One of the perks of writing a blog for iBankCoin.com is that they are savvy Internet Marketers who understand the power of social media in driving traffic to this website. When I post, two tweets from two separate accounts are instantly generated, along with a Facebook mention and link-back if I so desire.
That is the power of search engines and, by extension, the power of Twitter. It works out well for me, it works out well for this website. But I fail to see how Twitter benefits from this since Twitter is the only thing that derives no benefit from the exercise. Twitter does not make a fucking dime when I post on iBankCoin.com. I am at a loss as to how this company can ever make money unless they can somehow come up with a way to inject serious advertising into the mix. And there’s the rub…you dump forced advertising into the act of tweeting and you could easily blow up the entire business model.
I have had a Twitter account for a few years. Until I started blogging here, I did not give two fucks about Twitter and never used it much at all. I have since gained some Followers, however, which gives me a tiny ounce of satisfaction even though I comprehend that blogging for this site gives me a degree of legitimacy that I would never, ever achieve on my own.
Which brings me to this guy:
This right here. This is TJ, who for lack of a better term, is a Professional Twit. You obtain this dubious honor by essentially living your life posting and responding to short messages filled with hashtags that refer to other short messages filled with hashtags. Hundreds, if not thousands of them daily. If you need to know, his Twitter Handle is @amazingatheist. The Maven is not here solely to belittle this worthless fucktard. I have things to do today, important things. I cannot spend all day on the Interwebs jabbering with nerds on Twitter.
The Twitter Profile reads Brutally Provocative YouTuber, writer of books, ranter, podcaster, excessive blatherer of unsolicited opinions, greatest human ever, etc.
Impressive résumé. And the motorcycle (scooter?) jacket with the upturned collar is very Andrew Dice Clay. Nice touch. The guy apparently also has a problem with feminists, and I would imagine it has been one helluva long time since he got laid without money changing hands.
You then may be wondering, Dear Reader, why I am publicly shaming the Amazing Atheist. It is only one fool on Twitter, Maven. Move on. Well then we have come full circle, back to the headline. I will begin with the tweet that started it all:
TJ @amazingatheist – I let out some massive farts just now. It’s too bad the #whiteguysfartinginmyfacematters guy wasn’t here. He’d have been blown away.
After wondering why I had followed this guy in the first place, I quickly dashed off a response on the order of “Get out of my Feed, you fat clown”. A response quickly followed, calling me a “faggott” (sic) and other unseemly things too delicate for your eyes, Dear Reader. Trust me, I have been called much worse by much better men than you, son.
Then the shitstorm hit. Suddenly my Twitter feed was filling up with Notifications. People I do not know began slandering my Good Name with vicious smears. My favorite was “Go pick up your fuckboy bible that you left on the doorstep”. I do not know what that means, but it did make me curious, so I went to the page of the Amazing Atheist. 83,400 Followers! The twisted remnants of the Andrew Dice Clay Fan Club have apparently found a new home, and tweets containing “@amazingatheist” and “@thomasjeffrson” (my handle) began escalating wildly. I quickly learned how to block someone – the Amazing One becomes my first Blocked Twit – and the shitstorm ceased immediately.
This is probably getting boring, so I will finish with this:
Imagine trying to use Twitter as a business tool, and one of your employees does something stupid (as I did), and offends the gentle sensibilities and ego of a Professional Twit. The resulting damage could literally fuck you up. You would have to hire a full-time employe just to monitor things, and he/she would have to be on the clock 24×7. There is no legitimate reason to even bother with this. Put the budgeted social media money into Facebook instead. Twitter is worthless nonsense that will never turn a profit. Short the stock until it dies. And Amazing Atheist, for fuck’s sake, get a job.