John Paulson caught stealing cable

The billionaire investor was discovered stealing his cable today, after unusual request activity from his home prompted the company to investigate.

Comcast showed up to Mr. Paulson’s home around 1pm, where they found a multitude of wires crudely tapped into their fiber optic lines, and running back to Paulson’s mansion.

When confronted, Mr. Paulson refused to go into detail, saying only “with rates that high, they deserve to be robbed.”

“We’ll leave it up to the courts,” he added, before escaping the reporter.

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