iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,411 Blog Posts

IBM TO THE RESCUE; NASDAQ FUTURES SURGE

IBM is going to acquire those edgy rebels at RHT, for $190 per share or $34 billion. As such, Nasdaq futures are +75 and everyone is jerking off to the idea that IBM is going to save the country from harrowing stock market losses.

This could, perhaps, be the only way to save us from crashing lower.

Good old IBM will keep on buying companies for massive premiums in order to keep the rally going. The good times must continue and IBM is just the company we need, at this time, to bail out fledgling companies with asinine business models — such as RHT.

Cheers!

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16 comments

  1. dae42

    I credit dimwits who buy 3x inverse ETFs into the hole. Rescue secured.

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    • Dr. Fly

      Which hole? There were so many holes the past month.

      Using that logic, I suppose the market fell because dimwits bought upside ETFs into the rally, eh?

      You must be canadian.

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  2. ironbird

    Strange look. Rosie and John Wayne had a daughter.

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  3. rangersfan

    IBM is a dead, if not dying company. i think RHT bought IBM

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    • Lyndon Keltner

      To apply an election season anecdote, counting on IBM to save the market is like counting on John Kerry to dodge/deflect a swiftboat of fecal falsehoods.

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  4. s.k.

    There were all sorts of crazy M&A in 2007 as well.

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  5. asteroids

    Red Hat 7 is NOT UNIX. It’s NOT LINUX. IBM repeats the OS/2 disaster.

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  6. heckler

    Is there any way we can totally fuck China and still win bc that’s what I want

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