Grandma Yellen Bakes Hope Cookies – Says Another Financial Crisis ‘Not Likely In Our Lifetime’

Fed Chair Janet Yellen told a room full of stuffy Brits on Tuesday that another financial disaster like the 2008 credit crisis was not likely “in our lifetime,” as banks are “very much stronger.”

Coming from the 70 year old Yellen, whose life expectancy is 86 years old, the message is clear; an almost guaranteed 16 years of unmitigated cocaine rallies lie ahead! 

After all, the Fed is prepared to do all sorts of neat things the next time SHTF, like the directly buying stocks and corporate bonds of any entity deemed “too big to fail.”

“I think the public can see the capital positions of the major banks are very much stronger this year,” said Yellen. “All of the firms passed the quantitative parts of the stress tests.”

“I think the system is much safer and much sounder,” she said. “We are doing a lot more to try to look for financial stability risks that may not be immediately apparent but to look in corners of the financial system that are not subject to regulation, outside those areas in order to try to detect threats to financial stability that may be emerging.”

Yellen and crew are doing such amazing work – looking in ‘corners of the financial system’ and whatnot to keep us safe.

Excellent news Grandma! 

While Ben Bernanke made similar bold statements during the credit crisis, calling the subprime mortgage market “contained,” I’m sure Janet Yellen’s crystal ball is a bit more accurate after nearly 10 years to recover and strengthen the banking sector.

Perhaps US banks will even be robust enough to bail out Europe the next time Deutsche Bank ($DB) or Italy’s Monte Paschi, need MOAR emergency bailouts.

In March, Deutsche Bank was forced to raise an emergency 8 billion Euros – a move which CEO Johyn Cryan previously called a “last resort” – bringing their total raised over the last 18 months to 30 billion Euros!

Meanwhile, Italy’s Monte Paschi received special permission from the Italian government and the EU to tap Italy’s Treasury instead of the European Central Bank for an 8.8 billion bailout.

So – while the US banking sector will apparently be in great shape for at least the rest of Grandma Yellen’s natural life, let’s hope that the EU can hold itself together so we can avoid the mother of all global bailouts the next time the cocaine runs out.

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