Tucker Carlson has hit his stride. The man who was long ago cucked by Jon Stewart has made his way up the mountain and ascended to a higher plane of neuroplasticity. He now flows and gets it on the first and only take – a feat which many attribute to the fact that Tucker no longer suffers from the chi-restricting properties of bow-ties. His recent Reddit AMA (“Ask Me Anything”) was one of the best in a while.
With all that said, tonight’s cucking ceremony was a softball for Tucker, but it was made thoroughly enjoyable due to it’s “to catch a predator” vibe. Right off the bat, Tucker introduces the guest as a fraud – as in, he opens by calling the guy out for using a fake name. The unsuspecting shill, who goes by “Dominic Tullipso,” claims to be the director of a professional paid agitation firm called “Demand Protest,” which has been making the rounds through various news organizations with claims of 1,800 protesters on retainer at a rate of $2500/month each.
Tucker: “You have a wallet on you, like every grown man does – hold up a credit card, you can cover the number, to our camera and show us any piece of documentation with the name “Dominic Tullipso” on it. And you can’t, because that’s not your real name.
“Dom”: Tucker, you’re not accusing me of being a hoax, are you?
Tucker: I’m saying that your name is fake, and this company is fake, and that the claims you’ve made on your website are false
[A reeling “Dom” lazily excretes the word “ohh”]
At this point you can see that “Dom,” who’s wearing a sleeveless winter hipster vest on national TV, has never had to engage at this level. As he works hard for his participation award, Dom’s slick talking liberal snark begins to write checks his intellect can’t cash, and he starts digging himself deeper into oblivion. Tucker sees that his prey is mortally wounding itself, and simply allows this guy to unravel on live TV.
Tucker: “You are not legitimate, you are lying, we know that, you have fooled other news organizations, you did not fool us
As the interview progresses, “Dom” liberal snark is greatly diminished yet resilient, however his logical core has melted into a puddle of free-associating, stammering Jell-O. He starts pledging allegiance to Julian Assange and Peyton Manning, and stated that their group went pro-Trump about 30 minutes before the interview.
“Dom”: We actually changed our mind though, about, um, we’re actually going after the protestors at the Inauguration. Um, so, we kind of changed our minds actually, recently and that was a result, mainly, of the enormous amount of hate mail we received. So we are protesting the protestors.
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