ARMAGEDDON!!! Should Have Used a Flashlight…
***Warning*** NSFW
Comments »ATTENTION SCUMBAGS ON CELL PHONES: BROADWAY ACTORS WILL KICK YOUR ASS!
(via NY POST)
For anybody who’s ever been annoyed by some idiot texting near them in a dark theater, seeing justice done is sweet. But never more colorfully or symbolically so than at a recent performance of the off-Broadway play “Freud’s Last Session,” in which one transgressor was reprimanded by the father of modern psychology himself.
“There was a lady texting in the front row,” says actor Martin Rayner, who plays Sigmund Freud in the show, which is at New World Stages.
“It’s very distracting, especially in such a small theater. I decided at some point I had had enough of it, and I turned to her and said, ‘Stop texting!’ and carried on. She was stunned. I think my partner onstage was stunned, too, because I stuck it in the middle of a line!
WIREIMAGE
Hugh Jackman, “A Steady Rain,” September 2009: “You wanna get that? Come on, just turn it off. Don’t be embarrassed, just grab it. You got it? All right, great.”
It got a cheer,” Rayner recalls.
“I think a lot of audiences hate those people sitting next to them texting.”
That moment of triumph seems indicative of a growing resentment of the boorish, entitled smartphone addicts who seem to pop up at every movie or live performance these days. The common wisdom in years past has been to simply ignore such bad behavior, or accept it as an unfortunate side effect of our perma-online culture.
Lately, though, fed-up patrons and performers are pushing back — such as conductor Alan Gilbert of the New York Philharmonic, who recently stopped the orchestra in the midst of a climactic moment in a Mahler symphony when an iPhone marimba ringtone sounded in the front row.
“Are you finished?” he asked. The tone went on. “Fine, we’ll wait.” When it finally stopped, Gilbert apologized to the rest of the audience, saying he usually ignores such things, but that “this was so egregious that I could not allow it.”
And a recent viral video from a violin concert in Prague shows another way of fighting back: When a cellphone rings, the annoyed violinist deftly picks up the tune and plays a few bars of it before switching back to the concerto.
Most of the time, though, we must content ourselves with an impotent whispered request — often ignored — or else face the daunting challenge of causing an even bigger public disruption than the phone hog.
“One of the great ironies of manners is that the people who enforce them often have worse manners than the initial violators,” says Henry Alford, author of the new etiquette book “Would It Kill You To Stop Doing That?”
Nevertheless, Alford is all in favor of combating the scourge of smartphone rudeness sweeping the nation. For inspiration, look to high-profile stage performers such as Hugh Jackman, Patti LuPone and Kevin Spacey, all of whom have stopped mid-show to chastise techno-rudeness. In May, Frances McDormand was at a pivotal moment in her Tony-winning performance in “Good People” when a cellphone rang — and its owner answered it. McDormand reportedly stopped, put her arm around her co-star and said, “Let’s wait.” Which she did, until the oblivious patron realized what she’d done and stashed the phone.
Occasionally, someone will take it to the next level. When hairdresser Wyatt Raymond took his visiting niece to a movie in Times Square, he says, “about five minutes into the movie, you hear someone talking on her cellphone. The guy in front of me stands up, looks for the person, sees her, and reaches over and closes her phone. She gets up and starts shouting, ‘You don’t do that! You don’t touch someone’s phone!’
“He waves her away and she picks up her very large soda and throws it at him. It didn’t actually hit him — it hit the guy next to him. Who grabs his soda and throws it at her!”
When all involved parties had been escorted into the lobby, the rest of the audience simply laughed it off, Raymond reports. But not all moviegoers are so forgiving.
“I think it’s really the theater’s responsibility. They should warn people on the first offense, and then on the second offense they should pull the person out by the ear and kick them in the ass, hard!” says one Manhattan movie publicist, who asked to remain anonymous.
