Quick Thought on Marathons

Our populace really loves polarizing events and happenings.  Be it football rivalries, films like Footloose, elections, or chilled NYC residents inundated first by waters and now by trite “26.2” tourists.  These events put the spotlight on how fucking stupid an extreme opinion is.  You stand for nothing, except the desire to bring attention to your otherwise anonymous life by joining an argument.

I’ve run marathons, they’re spirited, sure.  In Detroit, we run over to Canada for a brief reprieve, then it’s back to running past piles of burning tires and shit.  I kid, slightly.

As for NYC and its diverting of “precious public resources” to having a marathon, I don’t go extreme and you shouldn’t either.  Wouldn’t it be frustrating to cancel and rework travel itineraries?  Marathoners also spend months in a training regimen that “peaks” on race day.  It would get their spandex in a bunch to waste such efforts.

If there was a tree shoved up my Brooklyn home’s ass, it would be modestly entertaining to toss firecrackers at the runners while huddling over a barrel of burning garbage.  If I was a resident, I’d certainly make lemonade from the situation; perhaps setting up a small card table and offering the runners a refreshing drink, that’s actually a shot of cinnamon.  Poof CINNAMONED FOOL!  Or maybe some locally sourced (from the subway tunnel) water.  Get creative and really have fun with it.

And although you won’t because life’s one big internet popularity contest, calm the fuck down.  Most of us are just sort of meandering down the opinion road, like water, living our lives.

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