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The Hottest Gift This Christmas

The hottest gift this Christmas will be coming from Nintendo.  They are firing on all cylinders right now (sort of) with the release of Pokemon Go (Nintendo owns 1/3 of The Pokemon Company) earlier this summer to the new adaptation of the Mario franchise with the release of Mario Run app on the iOS on December 15th.  They are also going to be releasing a new gaming platform in March 2017 called Nintendo Switch.

All of these new Nintendo products are sure to excite gaming enthusiasts, but the hottest gift this Christmas will be the NES Classic Edition.

The NES Classic Edition is nostalgia at its finest.  At $59.99 this thing is an absolute steal.  It comes with 30 pre-loaded games, which equates to $2 per game, and they are some of the greatest ones ever created for the console.  There are a handful of other games that could have easily been added to the list but I’m not complaining.  There is speculation they may try to push a major update to the system via USB.  Even though it appears to replicate the original NES, it is about 1/8 the size and looks more like a blocky smartphone.  It does not accept original NES cartridges and you need an adapter to use the original controllers.  It also uses HDMI and USB cables for display and power compared to the A/V or Coaxial cables of the past.

My major knock on the system is that they give you a single controller with a 2.5 ft cord, that is just not feasible and almost unforgivable.  It would have made sense if people planned on playing this console on their old 20″ CRT.  I’ll be playing it on a 60″ LED, so sitting that close to the TV makes absolutely zero sense.  I will be purchasing the cord extension adapter in lieu of the wireless controller as I’ve heard the wireless controllers aren’t that great.

A select handful of major retailers are selling the NES Classic but they are all sold out.  This appears to be either a Nintendo supply chain issue or a giant marketing scheme, or both.  I lean toward the latter as Nintendo is notorious for pulling off this move to spur fake demand and hype up the product.  The thing is they don’t need to hype it up.

Walmart, Best Buy, Amazon, and Gamestop have all carried the product since it launched on November 11th, but it sold out instantly.  I wasn’t smart enough to pre-order it, but Amazon has said they expect to fill all pre-orders by mid-December.  Which means, if Nintendo can get their shit together, hopefully we can all enjoy this over the holidays.

I’ve been looking forward to getting my hands on this system for a while.  In fact, I was so anxious that I actually pulled out my original NES last weekend and tried playing with it.  Unfortunately, when I went to start it up I got the red blinking light of death.  Many of you are familiar with this conundrum.  The traditional fix is to blow into the game cartridge or the front loading pin connector to blow out any dust or debris.  That didn’t work like it had so many times in the past 25 years so I decided to take it completely apart and cotton swab the pin connector with alcohol (vodka).  Again, that did not work, so I’m afraid I might have to order a new 72-pin connector or mod one of the chips on the circuit board.  It’s funny how complicated yet simplistic the original NES is, being 30 years old.

Retro-gaming seems to be a trend that is coming back.  One of the biggest reasons I stopped playing video games and getting the latest PlayStation or Xbox consoles is because the games are over-complicated and arduous.  You could play a game like SkyRim and spend days, literally, playing it.  I read online that a game like Skyrim takes 300 plus hours to beat and that’s probably if you knew every step to follow.  A game like Super Mario Bros could take 3 or 4 minutes to beat if you do a speed run.  That plays well when having friends over to play classics like Super Mario Bros, Donkey Kong, or Pacman.  I’ve even seen bars pop up that have NES, Sega, Super Nintendo, N64 consoles set up where you can go and drink and play retro games that you played growing up.

This gift is a great idea for anyone between 8 and 45 years old.  For the younger kids who are used to the newer systems, it is effectively 30 games for the price of 1 that the whole family can enjoy.  For the older crowd, you can relive the nostalgia of the mid 80s and early 90s.

A word to the wise: Do not pay more than $59.99 for this system, unless you absolutely think you have to have it before Christmas and you love throwing money away.  I have seen scalpers on major retail sites selling this thing upwards of $300.  I even saw ridiculous outliers of $4,000 on eBay.  It’s not that this system isn’t worth more than $59.99 (it is), but the fact is that Nintendo will make as many as possible to meet the demand, which is yuge.  Based on demand for the Classic NES console, Nintendo could easily replicate their Super Nintendo console and N64 console and make a killing.  Hopefully they don’t shoot themselves in the foot and provide ample supply for the Christmas shopping season.