The likelihood of having to deal with these disruptions in a movie for which you’ve paid upwards of $14, he suggests, is largely to blame for this year’s plummeting ticket sales ($500 million less than the previous year, and a 16-year low for the industry, reports Hollywood.com). “Why pay all that money to go to the movies when you can wait a couple of months to watch in the comfort of your own home?” says the publicist, whose livelihood depends on people not doing that.
So why aren’t more movie theaters following the example of the Alamo Drafthouse theaters in Texas, which famously boot patrons for texting or talking? This summer, they made one indignant woman’s angry voice mail into a public service announcement for the chain: “I’ve texted in all the other theaters in Austin, and no one ever gave a f - - k!” she rants in the spot, which concludes with a message: “Thanks for not coming back to the Alamo, texter!”
The viral video has obviously struck a chord with the public: it’s got nearly 2.5 million hits on YouTube. “We probably kick out about 100 people a year from our 10 locations,” says Alamo owner Tim League.
A spokesman for the AMC chain assures The Post that New York cinema managers “do periodically check auditoriums to make sure there’s no distracting texting going on,” though anyone who’s been to a show in Times Square lately may take issue with that assertion.
A spokeswoman for the Clearview Cinemas chain in New York, meanwhile, didn’t respond to our request for comment.
Broadway theaters and fine arts performance spaces always make announcements asking patrons to turn off their phones, but even this explicit instruction doesn’t seem to get through to everyone. At Lincoln Center Theater, “before the show begins and during intermission the ushers walk up and down the aisles asking everyone to be sure to turn off their electronic devices,” says spokesman Philip Rinaldi.
But many theater owners seem oblivious to just how deeply most patrons despise those little lap-lights. Exhibit A: the plan to have a block of “tweet seats” in select Broadway shows. The director of promotions for the current revival of “Godspell” has said the production intends to try out this idea.
The very thought makes Stephen Bienskie’s blood run cold.
The actor, who plays Buffalo Bill in the off-Broadway show “Silence! The Musical,” says he’s always stunned when patrons whip out their phones mid-performance, whether to text, talk or take pics.
Although Bienskie says he’s been known to stop mid-line and wait for a phone to stop ringing, there are some moments when it’s simply not possible to break character and yell at violators.
“I get to the end of the number and I reveal myself,” says Bienskie, who is seminude for a few seconds during the show, “and I see about 10 cellphones come up in the audience. How do you combat that?”
Still, Bienskie thinks the tide may be turning.
“People are starting to speak up,” he says.
“Audience members get as outraged as we do, and think nothing of turning to someone and saying, in so many words, to turn their phone off and have some respect. People will actually jump on them pretty quickly.”
Read more: http://trade.cc/adjj
Comments »LINEBACKER RAY LEWIS WITH SOME AWESOME PERSONAL FINANCE ADVICE
I Don’t Trust My Baby Mamawith My Money!
NFL superstar Ray Lewis admits he fathered an 11-year-old boy in Florida … and he’s totally willing to provide support — with one caveat … he doesn’t want the baby mama to get her hands on the money.
According to court documents filed in Florida, Lewis has an ongoing paternity case over his son with a woman named Sharnika Kelly. In court papers, Lewis acknowledges being the father, but the issue of support is slightly more contentious …
According to the docs, Lewis is hesitant to fork over money to Kelly because he says she has an outstanding judgment against her in a civil case … totaling over $1,000,000.
In the docs, Lewis says he has “grave concerns about the Mother’s character” and feels she’ll siphon off money meant for his son … either to pay off her debt or support her other child … not Ray’s.
Lewis is asking the court to establish a guardianship for his son to manage any support Lewis eventually pays.
The couple had a hearing scheduled for last month, but Lewis had to reschedule because he had a game in San Diego. The judge has yet to rule on his request.
{HILARIOUS VIDEO} AUSTRALIAN LAWMAKER HAS HERMAN CAIN SYNDROME!
(via NY POST)
CANBERRA, Australia — A senior Australian lawmaker was at the center of an embarrassing plagiarism gaffe Wednesday after he delivered a speech with lines taken straight out of the Michael Douglas movie “The American President.”
