iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,850 Blog Posts

Quick Alert: True Facts About “The Fly”

“The Fly” drives his car 150 mph, then does 90 degree turns, regularly.

Upon banking coin, “The Fly” usually celebrates by drinking the “richest whiskey around.”

“The Fly” no longer eats sword fish.

“The Fly” has documentation to prove an IQ of 155 and is able to read 800 words per minute.

“The Fly” really does hate his neighbors and regularly gets into heated debates, with all of them.

Over the past six months, “The Fly” has skipped lunch, in order to focus on “more important things,” such as: guzzling Blue Monsters or throwing darts at Tokman’s face (not his real face, a photo).

“The Fly” regularly goes for “late night drives,” without explanation.

“The Fly” is an avid reader, but hates shit that “isn’t classic.”

Rarely does “The Fly” read other blogs, mainly because “none of them are worth more than boredom.” However, when he does surf the net, he reads: Dinosaur Trader, MadStocks, Howard, Option Addict, Big Picture and Real Money.

“The Fly” refuses to drink out of plastic cups.

One time, “The Fly” knocked off 5 mustaches, two beards and seventeen eyebrows, with one punch.

For fun, “The Fly” mocks gangster rap.

In real life, “The Fly” is “not allowed” to curse or listen to “that stupid rap music,” as per Mrs. Fly.

Finally, “The Fly’s” favorite tv shows include: Fast Money, Journey Man (for obvious reasons), The Wire and Hell’s Kitchen. All other tv is considering “somewhat fucktarded.”

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52 comments

  1. Dinosaur Trader

    Okay..okay… I’ll start.

    “The Fly’s” favorite candy is Mentos. He loves those euro-commercials.

    Mentos!

    -DT

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  2. brian

    He pissed cramer off so bad once. Cramer was going to sue the fly for posting cramer subscription shit on this blog. Oh ya I been here awhile.

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  3. brian

    Remember Fly

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  4. BOOMER

    He once had a terribly bad hair cut. So much so, that he didn’t want to leave his house.

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  5. Richard A.

    His computer uses HGH.

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  6. BOOMER

    His home repair contractor is in the mob and is always trying to pimp him.

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  7. Dinosaur Trader

    “The Fly” is lactose intolerant.

    -DT

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  8. Dinosaur Trader

    One time a little bird flew into “the Fly’s” kitchen window. He went outside, placed it in the palm of his hand, and waited 10 minutes for the bird to recover it’s faculties and fly away.

    Then, he cried.

    -DT

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  9. Dinosaur Trader

    “The Fly” has a Hillary 2008 sticker on the back of his Toyota Prius.

    -DT

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  10. cheesefries

    briefer.com, what happened to that guy?

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  11. brian

    he like mexicans

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  12. TraderCaddy

    The Fly is a member of La Rasa and believes in open borders in order to assure an adequate supply of gardeners at his house.

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  13. TraderCaddy

    The Fly goes to Arizona on weekends and patrols the border as a minuteman.

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  14. TraderCaddy

    The Fly secretly hangs out at Beth Page Black Golf Course at 4 A.M. to get a tee time all the while he is telling his wife he is at work.

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  15. Dinosaur Trader

    “The Fly” cried during the “opera scene” in the movie Philadelphia.

    -DT

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  16. brian

    he likes to throw change and or firecrackers out of his limo at people in nyc.

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  17. brian

    he often vowed to ruin the internet investor class by giving us bullshite stock info…..

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  18. TraderCaddy

    The Fly embarrassed his family when got thrown out of the movie theater during a showing of the Disney movie “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” as he was laughing at the poor beast.

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  19. TraderCaddy

    The Fly owns a Dunkin’ Donuts franchise on Long Island.

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  20. Dinosaur Trader

    “The Fly” doesn’t cut his nails. He files them.

    -DT

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  21. Dinosaur Trader

    In 1981, “the Fly” sported a perm.

    -DT

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  22. TraderCaddy

    The Fly likes to disco dance in front of the mirror in his underwear to the song Saturday Night Fever.

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  23. Dinosaur Trader

    Note: My wife just called me “an asshole” for trivializing “the moving” opera scene from “Philadelphia.”

    -DT

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  24. TraderCaddy

    The Fly once made a 2″ ribeye for Gordon Ramsay (from Hell’s Kitchen) and ended up giving him food poisoning.

