Xmas, Prisoner Release, Trade War Wins, Bottoming Pin Action — Markets Set to Surge Again

We’re very good at surging in the morning. While we might give it all up in a few hours hence, it’ll be worth it entirely. This morning we are entreated to a pastiche of positive news. Since you don’t read or write in any respectable manner, I will tell you exactly what is transpiring now.

1. Xmas is within a fortnight of happening. Santa Claus is gonna swoop in down your chimney and inverse burglarize your homes. The kids will love it and will even entice him and his animals to cavort your living room by leaving him cookies and milk.

2. The thug from Huawei was released on bail last night, only after having to give in to 12 Royal court demands, including $10 million and obtaining permanent residence in Canada. Her job as CFO of one of the largest tech companies in the world has ended. Go in peace. Her extradition trial is scheduled for a few months from now, after which she will be greyhounded into NY in shackles to live out the rest of her days as an inmate.

3. It appears discussions with China over the ongoing trade war are going well. America is winning again and those damned Chinese are going to pay, alongside the Mexicans.

4. Since we went down so much recently, it only makes sense that we now trade higher. There’s a litany of concerns about the market; but none of that matters now. The Fed is going to stop meddling and MUH bull market, and BIG wins, and BIG ass tax cuts and orders of magnitude of things of that nature.

Trade in peace, young Prince.