Federal Transport Minister Anthony Albanese’s stirring address to journalists at the National Press Club in Canberra was uncannily similar to a speech Douglas made in his role as US President in the romantic comedy.
“In Australia, we have serious challenges to solve, and we need serious people to solve them,” Labor Party lawmaker Albanese said Wednesday.
In the movie, Douglas’ character, Andrew Shepherd, tells a news conference at the White House, “We have serious problems to solve, and we need serious men to solve them.”
Albanese’s speech went on to attack the leader of the opposition, Tony Abbott.
“Unfortunately, Tony Abbott is not the least bit interested in fixing any of them. He’s only interested in two things — making Australians afraid of it and telling them who’s to blame for it.”
The rest of Douglas’ address in 1995 movie was, “And whatever your particular problem is, friend, I promise you, Bob Rumson is not the least bit interested in solving it. He is interested in two things and two things only: making you afraid of it and telling you who’s to blame for it.”
The similarity between the two speeches was spotted by Liberal Party federal director Brian Loughnane, who put a video of Albanese’s speech along with the scene from the movie on YouTube.
“I was going through the torture of watching [Albanese] at the Press Club, when suddenly I thought to myself — I’ve heard all this before,” Loughnane told Australian political website The Punch.
Read more: http://trade.cc/acsi
Comments »LOL: Watch the Texas Tech Bell Ringer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFxwOLbImcU
Comments »Jay-Z’s 40/40 Club Had 99 Problems and a Busted Fridge was Number 1
It was merely a case of bad luck that led to Jay-Z‘s 40/40 Club racking up a slew of health code violations … a rep for the club tells TMZ.
As we previously reported, the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene cited the club big time Thursday night for a litany of violations … which included several different instances of food being stored at improper temperatures.
But Ron Berkowitz, a rep for the club, tells TMZ the motor in one of the refrigeratorsblew just moments before the health inspector arrived … causing the temperature in the fridge to rise. Berkowtiz says the staff identified the problem immediately and had no intention of serving the food from that fridge.
Berkowitz says the fridge was fixed by noon the next day and the club was permitted to re-open.
He adds … the club lost no business as a result of the issue and their health code grade is currently pending review.
Comments »LOL: I’ll Manage Your Portfolio for a Standard Industry Fee of 1% per Year
PETA Wants to Set Up “Meat is Murder” Museum in O.J. Simpson’s House. True Story $JPM
PETA wants O.J. Simpson’s house.
Why?
To set up a “Meat Is Murder” museum, of course.
In a letter addressed to Jamie Dimon, JPMorgan Chase’s CEO, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals asked if the bank would either donate or sell the house to the animal rights group for a “nominal sum” once the bank completes the foreclosure it’s pursuing on Simpson’s home.
Ingrid Newkirk, PETA’s president, assured Dimon in the letter that if the organization is able to acquire the five-bedroom Kendall, Fla. home, it would put it to good use by turning it into a “Meat Is Murder” museum that would teach visitors that “nonviolence begins on our plates.”
A Chase (JPM, Fortune 500) spoksesman said the bank would not comment on the matter.
PETA said it chose Simpson’s home because the former football star actively endorsed the consumption of meat. Simpson, they said, was a spokesman for a chicken restaurant chain, owned two restaurants himself and held an ownership stake in several HoneyBaked Ham stores.
The organization said it was serious about its request.
O.J. Simpson faces foreclosure in Florida
“Hope springs eternal.” said Newkirk. “We said we wanted a building in Los Angeles a couple years ago and Bob Barker came up with $4 million to buy it.”
In addition to educating visitors about the treatment of animals used for meat, the museum would offer free samples of foods made from healthy, plant-based proteins, including veggie burgers and faux chicken.
“If they say yes, we’ll be working on the menu,” said Newkirk.
Simpson is currently serving a prison sentence of up to 33 years for a 2007 armed robbery and kidnapping in Nevada. According to a source familiar with the matter, he stopped making payments on his Florida home in 2010.
