iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
18,593 Blog Posts

MARKETS EJACULATE ALL OVER THE BEARS — CURB STOMPED SESSIONS, HILLARY IS GOING TO JAIL

What a glorious day. See how much better I am than you, as far as investments are concerned? I’m probably a better writer, faster reader, cook, cocktail maker, joke teller, and have a better sense of fashion too. But that’s as far as I’ll go. I lost my hair a decade ago and that was really sad; but now I don’t give a shit. People ask me, ‘Fly, if they cured baldness, would you slap some hair on that there cue ball of yours?’

The answer is, inexorably, no. Fuck hair and fuck your shampoo. That shit has cancer in it. I wash may head with god damned soap, a big old bastard bar of soap. I’m not at the shave your head baldness yet, as I like to pretend there’s still something there to maintain. But I don’t use no god damned shampoo.

My TLRY is +22 points from this morning. None of you can hold a candle to me, zero.

That being said, I’m here to help, your stock monkey who toils away at the hot laptop spitting out outrageous stock picks for absolutely no reason at all.

In other news, Sessions is gone. Good news for Hillary haters. Finally, that bitch can find herself into a prison cell. Thank God. Also, maybe Trump has Mueller arrested too?

Remember who called this shit, you ingrates.

Good times!

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23 comments

  1. bronze28

    ALL HAIL THE FLY!!!!

    ANOTHER TIP OF THE HAT…

    LOCK HER UP; LOCK HER UP; LOCK HER UP.

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  2. numbersgame

    Damn, that was one hell of a call on TLRY.

    “In other news, Sessions is gone.” Actually, that is the primary reason TLRY spiked

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  3. it is showtime

    The game of chicken is back on.

    ticktock

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  4. wolfdaddy

    Probably good that your hair fell out. I’m guessing it was orange

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  5. soupbone

    The gloves are down and Trump is first in. This is where orange turns to grey though, this will wear him down.

    Rates are going up and P/E’s down. Still, a few saying go to global equities but my recollection is they get fucked over worse.

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  6. acehood

    SQ down

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    • Dr. Fly

      Fucking Jack. He had ONE job, well actually two. But still…

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    • chuck bennett

      Hardly down , SQ to the fucking moon

      Regards

      Chuck Bennett

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      • numbersgame

        SQ is crap. There is an easy tell: Citigroup upgraded SQ on Nov 6, **a day before** earnings. There is only two ways to view this:

        1) Citigroup, being the typical altruistic Wall Street bank, wanted peopel to know how good the stock was so that Reatil Joe could share in the profits. Always believe sell-side analysts that offer their advice for free.

        2) Citigroup knew SQ earnings would be mixed at best (probably because they had inside info) and they wanted to telegraph that SQ should be bought regardless, probably either so that they could unload it or so that it wouldn’t interfere with the bear-market rally.

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        • chuck bennett

          So what does that have to do with SQ?

          Regards

          Chuck Bennett

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          • numbersgame

            That the earnings isn’t likely going to be good news.

            I will be honest: I have not looked into any of SQ’s financials, their earnings, or even their chart. I’m just basing my view strictly on the trust-worthiness of analysts. If you want to hold SQ for the long term, go for it.

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          • chuck bennett

            Yeah.

            I expected conservative numbers

            Regards

            Chuck Bennett

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  7. wolfdaddy

    Hubs is going to ejaculate all over the shorts tomorrow

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  8. heckler

    Anyway been nibbling on crypto coins since they gone quite? I’ve been nibbling on ETH for a couple months but I just noticed that BCH is making some moves lately. That coin guy that used to blog here was super big on BCH….

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    • numbersgame

      BCH and Bitcoin cash have a fundamental flaw for a currency: the more you use it, the more expensive transactions become. Also, they are not really decentralized because a limtied number of Chinese (#TotallyTrustworthy) players process almost all the transactions.

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      • heckler

        So what is your thesis?

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        • numbersgame

          I’m not deep into that market. I read a few white papers, but nothing that stands out.

          If you asked me what car you should buy, I couldn’t answer that, either, but BCH is like a gasoline-powered car with a permanently-sealed gas tank.

          Or maybe it’s like an iPhone: really popular with niec features, but you know eventually the battery won’t hold a charge and you’ll have to send it in for replacement.

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  9. heckler

    You’re a bear!

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  10. ironbird

    Black Gold over Tech faggots. The reckoning is coming.

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    • juice

      Black gold is in, white gold out, in this era of social justice warriorism gone wild. I’m surprised, shocked and saddened to learn the ironbird has joined the crazies.

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