iBankCoin
Joined Dec 1, 2015
135 Blog Posts
@JeffMacke

Bat-Damned: A Portent of Doom Is Confirmed

Yesterday I said Amazon’s chart was forming a “Brooding Affleck Batman; the worst kind!“.

Because this is the Internet someone had to take this the wrong way and start whining. In this case that was awesome because what the person was upset about had nothing to do with Amazon or stocks at all. @Hero_Spin on Twitter was upset at me for besmirching the reputation of the upcoming Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice movie.

Screen Shot 2016-01-30 at 11.52.52 AM

 

This gave me the rare opportunity to mix film and stocks while using my basso profondo “I’m Batman” hiss for the voice of my inner monologue. I was an accidental film studies and Psych dual major in college. I unwittingly took all the required electives required for a degree, just because I love movies.

I also happen to already have a theory about the length of Batman’s ears and the economy.

@Hero_Spin tugged on the wrong guy’s cape, is what I’m saying.

First I’ll pre-review the film then I”ll share single most important scientific discovery since Calculus: the Batman Ear Indicator.

The Movie

Screen Shot 2016-01-30 at 11.56.49 AM

Screw Superman. Just as a blanket statement. No one likes him. And enough with the Nazi Propaganda visuals. This is a comic book movie. It shouldn’t have the same score as Schindler’s List. Based on the trailers, DC’s twist on the Avengers was to take out the jokes but keep the training staff and pharmacists.

image

No judgements. He looks great. Affleck’s real Batman body looks like the suit they made George Clooney wear. Ben looks like a professional wrestler delivering a promo in the cuts of him as Bruce Wayne. I’m good with that but let us be clear: ┬áThe only way a guy in his 40s can replace 30lbs of dad body with muscle is through both insanely hard work and a wife suffering from human growth hormone deficiency. Finding a Low-T friendly doctor would help as well.

I love Affleck’s movies, for the most part. He’s somehow underrated despite a monster career. But this isn’t his movie. He shares it with Superman and Wonder Woman and the guy who played Zuckerberg and who knows what else. This thing has train-wreck written all over it.

Oh, I’ll go see Ben Affleck as Batman in this ponderous, overwrought piece of garbage, @Hero_Spin. I’ll probably even enjoy it. But don’t tell me it’s good.

Which brings me to the theory:

The Length of Batman’s Ears is Correlated to Future Stock Market Returns

Art reflects the values of the generation that produces it. Just as we build the most garish buildings during times of peak mania, the super heroes which resonate with an era express the values and desires of their day. Batman’s ears are the mercury in phallic thermometers measuring the heat of our national ambition. They are economic indicators.

Which broadly fits if you work backwards from the 1960’s being the nadir of recent existence for both America and Batman. Vietnam. Race riots. Assassinations. And, starting in 1966 just in time for a bear market, the world was introduced to this:

Screen Shot 2016-01-30 at 12.36.38 PM

 

Stocks fell 22% over 8 wrenching months.

This morning my son and I watched Keaton Batman while I calculated the length of every major television and cinematic Batman’s ears, relative to his skull. I then ran stock market returns during each of the 5-distinct Batman reigns.

As it turns out, the Batman Ear Length Indicator is a balls-on stock market tell for 80 years. The longer Batman’s ears are the better the stock market during the period. Note I’m not talking art. Just size. The most bullish Batman was Joel Schumacher’s nipped Clooney / Kilmer outfits, with their ears like stout Viking horns. Perfect for a run of 30% CAGR in Bill Clinton’s America.

That’s not a trading call. Trading based on Batman’s ears would be insane. Yet it is fact. It’s also fact that Batman vs. Superman hits theaters March 25th. Do with that information what you will.

Screen Shot 2016-01-30 at 12.39.20 PM

 

If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

13 comments

  1. gapfiller

    I couldn’t take the time to read all of this, but what an effort.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • JeffMacke

      Tightened it up for you and the world, gap filler. Down the core elements: batman v superman is going to suck and Batman ears are the most reliable economic indicator ever discovered by man.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  2. probucks

    is my tinfoil hat on properly?

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  3. braveflaps

    Macke, you are the King.

    Perhaps the Batman Ear indicator can also predict elections??

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • JeffMacke

      Presidential elections are only the beginning. It may explain dark matter. Just a matter of working with it…

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  4. moosh

    1966 batman didn’t give a shit. Wow. Light blue drawn on eyebrows with a bow tie trashbag cape. The ears are probably the most accurate. Great analogy

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  5. rormilt

    Love your posts. Awesome stuff!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  6. blahblahblah

    ben affleck market timer

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • JeffMacke

      He got kicked out of the Hard Rock for counting cards. Very smart, talented guy

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  7. big bear

    I have enjoyed your posts tremendously and have learned a bunch since you started blogging on iBankCoin. I truly hope you will maintain an active presence on this site. Great insight and delivery.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"