In November, his attorney filed a motion to dismiss the foreclosure proceedings. But the bank is moving forward with the action, the source said. 
{AWESOME PHOTOS} REAL-LIFE BEAVIS & BUTTHEAD
(via)
TV BUZZ This is what nightmares are made of, people! Special makeup effets artist Kevin Kirkpatrickmade these prosthetic models of Beavis and Butt-Head to show what the cartoon legends would look like in real life. The answer: Terrifying! (via Reddit)
LOL: Random Financial Advice Generator
Anonymous Goes On Revenge Spree – DoJ, FBI, RIAA, MPAA, and Universal Music Offline
Anonymous has sure been quiet lately, but today’s federal bust of Megauploadriled ’em up good: a retaliatory strike against DoJ.gov (and plenty of other foes) leaving them completely dead.
DownForEveryoneOrJustMe.com is reporting the department’s site as universally nuked, and an Anonymous-affiliated Twitter account is boasting success. This is almost certainly the result of a quickly-assembled DDoS attack—and easily the widest in scope and ferocity we’ve seen in some time. If you had any doubts Anonymous is still a hacker wrecking ball, doubt no more.
The combination of the hacking nebula’s SOPA animosity—they’ve been a vocal opponent of the bill since its inception—combined with today’s sudden Megaupload news has made the group bubble over: hundreds upon hundreds of Anon operatives are in a plotting frenzy, chatting about which site will go down next. In Anon’s eyes, the government and media interests are responsible for the undue destruction of Megaupload (and the arrest of four of its operators), so it’ll be exactly those entities that’re feeling the pain right now. Pretty much every company that makes movies, TV, or music, along with the entirety of the federal government, is in Anonymous’ crosshairs.
Read the rest here.
Comments »FLASH: Excerpts from Paula Deen’s New Health Food Cookbook
(via) (NOTE: This is satire)
Recently, Paula Deen has admitted that she’s had Type II Diabetes for years. Accordingly, she’s putting out a cookbook of healthy food. Here are some excerpts!
FRUIT SALAD
INGREDIENTS:
1 lb. bag of Skittles
3 cups ranch dressing
DIRECTIONS:
Mix well. Serve room temperature.
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PAULA’S BROWN RICE
INGREDIENTS:
1 pilaf white rice
1 bowl melted Junior Mints
DIRECTIONS:
Cover rice in chocolate. Serve with maple syrup to taste. To splurge, top with a sprinkle of sausage calzones.
–
SCRAMBLED EGG WHITES
INGREDIENTS:
1 dozen (12) Cadbury eggs
2 lbs. Frito crumbs
1 package extra-fat pork lard
1 pilaf Paula’s brown rice
DIRECTIONS:
Break the Cadbury eggs and harvest the crème-filled white centers. Dip them in the Frito crumbs. Put the lard (make SURE to get the extra-fat kind or it will be BLAND) in a frying pan on high heat, and fry the crème centers until golden-brown. Serve on a bed of Paula’s brown rice.
–
PAULA’S GARDEN BURGER
INGREDIENTS:
3 bags Olive Garden® Endless Breadsticks
12 Olive Garden® Stuffed Mushrooms
1 plate Olive Garden® New! Baked Pasta Romana with Chicken
4 Olive Garden® Black Tie Mousse Cakes
1 slice American cheese (optional)
DIRECTIONS:
Smash all of the Olive Garden® foods together until they resemble a large patty and top with cheese. For lowest calories, hold the cheese.
–
PAULA’S GUILT-FREE FAT-FREE® SMOOTHIE
INGREDIENTS:
34 lbs. sugar
DIRECTIONS:
Put sugar in smoothie glass and drink with straw, serve chilled in white wine tumblers or, for special occasions, lap from trough. This delicacy is guilt-free since you can make a conscious choice not to feel guilty about anything you put in your body like Paula does!