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It’s Time To Sack Up America

What is happening to our society?  No, I’m not talking about Trump winning the election and how 50+ million uneducated white males could vote for him. I’m talking about the pussification of the younger generation.  This has become a rising trend for a while now and for the past few years has started to go parabolic.

There has been a lot of bantering back and forth saying Millennials are going to be the best generation.  I think this thought is based solely on how well millennials can learn new technologies.  The problem is that they are mostly introverted and don’t know how to do basic things like pay bills, deal with adversity, hit a nail with a hammer, etc.

The following article from the Wall Street Journal came out yesterday and I about flipped my shit after I read it.  I get so upset every time I read it that I have to stop midway through and take a timeout to color in my coloring book and pet my therapy dog.  I’ve read it five times now and have only thrown up eight times.

Colleges Try to Comfort Students Upset by Trump Victory

Dozens of students at Cornell University gathered on a major campus thoroughfare for a “cry-in” to mourn the results of the 2016 presidential election Wednesday, with school staff providing tissues and hot chocolate.

At Tufts University, arts and crafts were on offer. And the University of Kansas reminded students via social media of the therapy dogs available for comfort every other Wednesday.

There was a steady flow of students entering Ms. Boynton’s office Wednesday. They spent the day sprawled around the center, playing with Play-Doh and coloring in coloring books, as they sought comfort and distraction.

I’m sorry, but when did colleges double as child daycare centers?  If I was helping pay for my child’s education at a university, I would tell them if they attend any of that bullshit then they can start looking for a part time job because I’m not supporting them anymore.  It’s called tough love, snowflake.  My dad would have ripped off his belt, bent me over his knee, and beat my ass if he knew I was doing that at college instead of beer bonging Natty Light like a normal college kid.  Then he would hand me over to my mom where she would take a couple of licks to the side of my head with a wooden spoon.  Again, tough love.

You know who needs real therapy?  Our soldiers who go overseas to fight terrorism.  The majority of them that were exposed to the battlefield come back with PTSD.  An uncomfortably high percentage of them commit suicide because they are so messed up in the head.  They need therapy to help them cope with the horrific things they’ve seen or done to protect our freedoms.  How do you think they get treated during their training?  They don’t get coddled by their professors.  They go through grueling training to get prepared for the battlefield where they get shot at and sometimes killed.  Think of them next time you feel offended or “triggered” because of someone’s status on Facebook or Twitter.  Think of them tomorrow during Veterans day instead of blocking traffic because you’re butthurt that your vote for Clinton didn’t matter.

What has caused us to become so weak as a society?  My guess would be from all of the free handouts that we have become accustomed to receiving.  Free handouts and entitlements from our ever-growing socialist regime.  Nothing in life is free.  Someone always pays for it.  Yet, every time something doesn’t go your way, you demand that someone else pay for it.

Your steak wasn’t cooked perfect – I DEMAND A REFUND!

Your car tire blows out – THE MECHANIC SHOULD FIX THIS FOR FREE!

Your shirt rips after you’ve owned it for 5 years – THEY SHOULD REIMBURSE ME!

But they hurt my feelings! 🙁

Ya, well, my feelings got hurt when $CMG reported shitty earnings and I had to sell their stock because I thought it was going lower.  I didn’t run to my safe space and pen a personal attack letter blaming Ackman and demanding he fix the company.  I moved on and looked for new opportunities instead of wallowing in my grief over something I could not control.  I took control.

This is a non-partisan, non-racial, and non-gendered issue friends, so don’t try to spin it.

Stop watching Real Housewives and The Kardashians.  Stop getting on Facebook to post an ignorant status about how you are upset about the election outcome.  Stop burning the flag, seriously, or get the fuck out.  Burning the flag should be a minimum $5,000 fine and instantly deported.  Whenever the 3:30 ramp fails you don’t see me going to the steps of 33 Liberty and lighting a flag on fire and screaming at Janet and Goldman Sachs.  Show some patriotism.  If you hate this country or the President, leave.  No one is forcing you to be here.

We need to be a stronger race, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.  Take some creatine and do some squats and kettle bell swings. Read books, start a business, help someone out, become a better person instead of whining and making excuses.  Figure out ways to solve problems without complaining.

Provide value.

Toughen up.

