BEAST MODE: Tesla Trades To New All Time High After Record Setting Quarter

Raul3 Mon Apr 3, 2017 3:12pm EST 3 Comments

Shares of the world’s greatest technology company, Tesla, are achieving new heights Monday after the company’s CEO, the magnificent Elon Musk (all Praise and Glory to The Leader) handsomely announced, they set a delivery record in the first quarter.

Twenty five thousand, OVER twenty five thousand Tesla cars were delivered to excited consumers, consumers excited to tell the sheiks running OPEC, the goons lording over American oil firms, and every internal combustion earth hater, “byeeee.”

Benzinga on the finer details:

Tesla delivered over 25,000 vehicles in Q1, of which about 13,450 were Model S and about 11,550 were Model X. This was a new quarterly record and represents a 69 percent increase over Q1 2016.

Q1 production totaled 25,418 vehicles, also a new quarterly record.

Also, over the weekend, our lord and savior, our benevolent Elon (all Praise and Glory to The Leader) was rumored to be building an entire clean tech city. As of this publication, the rumor is being considered an April Fools prank.

For now, investors will have to be content with being involved in the only company hellbent on disrupting the most diabolical forces on our earth. The pure evil that capitalism gave birth to, the oil executive.

So far it appears to be working. The company had a record setting first quarter as they barrel toward their Q3 goal of mass production. The Model 3, a car for the working man, and an opportunity to dollar vote against the muckrakers in Alberta, Canada.

BULLISH