18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
18,966 Blog Posts

The Trade Wars Have Abated — Buy Stocks

Starbucks said they’re going to eliminate the use of plastic straws by 2020 — in order to become environmentally friendly and all. I get it. But why can’t they make straws out of wood? How do they expect small children and adult women to drink their whipped cream topped beverages? The more you look at the lunacy taking place inside SBUX, coupled with the stiff competition from local baristas, the more one could envision a stark future for this idiot company.

Nasdaq futures are +40 and I am going to buy some stocks this morning. I’m not certain what those stocks might be — but I know I’m going to buy them.

Over the weekend I cooked some Korean BBQ with sticky rice, drank about a dozen gimlets, half dozen dirty martinis, and about 20 gallons of coffee. I’m all ready and revved up for a week of pure profit.

Enough of the chit-chat, go get ready for the opening tick you fucking faggots.

If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

One comment

  1. teslawasright

    The glass straw should abound.

    Fly – I’m thinking you could grab a six’er of Busch bottles for the upcoming Thursday or Friday evening. Best beer ever bottled. This post stroll with the coyote and perhaps a saunter in the world of the pipe with cherry tobacco. Indeud!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"