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I put out a poll on Monday afternoon that I thought would cover most outcomes of the election.  If $TWTR would allow more than 4 poll options I would have added a 5th that said ‘Trump/Clinton win, market flat’ even though I really don’t think this a viable outcome.  The poll is still open until about 9pm tonight so please cast your vote and timestamp it to see how you did on Wednesday.

As the poll currently stands, with over 2000 votes, 12% believe that Trump will win and the market will rally and 14% believe that Clinton will win and the market will tank.  The point of this poll was not to figure out if Trump or Clinton would win, but rather how the market would react to said candidate’s win.

The media has ingrained the following thoughts in our heads:  Trump win = bad and Clinton win = good. 


What I’ve learned about the market over years of trading is that the market will do what most people don’t see coming.  The Brexit vote was one of the most recent examples of this phenomena.  I’ve witnessed a handful of Trump supporters compare this election to the Brexit vote saying a similar outcome is on hand.  They think too many Trump supporters are afraid to voice their opinions on social media and in polls because of Trump’s demeanor.  So they believe come today, on election day, there will be an outpouring of Trump support as they fill up the polls throughout the country in support of their orange hero.  While I could see this scenario playing out in the some midwest states it will be the battleground states that matter, as in every election, since we are an electoral voting democracy.

What I think will happen is the following, and I’m basing it off of this poll and my gut, not my heart:  Clinton will win and the market will go down.  If Clinton does win, we could see an immediate gap up, as all the corrupt Democrats and Wall Street cheer what they have known would happen for months based off of the consistently “rigged” polls.  Once all of the champagne and drugs wear off, traders will start to realize that the Clinton rally already happened on Monday when we went up 2% because she was cleared by the FBI (again).  We will continue to fade the entire day and potentially give up a >1% overnight gain on a sell the news event.  Another reason we could sell off on a Clinton win may be if Trump and his voters refuse to accept the outcome of the election and cast a gloomy shadow over it.  There will also be the constant shadow of the Podesta emails and whatever else Wikileaks digs up.

There is still an off chance we go up on a Clinton win for a day, week, or maybe even a month as predicted by the majority.  But, I just don’t see it.  Of course I won’t be upset if this happens but I just don’t believe it will play out this way.  It seems way too scripted.  I asked a handful of close friends and relatives what they thought would happen with a Clinton win and they all said the same thing.  Thank the media for that.

Just because I think Clinton will win and we will sell off doesn’t mean I would recommend aligning your portfolio short in anticipation of this outcome.  Literally anything could happen so it’s best to just stay put until we figure out who wins.  You should have a large enough cash position that you would be fine with any outcome.  Maybe you don’t make enough on the rip up, so be it.  There will be all kinds of buying and selling opportunities on Wednesday and for the remainder of the year as traders finally start to digest what the next President will mean for their portfolio.  It is more important how we react after the news hits than how we react before.  Placing bets on a certain outcome is what it is, glorified gambling.  Even this morning I saw an 80% chance that Clinton wins.  An 80% chance of something happening in the market with a high number of samples is very good odds.  But we are talking about the election outcome, not how the market will react.

If Clinton wins, expect everyone to say I told you so.  If Trump wins, liberal media (CNN, MSNBC, CNBC et. al.) will go absolutely ape shit. Either way, it is going to be great television.  Reality TV at its finest.

God Bless America.

Full Disclosure: I voted for Trump this morning because I thought it was too narcissistic to vote for myself, so I voted for the next best thing.  The main reason I voted for Trump is because I’m sick of Washington and the games they play.  Congress approval rating is 20% right now, up from the all time low of 9% in 2013.  In 2001, a month after 9/11, their approval rating was 84%.  I think Trump is their kryptonite and their chemotherapy and will turn Washington upside down.  With Clinton, I just saw more of the same corruptness.  Regardless of the outcome, life will go on and we can go back to not hating each other again on social media.


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This Is The Top: Soulja Boy Tell’em

Last Friday, November 4th, right after the market closed down for the 9th straight day in a row, we received a major sign.  Not a sign of a potential bottom, but the sign of a potential major top.  It came in the form of a tweet from a 26-year-old-one-hit-wonder-mega-hip-hop-celebrity-has-been by the name of Soulja Boy.

For the geriatrics out there who don’t know who Soulja Boy is, here is a video of his first and only hit, Crank That (Soulja Boy).  If you have been to a wedding in the past 10 years you have most likely heard and/or tried to dance to this song.

