iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
22,035 Blog Posts

Get Your Lists And Cocks Ready

Dow futures have turned negative 100+ now and the orient is being lit the fuck up, as the NIKKEI swoons lower and we await to see how low the Hang Seng can go tonight. We’re all dreadfully pessimistic now, which is part and parcel of living in the most abhorrent timeline since the 1860s. Ergo, and this goes without saying, you should prepare to have your lists ready and your cocks — for these squalls do not last forever and the snap back will cut off the heads of so many people leaning sideways out the car — joyriding their shorts lower.

I do not know what the catalyst will be — but once the worm turns the momentum will quickly shift to the upside and then a panic buying frenzy will take hold.The game is never different and I have traded through these son of a bitch whore markets ever since I passed my series 7 exam back in 1997.

I am presently positioned like a coward in Campbell’s Soup and utilities — because I’ve been beaten up around the face and gums — punched one too many times and I’d rather try to keep my teeth if I could do so. However, when we capitulate, and this is important to time, I will have to allocate into the very WORST performing stocks known to man — the one’s you laugh at when glancing upon your lists.

The fact of the matter is: small caps are down an astounding 54% from their 52 week highs — because Jim Biden is a catamite son of a bitch with a crack head son. Also Cathy Wood’s ARKK is -37% and I have a whole god damned list of names down 75%+ — mostly from China, since they’re no longer interested in capitalism.

This is all happening fast and out from nowhere and I’ve avoided all of the carnage up until this past month. I must be careful not to rout myself any further, while at the same time attempt to buy the blood like a true vampire in true ribald fashion in order to ascend back to levels from which I deserve to rarify myself in.

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17 comments

  1. purdy

    It’s different this time.

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  2. roguewave

    Tear it up!
    I’m not nearly nimble enough to play that game.
    Easier for me just sitting in crypto.

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  3. fxtradepro

    The most well hedged, well orchestrated market correction ever? Best believe big titted Madame Speaker will be on the horn with her Goldman broker first thing tomorrow morning. On another note, took a trip to Costco this evening, and asked a gentleman politely for help, and was refused because I wasn’t wearing a meh…mask. So this is how we treat each other nowadays. Go back to your miserable life you f$ck stick.

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  4. bob smith

    “small caps are down an astounding 54% from their 52 week highs”

    Where? In China? USA small caps are down 6% from highs but are heading much, much lower. First target is your hyperbole-mentioned ~ 50% down.

    Bounces along the way, but we are heading south. The action junkies among us might want to play those bounces/crashes but I’m a finer gentleman than that.

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  5. Mr. Cain Thaler

    Yields -> up
    Energy prices -> up
    Food prices -> up
    Equities -> down

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    • edge

      Hedge funds piled into energy. The piling out will start shortly I would guess.
      So far a quite uninspiring tape.

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  6. Mr. Cain Thaler

    This entire stretch of market price action is way may amusing if you think of bond yields as Snidley Whiplash and T.I.N.A. as an actual blonde he’s trying to the railroad tracks.

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  7. Mr. Cain Thaler

    Natural gas prices closing in on levels unseen since the US fracking boom.

    Think about that…

    These assholes have managed to erase the consumers benefit of a once in a century technological revolution in the span of a decade. How can our nation survive under the rule of people this stupid?

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  8. edge

    Big Tech getting the kind of attention it doesn’t want. Voters on the left and right hating on it.

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    • edge

      Banks are interesting. Could rise on interest rates or fall on a bad economy.
      Good setup for a straddle if the VIX pulls back.

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  9. edge

    JNK trying to break trend but it’s early.

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