–
BUFFET AND A BURGER
INGREDIENTS:
1 burger
1 Las Vegas buffet
Christmas-themed elastic pants (optional)
DIRECTIONS:
Go to Las Vegas buffet. Make sure the buffet has burgers, or provide your own. Do NOT walk around the buffet. Get a motorized scooter, or stay in one spot and use a jaws of life to pick some of each buffet food out of the tubs and put it on your burger. Elastic pants are nice because your gupa (gunt-fupa) stays nicely inside the stretchy pants except for a few folds of fat with stretch marks that seep out of the pants.
–
PAULA’S GUILT-FREE® PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLIES
INGREDIENTS:
1 peanut
18 sticks of butter, mashed
1 pair Jellies shoes
DIRECTIONS:
Cover the shoes with butter and top with the peanut, and then eat the shoes. If you eat shoes it’s like you’re exercising so it’s VERY healthy.
–
PAULA’S GUILT-FREE® PIZZA PANTS
INGREDIENTS:
10’x20’ swath of pizza
Another pizza to use as pepperonis on the pizza
Stuffed mushrooms
FYI the mushrooms are stuffed with smaller pizzas
Smuckers magic shell ice cream topping
Rolos
Coca-cola
3 bags gummy bears
Fondue
Caesar salad dressing
Wood chips (as a thickener)
Grenadine syrup
Butter-flour mixture
Pizza Pockets
1 sewing machine
1 sewing pattern for pants (size XXXL)
DIRECTIONS:
Mushrooms are a vegetable and there are definitely some mushrooms on that pizza so technically they are HEALTHY-style pizza pants. Take the really big pizza. Put all of the other ingredients on the pizza. Pour the coke on the pizza. Dip the pizza in the fondue, and resist eating it before you make it into pants, no cheating!!! Sew that pizza into pants using the machine and the pattern. Make sure to sew in some pockets so you can keep a few extra spare Pizza Pockets in your pizza pockets!!!! Then eat your pants!!!!!!!!!!!
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PAULA’S GUILT-FREE® TURTURTURDUCKDUCKENDUCKEN
INGREDIENTS:
3 turduckens
DIRECTIONS:
Stuff a turducken in a turducken in a turducken. While you’re waiting for it to cook, make your fat niece make you some pizza pants while you’re watching Pawn Stars and eat your pants and then slap your niece.
–
INSULIN AU GRATIN
INGREDIENTS:
1 insulin shot
15 lbs. block of cheddar cheese
DIRECTIONS:
Bury insulin shot in cheese. When you’re going into a diabetic coma, just eat your way to the shot!! Eat the cheese fast or you’ll die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
–
SPARKLING WATER
INGREDIENTS:
1 glass sparkling water
1 ham
DIRECTIONS:
Put ham in water.
Comments »{PHOTO} Old Man Buffett Goes Big Pimpin’ with Jay-Z
81-year-old Warren Buffett — one of he richest men on the planet — got downright gangsta at the grand reopening of Jay Z’s 40/40 nightclub in NYC last night … throwin’ up the Roc-a-Fella sign … like a boss.
It was the first time Jay’s been out in public since the birth of his daughter Blue Ivy — though Beyonce and B.I. didn’t make it out to the party.
Jay and Buffett have been friends for years — and appeared on the cover of Forbes together back in 2010.
Joe Biden Steps Up His Gaffe Game for the NFL Playoffs
An earlier Biden gaffe, asking a man in a wheelchair to stand up
Vice President Joe Biden had his “oops” moment Wednesday speaking in a 49er-crazed San Francisco when he told a crowd at a city political fundraiser that “the Giants are on their way to the Super Bowl.”
Biden spoke at a closed event in the city’s financial District at the Bently Reserve when he made the gaffe, according to a White House pool report released today.
The comment by Biden drew immediate “good-natured” boos from the crowd, according to the report by Josh Richman of the Oakland Tribune, who was the only local print reporter allowed to cover the event.
After suggesting that the Giants were heading to the Super Bowl, Biden quickly recognized the gaffe and and explained he was accustomed to thinking in terms of the San Francisco Giants and their baseball wins. His next reference was to the “49ers on their way” to the Big Game.
