About To Be Real Patriotic This Week

At some point you have to stomp your boot into the mud and declare your allegiance. In this country, USA#1, we celebrate the day we effectively told Great Britain to, “fuck off” and leave us alone. Sure, these days America owes money all over the world, including to known pornographers, but that’s because we borrowed (read: took) that money.

We’re like a gigantic Greece except that we beat back the Germans in WWII—and we’d do it again.

This Independence Day promises to be the gayest one on record. Citizens are preparing to guzzle beer and barbecued meat, staples of southern living, whist burning confederate flags on their front lawns. They will be replaced by rainbow prints and men wearing shorts cut above the knee.

The Weekly Strategy Session is published inside Exodus. In it, I cover my favorite patriotic picks for the short week, as well as some companies that will begin their decent into extinction, much like the dying ethos of southern oppression.

This is a brave new world lads. Has USA jumped the shark and gone full Rome? Or will we make it a little bit further than the last great republic? The universe is a series of attempts at going a little bit further than the last great—just like beating a video game. I am firmly in the camp that USA is Super Mario trumped up on a star, raccoon suit, and belly full of mushrooms. Let’s do this!