I am always intrigued when celebrities try to dabble in the stock market.  See: Oprah, Martha Stewart, Jose Canseco, et. al.  But, when I saw this tweet come out, it drew a major red flag.  The way he said “I’m studying it right now and need some tips” just screams future bagholder.  I will give him credit for trying but he could be going the way of becoming the next Gartman.  I guess he has never heard the saying that tips are for waiters, especially tips from $TWTR paper traders.

I did some brief research over the weekend on Soulja Boy and some of his previous endeavors to see if I could gauge his market interest.  According to TheRichest, he has a net worth of approximately 23 million dollars.  It also appears that back in May he got a 5-year $400 million endorsement deal with World Poker Fund Holdings (OTC PINK: WPFH), a leading developer and operator of online and event-based social gaming platforms and brands.

From a press release from World Poker Fund:

Soulja Boy, “I invest in things I understand. I enjoy music, and of course gaming. Being an influencer is a form of currency. Having portfolio diversification is critical if you want to be an effective brand ambassador. With regards to World Poker Fund, I believe in its strategy, its team, the vision, and management’s ability to target its financial goals.”

If you are really interested in reading how a reported $23M man somehow stumbled upon a $400M deal from a pink sheet OTC stock read: The Real Story Behind Soulja Boy’s ‘$400 Million’ Deal, Forbes

All of this promise is not yet reflected in how much investors say the company is worth. According to CNN Money, World Poker Fund Holdings has a market capitalization of around $52 million. WPFH’s own annual report lists losses of over $400,000 last year.

So how is a company that is worth just north of $50 million going to pay out $400 million to their celebrity endorser? The answer is, they’re not. The deal, according to Bird, includes both stock and revenue-sharing.

“He really kind of jumped the gun” by using the $400 million figure. The deal is capped at $400 million, and it’s based on a forward-thinking valuation of the company. He’s young, he’s 25 years old. He got really excited, and he tweeted something he probably shouldn’t have tweeted. He was getting a lot of pressure from within the entertainment community, so he wanted to put a statement out. Obviously, the company’s market cap is at $51.8 million. There’s no way they could cut a $400 million deal. Endorsement deals are calculated on a lot of different factors. This is not a fully cash transaction.”

More information on this deal was dug up here: Soulja Boy’s Deal Isn’t Really Worth $400 Million: “He Tweeted Something He Shouldn’t Have”

We all know how this deal will most likely end up for him.  I imagine it will be just like how 99% of the time OTM options end up for everyone else: worthless.  The stock currently shows 770,000 shares at a price of $0.55 which puts the market cap under $500k.  I guess Bieber dumped all of his shares already.

Just typing in a simple Google search of Soulja Boy + stock market gave me this gem below.  Watch this video and tell me if you think this guy will be a good investor or trader.  I would gladly take the other side of any of his trades after looking into his investing history.  Hopefully he publicizes them on his social media more.

And this is why, sadly, we may have topped.  I like when people try to invest and get coin, but I don’t like when people act like they are impenetrable to the forces of the market.  Hopefully he stays away from $SPY OTM calls.


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S&P 500 just breached the 2100 magical support level, lowest since July 7th.  How did we get here?

Everything has been rosy since Brexit.  We haven’t hiked rates yet in 2016 and Clinton has been leading in every poll conducted by MSM by 5-10 points, regardless of the liberal corruption and current Weinergate investigation.

The market is trying to protect itself by discounting a Trump win in light of all the hits the liberals have taken in the past few weeks.  If the polls are real (they aren’t), we shouldn’t have to worry about a Trump win.  I think you could expect some volatile trading this next week with the Fed meeting, NFP, and the election of course.  People will try to frontrun what they think will happen and this should create some good trading opportunities for everyone.

This scenario is very reminiscent of Brexit.  A week leading up to the vote, the market rallied 2% but then sold off 5+% in 2 days.  We could be seeing the reverse of this play out now, as the market is trading lower into the election waiting for a Hillary win to rip higher.  If Hillary wins and the market continues lower, all bets are off.

Part of the reason Wall Street is worried about a Trump win is that he claimed he would essentially abolish the Fed.  Ya right.  He loves money just as much as the rest of us. Abolishing the Fed and taking away our candy would be a poor choice as we have all come to rely on stocks being forever at ATHs.