Richman reported he was ushered out of the fundraiser after Biden started taking a few questions from the audience of about 110 campaign contributors. “The event raised somewhere between $275,000 and $1.1 million,” according to his report.
The event was one of several stops Biden and his wife made in the Bay Area today.
Biden plans to meet this evening with local tech leaders, including the heads of Apple, Google, Yahoo, Netflix and Zynga, but those meetings are not open to the media, the White House said.
Comments »Bill Clinton De-Balls Newt Gingrich
Bill Clinton, the original “comeback kid” doesn’t see much hope for a resurgence by Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich, dissing him in a new interview as a Romney clone because of issues the former speaker has flip-flopped on.
Clinton, who is on the cover of the upcoming issue of Esquire, puts down the speaker who has bragged on the campaign trail of how he worked with Clinton to reform welfare and balance the budget.[Check out the latest political cartoons.]
Clinton doesn’t giving any love back. In an excerpt provided to Whispers, the former president says, “As a private citizen he was for certain important health-care reforms and believed in climate change and believed there had to be a strong reaction to it. And now he’s just like Romney. Neither one of them can say what they believe to be true and get nominated. Romney’s still trying to figure out what he did as governor of Massachusetts and still appeal to this driving vituperative energy.”
Bubba also takes a shot at the GOP culture, charging that the Republican side of aisle has given up any pretence of moderation and bipartisanship. His key example is how Jon Huntsman was run out of the Republican primaries because voters saw him as a moderate and didn’t respond well to his work as PresidentObama’s ambassador to China.
“Huntsman’s economic record — and his positions on the abortion issue and other things — is every bit as conservative and considerably more consistent than the two front-runners. But he also doesn’t make any bones about being willing to work with people and thinking you ought to put your country first. When the president asks you to serve — to go to China, and you speak Mandarin Chinese and you think you can help American business and America’s national strategic interest by doing it — you do it.”
“But all of a sudden that’s disqualifying. So I think that it shows you, we’re, you know, we’re living in a time when the Republicans have only pushed harder and harder to the right. And every time the president adopts a plan that they once advocated, they abandon it and push farther to the right. But the voters can push them back.”
Comments »Marky Mark is a Douchey Douche
Mark Wahlberg claims he could have done what hundreds of other doomed passengers couldn’t … fought off the multiple 9/11 hijackers and saved Flight 93.
Wahlberg just gave an interview with Men’s Journal … in which he states, “If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.'”
So the question … is Wahlberg’s braggadocio insulting to the dead passengers and their families?
Comments »Defying Logic
So you think the market is defying logic ? Bank earnings were going to kill the market right ? The falling Euro was going to muck everything up. Not even EFSF and Sovereign debt downgrades can bring this levered game down. Now there pitching a Greek default is priced in.
Be prepared for a 200 point rally in your bear faccia. 1320 S&P is close……
I covered last week when the market gave me a chance down 150 intra-day closing down 48ish….Still holding ERY though; down a buck. Slowly selling long positions to get back to mostly cash.
YOUR FUCKING DEAD !
[youtube://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sv5PeJHBpuA 450 300]Comments »
Gold Bugs Get Freaky to Smuggle
SEOUL, South Korea – South Korean customs officials say they have arrested eight men over a scheme to allegedly smuggle gold out of the country by hiding it in their rectums.
The Korea Customs Service said Monday the men allegedly transformed $260,000 in gold bars into small beads and smuggled them in their rectums to Japan two times in 2010 to avoid import taxes.
South Korea says Japanese custom officials caught the men on their second attempt and sent them home after imposing fines. Later, one of the suspects allegedly orchestrated an unsuccessful bid to smuggle gold bars from Mongolia to Hong Kong using a similar method.
Meanwhile, South Korean officials gathered evidence against them at home. They say the suspects recently admitted to the smuggling after initial denials.
Read more: http://trade.cc/zto
