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Raul shares his skincare routine

Hydration and exfoliation are the name of the game when it comes to skincare. But everyone’s skin is different. Being a somewhat swarthy southern european type, my skin is pretty oily.

The oils in my diet are important because they leech out onto the surface of my body at an accelerated rate. No seed oils. I keep two grades of single-origin olive oil in the pantry. One for cooking and one for dressing. Most of the fish meat in my diet is wild caught from Lake Superior. The trout is nice and oily.

No mammal or avian grease enters my system at any time. Disgusting.

I drink mostly from the tap, which I plumbed dechlorniation and carbon filtration into. These filters are changed quarterly. I drink 3 cups of water with breaking fast. If I am working around Mothership I will consume about 9-12 cups of water in a day. If I am toiling at the farm my water intake increases to about 30 cups.

I wear sunscreen every day. Even in the winter. Even inside. In the summertime and while snowboarding I wear Shiseido’s Ultimate Sun Protector which is water proof and Spf 50. The rest of the time I use Shisedo’s Urban Environment Oil-free Uv Protector, which turns the sun’s burning rays into healing rays.

I never take a razored blade to my thick facial hair. Instead I use Wahl peanut clipper to bring the stubble to varying lengths, depending on my mood and the season. Lately I am keeping my stubble tight, using a #1 guard about 2-3x per week. I clipper my face before showering.

The only soap that touches my face is Dr. Bronner’s. Liquid or bar. I prefer peppermint, tea tree or eucalyptus but will use rose or almond in a pinch. This is a strong soap but again, I have over active sebaceous glands. Still, I avoid the eye area and only keep the suds on my face for a few seconds, putting some extra effort into cleaning along the hairline, around the nose and behind the ears.

I make use of several masks. On clippered beard days I apply Kate Somerville’s ExfoliKate. Considered the holy grail of exfoliator by industry professionals, this mask is clinically proven to smooth texture and improve pores to give the skin a radiant glow.

In the early spring, especially on a rainy day I like to apply a thick layer if Irish moor mud. Peter Thomas Roth has a clever formulation that women in Manhattan pay good money for and so do I. This mask is best applied after the shower and worn outside in the rain for a nice long sit. This mask would never be done on the same day as an exfoliation treatment.

In the summer or a particularly dry winter stretch the Peter Thomas Roth Cucumber Gel Extreme Detoxifying Hydrator mask is a life saver.

After showers and masks, I gently pat my face dry with a towel. All towels are white and washed in a hot cycle with an appropriate amount of natural detergent like Ecos and a bit of oxyclean and bleach. The cup on the washing machine that most americans fill with a disgusting ‘fabric softener’ is filled with white vinegar. This serves to emulsify and remove any remaining detergent from the towels during the rinse.

Next I apply either a day or nighttime serum from Keihl’s. For daytime I use the cannabis oil formulation. At night, the ‘midnight recovery’. I use the pipette to drip the serum along my hairline and then onto my nose and cheekbones. Then I use my finger tips to gently drum the oil into my pores. Little rapid taps, sort of like jazz hands.

While this is setting up I use my right pinky (which was not involved in applying the serum) to put a small dot of eye cream under each eye. Lately I’ve been using the Keihl’s avocado creamy eye treatment. This can be worked all the way up to the bottom eyelids and the top eyelid gently.

Next I apply Dr. Brandt’s Cool Biotic Prebiotic Redness Relief Cream to my entire face. Dr. Brandt hung himself in the garage of his Miami home during the early morning hours of Sunday, April 5th 2015. Some consider that level of dedication to forever youth admirable. To me it was just down bad selfishness. The company floundered for several years after his death. The biggest blow to my skincare routine was when they put the kibosh on their Pores-No-More Pore Refining cream which was a little jar of heaven. I am convinced it was a loss leader. A product so perfect, yet so expensive to make it had to perish with the founder.

Next sunscreen is applied. If sunscreen needs to be reapplied prior to my next shower I make sure my hands are as clean as possible and reapply it to my dirty skin.

Finally I apply a thick coating of meadowfoam seed oil to my beard zone and neck, behind my ears. This is an excellent carrier oil. Not too greasy. Cheap but nice. Sometime I’ll add a bit of myrrh or cedar oil to the medowfoam oil if I am trying to smell fancy.

There you have it lads. This is my skincare routine. Pair it with a draconian commitment to exercise, a passion for fresh air, lots of naps, about 5 orgasms a day and plenty of dark leafy greens and you have the recipe for a deviant middle-aged chap who poses a constant threat to men and women alike.

Okay for now.

Raul Santos, November 4th 2021

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5 comments

  1. LB

    BEST IBANKCOIN POST EVER

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  2. Dr Fly

    HEAVY JASON TREU VIBES. https://web.archive.org/web/20090725222948/http://ibankcoin.com/lifestyle/

    I do none of this shit.

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    • mad willie thompson
      mad willie thompson

      Too bad the Way Back Machine didn’t preserve the comments. They were priceless.

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  3. RaginCajun

    damn, i need to up my skincare game.

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  4. Suddsy B

    Reeks of Patrick Bateman

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