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  25. JakeGrinch

    What the fuck is Journey Man.

    This is how little asstarded tv I watch: I only recognized one of those shows — The Wire.

    Which is some good shit, ya feelin’ me?

    ________

    TV — outside of certain sporting events (like my juiced up Yankees and Giants) — is largely a waste of time.

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  26. WallStreetHunter

    “The Fly” once bounced a Monster can off his trader assistant that rebounded at his face, nearly taking off his own eyebrow.

    Odd no?

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  27. JakeGrinch

    The only thing I remember about Philadelphia was that song that Bruce sang.

    And that was before I knew he was a total commie, or I prolly wouldn’t even have rememeberd that much.

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  28. JakeGrinch

    In mid-2002, whilst tinkering with his Plutonic Time Machine and waiting for a bottom, The Fly accidentally “shrunk the kids” to collectibe replica size, leaving him with a lot of “splainin’ ta do” when his wife got home from the grocery.

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  29. howard lindzon

    good stuff. The fly rocks. great taste in blogs.

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  30. howard lindzon

    The fly is a chick

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  31. howard lindzon

    the fly is scared of the dark

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  32. The Fly maybe should consider getting needles stuck in his body-then you may take 95mph turns like me Turbo Quad.

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  33. Dinosaur Trader

    This is my last one…

    “The Fly” has a collection of decorative spoons that he keeps in a special wooden cabinet that hangs in his kitchen.

    No one can touch his spoons.

    His favorite spoon is from The Grand Canyon and features a horse silhouetted against the sunset.

    -DT

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  34. mrkcbill

    The Fly is studying the Chinese Language at the University of Phoenix. To better prepare himself for Chinese Lotto and dealing with Brooklyn store merchants.

    It is reported Fly reads 600 Chinese words a minute.

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  35. buckeye bob

    What the heck happened to the futures in the last 15 minutes – the Citi SIV stuff?

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  36. mrkcbill

    Fly likes to “Fake Bake” at the same place as Angelo except he uses olive oil.

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  37. SaNTa

    “The Fly” keeps a giant tub of Legos under his bed.

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  38. ewa4c

    The Fly plays tennis at Forrest Hills in a V-neck sweater and long white pants on a grass court. When he’s done, he has shrimp cocktails and an Arnold Palmer for lunch. This is after his massage and sauna.

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  39. JakeGrinch

    Who doesn’t?

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  40. mrkcbill

    ewa4c- I can just picture Fly ordering an Arnie Palmer. Thats funny!

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  41. JakeGrinch

    You screwed me up, Ewac, I was talking about the Legos.

    In an ironic twist, however, I was born in Forest Hills and spent a whole month of my life there.

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  42. ewa4c

    sorry Jake, it was my “honey hole” and I had to take it!

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  43. cheesefries

    There is blood in the water. Futures dropping..

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  44. cheesefries

    SAN FRANCISCO (MarketWatch) — Citigroup said late Thursday that it will take $49 billion worth of assets from several investment entities that have been damaged by the subprime mortgage meltdown and add that to its own balance sheet – a move that could cut deeply into the Wall Street giant’s capital base.
    ———-

    Man up bitches, let’s see what you’ve got. This is the kind of move I want to see from the financials.

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  45. ewa4sc

    Fly,

    Have you seen this MVIS video? It has the standalone player. I just found it on the message board. It’s from CEATEC in Japan. OCT 2-7.

    MVIS Stand alone player

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  46. ewa4sc

    It might take some time to load and it’s in Japanese.

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  47. nncoco

    Nobody touches his spoons?

    DT you kill me.

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  48. Juju bear

    The Fly secretly watches “What Not to Wear”, then dresses outrageously to try to get on the show.

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  49. James Dalton

    The Fly’s servant/trader is chuck norris

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  50. Employee8

    The Fly no longer endulges in swordfish after getting so sick from parasitic worms that he halucinated and woke up the next morning covered in regurgitated fish not to mention finding that he was now envious of Jeff Goldblum … not for his physique or Geena Davis but for his dependable time machine!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Fly_poster.jpg

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  51. spencerpratt

    The Fly used to have a website where people talked stocks

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  52. WildWestie

    The Fly used to “bank coin”

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