iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,430 Blog Posts

My Endorsement For New Tabbed Blogger

Chuck Bennett is a friend of mine and he comes with a package deal, being friends with “The Devil.” As clever as Chuck is at obtaining insanely accurate stock market calls, will he be a productive blogger? You have to ask yourself that question, gentlemen, when voting tomorrow.

Rhino is a work horse and does have a certain following behind him. But will he crack under pressure, the pressure of the big stage, once he is relied upon to deliver quality picks on a daily basis? Or will he go “John Rambo” on his effeminate city and end up in prison?

Clearly Raul is mentally disturbed. But he seems to have good work ethic, with thought provoking posts, even if they’re filled with shit pertaining to charts.

DCHsn6 is a spy with orders to disrupt the social fabric of iBankCoin (trust me). A vote for him is clearly a vote against the flourishing democratic dictatorship taking place here on a daily basis.

Truth be told, Elizamae is one of my favorite Blogger Network reads. His work is professional grade, even though he is a lowly traffic guard.

And then we have Maximus. I don’t know a God damned thing about this man. He hasn’t really campaigned against his peers, claiming to be “in bed, shitting, with the diarrhea.” I can’t speak to that. But he did make a nice campaign video, one that warrants attention because iBankCoin is always in the market for people with technical skills. After all, Chuck is great at being a sociopath. Rhino is great at killing people. RAUL is great at eating the brains of monkeys. DCHsn6 is a competent double agent, provocateur extraordinaire. Elizame is well adept at helping 5 years olds cross busy intersections. And Maximus, the underdog, makes hollywood quality videos.

As always, “The Fly” endorses the absurd and superfluous. Therefore, I vote for Maximus, despite the fact that his writing skills are exactly on a 5th grade level, according to The iBankCoin writing assessment analyzer (TiWAA).

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49 comments

  1. Rhino

    Hey, fuck you very much. Pressure, motherfucker I thrive under pressure. That’s when I am at my absolute best.

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  2. PistolPETEY

    As a disenfranchised member of the Blogger Network, I’ll be staying at home on voting day. You’re all heathens, unfit to be ensconced in the decadence that comes along with being a tabbed blogger on IBC. In the famous words of the Great Chariman, “I’ll get you bitches. One day, you’ll see.” When you’re printing sub 1% traffic stats, I will swoop in and topple your houses.

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  3. TraderCaddy

    From an earlier post-
    Throwing my vote for Raul3.
    Most of the candidates write well enough but Raul3 is the only one (elizamae on occasion has, also) who has attempted to communicate with us non-PPT types.
    The PPT crowd will split their vote, however, if we non-PPT types stick together as a bloc and all vote for Raul3 all the way to the end we can turn this election on it’s head (remember Dewey-Truman).
    Let’s get some respect here and vote for Raul3

    Raul3 For Thee.

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    • The Fly

      So Raul is the anti-PPT candidate?

      Fantastic.

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      • TraderCaddy

        No, but he is the only one besides Elizamae (I too was a school crossing guard in 5th grade and recall turning my brother in for saying a bad word) who bothers to post in the “regular” iBC comment section.
        Chuck a/k/a Devils Advocate does on occasion but usually to tell us we are assholes (his style,I guess).
        Raul3 is one of the people and for the people. Charts aren’t everything, as you know (don’t recall you ever referring to T/A on a chart,except cock and balls, of course).

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        • elizamae

          FWIW, if there was a “tabbed commenter election” you would receive my vote(s).

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          • TraderCaddy

            Thanks for the kind comment, although I am not sure what FWIW means (something to do with world wide wrestling)?

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          • elizamae

            “For what it’s worth”

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          • Sherrif Joe

            Birth Certificates must be registered with me prior to inauguration. Only Official Kenyan birth certificates will be accepted.

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  4. wilmer

    Raul3 earned my vote with his fantastically deranged video. I know nothing of him beyond that.

    However, I’m tempted to throw a sympathy vote to Rhino in the final election. He has so desperately wanted the position for a while now. He probably deserves a shot at tabbed blogger.

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  5. elizamae

    Thanks.

    Ultimately I was in this to show traffic guards everywhere that if they try hard enough, anything is possible!

    Alas, unless the unwashed have a sudden epiphany along the lines of: “holy shit, this “ElizaMae” actually writes more than 2 fucking paragraphs and uses proper grammar, maybe I’d like to read more”…things are looking quite bleak.

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  6. Testicules

    Anyone can throw a fucking dart at a wall of stock symbols and pluck a winner….and if it isn’t a winner today…well….we just buy into it again a lower price.
    LOOK MOM,
    I’m WINNING!!

    HORSE SHIT

    For 3% traffic you all will have to do much better than “get lucky” 50% of the time, or at least be clever enough to not be so FUCKING OBVIOUS

    and you were right on r2d2…Didn’t notice that for a day or so after

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  7. DJMarcus

    these vids are awesome.

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  8. Bottle Rocket

    How about having the candidates give their top pick from now until election day?

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  9. Super PAC For Maximus
    Super PAC For Maximus

    We will be financially backing Maximus for the remainder of this campaign.

    PS. Rhino wears crotchless pantyhose. We have pictures.

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  10. bobbin4apples

    Too bad the u.s. prez elections were not run this way. Too many people voted on what the presidental nominees looked like

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  11. The Real Muppet

    Fucking Maximus!! LET US BE ENTERTAINED !!!!

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  12. The Fly

    All good citizens should vote with their balls.

    Vote for Maximus (no homo)

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  13. Po Pimp

    My vote is for sale. Can we start the bidding at say $0.50?

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  14. Patrick

    Who is Maximus?

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  15. fake amish

    Interesting implosion by one of the favorites.

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  16. The Secret Police of the IBank Kingdom
    The Secret Police of the IBank Kingdom

    All non-supporters of Rhino report to Headquarters for a special vacation.

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  17. The Fly

    Two days from now, Maximus the tabbed blogger, will be at home harvesting his crops. Imagine where you will be and it will be so.

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  18. JakeGint

    I will definitely be voting for Chuck Bennett if we are going to get more “about last night” pics.

    ____________

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  19. JakeGint

    Where is the V King in this contest, btw?

    _____________

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  20. JV

    Frankly, they all suck. It is a waste of time providing space to substandard guest commentary. Isn’t that the sole purpose of twitter?

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    • The Fly

      If that’s the case, traffic will fall short and they will be let go at the end of 3 months. At which point, we will have new elections.

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  21. JV

    On the other hand – Cadillac did market the Cimarron.

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  22. Goose

    Maximus drives a 1996 Red Ford Probe. Trust me. I have ridden shotgun.

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  23. RNB

    Focus on traffic and ideas over profitability = Failure of the masses. Overtrading kills.

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