iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,417 Blog Posts

MAGIC…POOF!

“I’m sorry but something is really ripping apart my brains here.” (ZOMBIE, CHOMP!)

POOF!

That was me doing fucking magic, making lots of money disappear, vanishing into thin air like accountability when blogging.

As you can see by the swagger in my penmanship, I am getting cartoon raped in QCOR, ALJ, TZA and VXX today, while making a SINGULAR penny in CPST and nothing at all in TIF. All of this, despite my big, bountiful, and handsome, cash “hoard” has me sitting in the great big, tall grass, off by 1.25% for the day.

As I sit here, getting Breitbart’d by the market elements, I am taunted by a wide array of stocks bottle rocketing higher. For the love of gay giraffes driving ice cream trucks, even FSLR is up.

Sure, you fuckers are sitting there LAUGHING at my plight. Let me tell you something, as a matter of fact: if any of you cow suckers were near me, no matter how disabled you may be, I’d punch all of your teeth out like chicklets on a roller coaster. You fucking pussies don’t have the weapons to approach Le Fly. I have moats and trap doors, orital space cannons (OSC) and internet deathrays pointed at your cabezas.

I can sit here and discuss my accomplishments and how much bigger my dick is than yours, but I DON’T WANT TO FUCKING DO THAT RIGHT NOW! Frankly, and justifiably so, I am a great danger to myself at the moment. My blood is not only boiling, but curdling (if even possible). My brains are wacky, making me see mirages, like every stock I own down and all of the shit on my “IMMEDIATE BUY LIST” up. It simply cannot be the case. My eyes must deceive me.

Phantasm!

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45 comments

  1. CASHN1N9

    Wow, i better stay away… RUN….

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  2. TMoe

    Should have held on to your WNR! (pun intended)

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  3. acehood

    You’re one small step away from calling out @Shaq on Twitter. Come on now, you know you want to.

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  4. Victor Riesco

    VXX tits also ripped a new one on me. Been making gains and giving them up twice since FEB.

    It is magic.

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  5. Dan

    Same boat… + it’s really windy outside!

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  6. Jakegint

    Obviously, you’re just depressed. Nothing a little outdoor landscaping can’t fix…

    I think you need to install an “arrival court” with custom hedges and a reflecting pool, Lampert-style.

    ________

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  7. horsetradin

    Why is the EURO down and ES up?
    Maybe time to call it a “week”.
    Thanks for the RuPaul Giraffe visual (no homo)

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    • Frog

      Intermarket correlations work until they stop working. That’s why people over 47-1/2 should not be banned here but should be welcomed. If any of you youngsters were to ever look at a long-term chart, you would see that the current correlations among stocks, bonds, gold, Euro etc. have sometimes worked and sometimes not.

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  8. @crazyfasteddy

    better check your guages and flux capacitor.. obviously your time machine has spit you out in the fucking Bizarro world…

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  9. The Fly

    Everyone on this thread is now on the “to die list.”

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  10. Yabollox

    I suck today too. After buying GMCR yesterday afternoon.

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  11. Cindy Bindy

    TAS all the thrills of MCP without the high cost!

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  12. Anton

    “…vanish into thin air like accountability when blogging.”

    Heh-heh.

    {sigh}

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  13. Cyn

    Just shut it down and call it day dude.

    You got a mass o cash and can come out fighting on Monday.

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  14. Bullish

    Goldilocks is back! (no Kudlow)

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  15. Frog

    I agree with Jake, Fly. You must be depressed. Maybe you need to go get some exercise or whatever you do to release stress.

    Sounds like a bad day, and those days do feel awful for all of us. But I expect you have impressive gains YTD still. And a cash hoard is great potential for the future of this probably increasingly bullish econmic recovery just in time for the election type of year.

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  16. Frog

    Strange how my last post showed up earlier here than 4 posts that were posted before it.

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  17. Blind Read Ant

    If the world doesn’t explode, I was rather impressed by Wyndum’s CEO earlier in the cycle:

    $WYN. No. Not $WYNN.

    Just $WYN.

    WARNING – trade this $LOSS may become a new Nasdaq IPO.

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  18. grantisplantis

    FLY what do you think of DDD? It’s been working for me.

    Also, MCP is up 12% today. Perosnally I sold a few months ago because it was filthy garbage, but it could go back up this year

    I shook ewan mcgregors hand outside the crosby hotel last night & I should not have drank so much in chinatown

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  19. Hack

    But on Tuesday you said to buy miners, so I dutifully bought EXK and NGD. Your algos work great and I appreciate the tip.

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  20. widespreadpanik

    Fly I am a big advocate for you but someone with dickhead hedge fund friends is now shorting the bejesus off your picks. QCOR is like an Apple trading at half its growth rate mainly because it doesn’t cuddle up to the Wall St. filth. Either by issuing debt or stock or getting the all might Goldman Sux to “advise” them of strategic aquisitions. Added more QCOR this AM below 35.

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  21. indie

    You have to stop fucking out and start fucking in.

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  22. noodleboy

    buy cree
    dont listen to the haters

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  23. Greg

    I give you props for saying the truth FLY for sure no doubt. Have you ever looked into technical analysis?

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  24. Mr. Cain Thaler

    Orital Space Cannon?

    Is that like a dental gun?

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  25. peaches

    FAS just bought me a new car. I will have FAS spray painted on it. Thank you iBankcoin. And I’m on spring break! Do you guys remember spring break? Tell me a good spring break story!

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    • Jakegint

      The original “Night Town” in Destin, Florida, back before MTV found that beach and ruined it (they were still pimping Daytona and Ft Lauderdale at the time)…

      25 cents kamikazes… five floors, eleven bars, wall to wall SEC babes…

      Fill in your own story, I will neither confirm nor deny.

      __________

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