Sorry to Interrupt Your Foolsball Games: Futures Are Lower and Cryptos Are Being Murdered

Living just 40 minutes from Philadelphia was a culture shock for me when I first moved here. All of the locals are Philly fans, teams that, as a New Yorker, I’ve always deemed to be evil. As the years went on, I began tolerating them and now even root for the Eagles. Let’s make one thing abundantly clear, I do not bother to sit down and physically watch fools ball games — for I am too busy for that. I merely listen to the scores when they’re announced on the radio, on my preferred classical music station, and offer a slight, but generous, nod, spiritually congratulating them on continued success.

Moving on, cryptos are getting murdered again and I truly hope this is the end of the investment class. While it’s true, I own some shitcoins and truly enjoy trading them. However, they’re a blight on my mode of living. I cannot keep trading 23 hrs per day and expect to enjoy my winnings, to any large degree. Once the cryptos have been wiped out and all of the little traders disintegrated into dust, the world will be a better place.

Dow futures are off by 53 and oil is flat. The government has shut down and Tom Brady is still the best quarterback to have ever donned a fools ball jersey.