FUPA revisited
It still blows. Here are some refreshers:
I have another test in the FAP [Foreign Activities Project] tomorrow, where I have to account for complex derivitave hedings, options, and swaps for some ludicrous American company buying a Japanese Wafer company conducting business in South Korea. They proudly account and prepare financial statements in non-conforming, candyland GAAP.
They wrote up the worth of their factory on the balance sheet.
Each problem ends with the caveat, “the company has decided its long-term prospects are better if statements conform with GAAP, so please prepare them in accordance with GAAP.”
Thanks, asshole, you asshole problem and test, for telling my that. Or thanks ______ my shitbox teacher.
“This F.A.P reminds me of the F.U.P.A., or, “Fat Upper Pussy Area” as it is colloquially known. Perhaps you’ve never encountered a FUPA–you’d be one of the lucky ones. In my world travels, throughout airports nationwide, and at every birthday Denny’s, there the mighty FUPA lurks in all it’s boastful resplendence.
No matter the angle of the glance, the FUPA mocks the casual observer, insulting all five senses, including hearing. The FUPA emits an extraordinarily high-pitched whine that isn’t detectable by man, though there are reports that those in close confines of a FUPA develop headaches and tension pain.
Notice the deceptive angle at which waistband delineates the stomach and skillful way the creases form the FUPA. That is for show–there a dichotomy here. The FUPA is a separate area, which bucks gravity and draws light forever into its cavernous crevasses. It can never be confused as a mere “extension of the stomach.” The FUPA can carry things 10x their weight, and can actually unhinge the jaw, allowing a FUPA to swallow objects several times its size [read: people!].
Even famous people get the foop, as evidenced in this apples-to-apples comparison of the rare male-FUPA, as exhibited by Parcells and Weis.
Keep in mind, we didn’t even discover the male FUPA’s existence until 1986 when Paraguayan honeymooners caught one on tape while vacationing in the East Indies. There is no cure, but scientists argue over the mode of transmission for FUPA–evidence suggests a vector, but results are inconclusive.”
In any case, should you chance upon one, calmly–but assertively–say, “I see your F.U.P.A. you disgusting slob, keep your gypsy venom and body odors away from me and my family.” Then, you run like heck in the other direction, in a zig-zagging route–it makes you harder to chase.”
Note: I am quoting myself here.
The pictures in this post are truly offensive.
sorry, this is can be a scary site