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Foxconn Owner Terry Gou Goes Full Donald Trump on, Well, Donald Trump

Does anyone know if this is real?  Bloomberg published an open letter Wednesday from the man who owns Foxconn, the work camp where iPhone’s are assembled.

Read this.  Terry Gou sounds alpha AF:

Dear Mr. Trump,

You don’t know me but I’m Terry Gou, the man who makes your iPhone.

Let me start by congratulating you on the election. Your victory made me consider running for office myself. Next time you talk with the president of Taiwan, it might be me on the other end of the line.

We have a lot in common, you and I. We’re both billionaires (although I am richer), we both like to build things, we’re both married to gorgeous younger women, and we both hate Wall Street.

I know that you’ve been telling your constituents that you’re going to create a lot of jobs, so I want to give you some advice. First, you don’t actually have to create any jobs, you just have to make people think you’re going to create them. I am sure you’re familiar with the concept.

Actually, I can help you with that. If you look at Brazil, Indonesia, India and half a dozen Chinese provinces, you’ll see that my work speaks for itself.

Take Indonesia, one of my proudest achievements. Oh no, I haven’t built a single iPhone there and probably never will. During closed-door discussions, they allowed themselves to believe I might invest $10 billion in a mobile-phone factory. It’s not my fault some over-eager politician, keen to burnish his reputation as a can-do leader, blabbed to the media.

All I need to do is lay out my demands and watch while the bureaucrats and politicians argue about whether they can afford to have me or risk falling short on a campaign pledge.

So that’s where you and I need to talk. I hear you’ve been telling people you’re going to get Apple to build stuff in America. Well, you see, Tim Cook doesn’t build things, I do. In fact, I got $75 billion in revenue from them last year.

foxconn

I am a doer, Mr. Trump. I get things done. When Apple told me to start making iPhones in Brazil to get around import tariffs, I made it happen. It didn’t create much employment, mind you, because I just exported pre-fabricated iPhones for the locals to slot together — kind of like Lego — but it got the job done. And by job, I mean kept Apple’s and Brazil’s leaders happy. And who do you think paid for it? Not me.

If you want iPhones to be made in America, I can make that happen, too. Heck, I can set up a production line in Trump Towers if you like, but the costs will be yuuuge. I have to cover my expenses, which include factories, labor and transport. You see, I don’t manufacture in China just because it’s cheaper, but because thousands of suppliers are there, within spitting distance of my factories and the one million people I employ during peak season.

I can deploy more robots in the U.S., sure, but it can take months to train them whereas humans can be taught in a few hours. Besides, more robots means fewer jobs.

Bumping up your import tariffs won’t change the equation much, but give me tax breaks, subsidies to hire workers, cheap electricity and free land, and I’m sure we can come to some arrangement. Let me know what numbers you want to Tweet, and I’ve got your back.

But just remember: Like that wall you’re planning to build, somebody’s going to have to pay. And it won’t be me, let me tell you.

Best,
Terry Gou
Chairman, Foxconn Technology Group.

Mr. Gou doesn’t shy away from the fact that he occasionally employs a million seasonal laborers and is a master at gaming globalism for Apple.  The world craves straight talkers.  Perhaps this is an effective tactic in the People’s Republic of China also.  He hints at running for office in a place where ‘fake news’ does not exist, only heavily censored news.

This has all the makings of a high powered billionaire showdown.  The world is getting lit fam.

But I am confused, did the Foxconn owner actually write this letter or was it dreamed up by some shill at Bloomberg?

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13 comments

  1. thegametheorist

    Highly unlikely this is real

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    • infinitezuul

      Correct. It’s parody by Tim Culpan. Gets the point across though.

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  2. burrito land

    fake

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  3. traderconfessions
    traderconfessions

    Pretty funny nonetheless.

    Just read that Carrier announced that it will use the millions it received for Trump-jobs to automate its plant which will result in lost jobs. Looks like our Emperor was out-negotiated.

    Trump also said that he selected billionaires for his cabinet because only rich guys can negotiate. Obviously he’s never been to a flea market or a car dealership.

    It’s going to be an entertaining four years.

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  4. longview

    It is a parody piece written by a Bloomberg columnist, quite obviously.

    https://www.bloomberg.com/gadfly/articles/2016-12-07/dear-mr-trump-about-those-u-s-iphones

    But now you’ve passed it on as potentially real. In 48 hours, Trump will tweet about it and threaten Foxconn and Apple. 46% of the people will raise angry fists and shout bloody oaths.

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  5. Raul

    If I were Terry You, thank goodness I am not, I would demand the castration of this Tim Culpan for his impersonation.

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    • longview

      Yes, but then the real Raul would decry it same as when Erdogan demanded the prosecution of the political satirist in Germany, right?

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    • frog

      So free speech shouldn’t be allowed any more? Not even satire?

      Gosh, it’s sure hard to keep up with the new normal. I guess people are going to start trying to shut down The Onion soon?

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  6. 99 lead balloons

    Blurs line between real, fake , and satire news.

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  7. Dr. Fly

    Fake news. You should know better.

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    • frog

      How should he know better? Fake news is all over the place, and is believed by some very educated people. And satire too.

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  8. og

    I love this. Maybe he should call Taiwan some more.

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