iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
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FUCKING SPACE FORCE LAUNCHED — AMERICA WILL RULE THE UNIVERSE SOON

I’ve been waiting for this moment my entire life — the Space Force branch of the military — because conquering planet earth simply isn’t enough. Many generations from now, the world will harken back to this period when the military apparatus of the US started a unit for outer space, designed to attack other planets. All of the movies we’ve seen about evil alien races laying waste of Earth was actually a foreshadowing of what we’re going to do to other planets.

We are an evil people, a dark, insidious, force to be reckoned with. You know for damned sure, if there was a gigantic surplus of oil on some shit-panned planet out there — our fucking ‘space force’ would annihilate the people on it — dubbing them as ‘space terrorists’ and then take it all.

Here’s a text of Trump discussing this new bold initiative.

“My administration is reclaiming America’s heritage as the world’s greatest space-faring nation,” Trump said in the East Room, joined by members of his space council. “The essence of the American character is to explore new horizons and to tame new frontiers.”

Trump had previously suggested the possibility of creating a space unit that would include portions equivalent to parts of the air force, army and navy. But his directive will task the Defence Department to begin the process of establishing the “space force” as the sixth branch of the U.S. armed forces.

“When it comes to defending America, it is not enough to merely have an American presence in space. We must have American dominance in space,” Trump said. He added: “We are going to have the Air Force and we are going to have the space force, separate but equal.”

Turning to seek out Dunford, Trump said, “General Dunford, if you would carry that assignment out, I would be very greatly honoured also … Where’s General Dunford? General? Got it?”

Dunford appeared to acknowledge the order, responding, “we got it.” But the directive seemed to take defence officials by surprise. Creating a new joint military command is largely the purview of Congress, which would have to provide the authority and any funding or shifting of money to a new unit.

This is exactly what I voted for — a space force that could invade the moon and bring back cheap healthcare expenses and a wall to keep out lawnmowers.

In other news, which space stocks do you like for this endeavor? LMT, RTN, AJDA, VSAT, LORL, ATRO?

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3 comments

  1. natehois

    $LMT, of course… a main component of my hugely successful NEEDLEDICK portfolio.

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    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  2. 'merica

    TSLA space patrol cars, funding secured.

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    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  3. probucks

    “Space terrorists” Bhaahaha. i’m dead

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    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"

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