about this– so I’ve heard –but I have not heard it first hand.

He’s about 5’7″-5’8,” “skinny fat (tiny arms, big belly),” and balding. It’s not like he has an excuse for this, he doesn’t work hard and has plenty of time and money to get to the gym and hire a trainer. He chooses to eat like shit, and go to the bar every night instead. He claimed that there were never any “decent broads to slam,” at the bar all the guys who work there go to after work. My friend goes straight to the gym, and has only been to the bar once.

This clown claims that he “used to bag multi dime pieces per week on the reg” at “THE HOUSE.” He doesn’t get it now, he walks up to ladies that “he wouldn’t have run a train on in school,” and they don’t give him the time of day. His approach? He walks up and says “Hey, I work for ‘XY across the street/downtown,” then calls the women “[my] favorite, stupid whores, because that is what they are if they don’t understand who [he is].”

Then he went on to say how he had been paying for escorts because the “normal sluts don’t know how to ride a god.” This is in an email to a coworker that he really doesn’t hang out with that much. I haven’t seen proof but apparently he has alleged that he would do anything illegal or unethical for the company, to advance his position. Makes you feel great about having your money there right?

I’ve only met the guy once, but he said that we “were about the same size, [I was] just slightly taller.” 5’7″-5’8″ and a very fluffy ~180lbs, compared to 6’1″-6’2″ ~270lbs, is far from “about.” The worst part, this guy and his boss openly talk about how his boss has multiple girlfriends on the side, while his wife stays home with the kids. The young idiot wants to be just like him.

When I met this guy it was at an investment conference downtown, and after hearing that my fiance (girlfriend at the time) was “hot,” he followed me around and insisted I show him a pic of the lady. Looking to get rid of him, I reluctantly showed him, he tried to grab the phone out of my hand and wanted to see more. I almost head butted him, then seemingly not getting the picture, came up to me after the conference at the “meet and greet” and asked me “if I was ever interested in a three-way to let him know,” and tried to give me his card.

I promptly slapped the card out of  is hand and let about 5 people restrain me. Why am I taking the time to tell you this? His boss got a promotion on 4/1, and decided to give this idiot one today, and they are both headed to NYC. You guys can have him.

I try to always act in an ethical manner, but I don’t think there is anything I can do about this guy, so I am just going to let it go, and hopefully karma will sort things out.

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