I still don’t get the argument of Trump is bad and Hillary is good for Wall Street.  They could both be bad and they could both be good.  If Trump wins and we sell off, is it because we’ve had an 8 year bull market and are due for a correction or is it based on his future political agenda?  Just because Democrats have statistically performed better in the past does not mean it’s a future predictor.  Many of these could be outliers, just like the Hoover administration.  No administration is created equal and outside events affect the markets not the people running the country.  Obama inherited the Great Recession, if it would have been a Republican instead, don’t you think we would have done just as well or better?  It’s a question that no one can answer with any high level of certainty.  I think trading off of seasonality type trends like this is just outright foolish.

Courtesy of Bespoke

I pray that we all get through these times of darkness and that we return to ATHs for the sake of our retirements, regardless of which corrupt leader we elect next week.


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The Most Important Lesson From The 2016 Election

The most important thing we can learn from the 2016 Election is that no information is safe, public or private.  Nothing you say to your friends 5, 10, 15 years ago in a college dorm room.  Nothing you tweeted and then deleted.  Nothing you put on Facebook.  Nothing you sent over email.  Nothing you say in the locker room to your bros.  Nothing you text your best friends on WhatsApp.  Nothing you send to your Snapchat friends.

“Ya, but they disappear?”

No, they don’t.

I’ll be the first to admit I’ve said some very ignorant things on social media and to my friends and I’m not proud of it.  It’s actually pretty unnerving to read some of the things you’ve publicly said in the past.  I liken it to clothes and fashion; look back at a picture of yourself from 10 years ago and you will probably say to yourself “What the hell was I wearing and why?”.  Same goes for the dumb things you’ve said publicly on the main social media platforms TWTR and FB.  Why did I say that?  And publicly nonetheless.  The Ramp Capital TWTR feed is the only exception, that sarcasm level is and always will be 100.

We are in a culture shift with the rise of social media and smartphones.  We are always connected.  We are always trying to stay in the loop.  We are always trying to impress someone.  Thirty years ago they didn’t have to worry about these kinds of issues.  The only way you could get busted with dirt was if someone wire-tapped you or you got caught on TV or a private investigator followed you around to your shady deals and snapped pictures from a van in an alley.  Otherwise it was just he-said-she-said and you could deny until you die.

This will sadden many, but there is no way I could ever run for President.  I don’t want this revelation to stop anyone who was planning on writing my name in on the ticket this year.  I just have too much dirt on me hidden in the deepest and darkest quagmires of the Internet archives.  Is it on the level of HRC and Trump bad?  Not even close, but, I’m a Christian, so I have some sense of a conscience.

In 20 years it will be interesting to see how social media plays a bigger role in every election as dirt will be dug up through different platforms.  Do we just accept it as a part of life as long as they apologize?  Or does the next President have to stay off all social media so they can be portrayed as a saint?  Right now, the HRC camp has clearly been busted by the Wikileaks and regardless what MSM says you know those emails are legit.  But, she apologized for some things, albeit indirectly, or blamed Russia for hacking and then shifting the focus to Trump colluding with them, so she is portrayed as the saint.  Whereas Trump got busted saying dumb things as he always does (and people act shockingly appalled) but he doesn’t apologize, or at least he doesn’t apologize in the way that the media wants him to so he becomes the whipping boy.

Clearly we all want some of our information to be private and remain private because it is intimate to us.

But, make no mistake, there is no such thing as privacy anymore.


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Channel Checking Chipotle’s Chiptopia Craze & Coupons

Say that 10 times as fast as you can.

I’ve been long $CMG common for a couple months now ($392 entry) as I believe it has bottomed and here’s why:

We will finally be getting info on how the Chiptopia promo helped or hurt Chipotle.  Here are the reward levels if you have been living in a cave and hate burritos and Chipotle.


Now, my channel checks aren’t like real analyst’s channel checks (real analyst = oxymoron?).  I keep it local and I keep it intimate and I keep it qualitative.  This is how you can actually gain an advantage instead of falling into the herd mentality by watching CNBC all day.  I have a couple of friends who actually achieved Hot status in the Chiptopia promo.  They will of course be inviting me to their 20 person party.  I actually was only going for mild status but forgot to scan my card a couple times in the last month so I missed out on a free burrito.  How many people do you think tried to get the Chiptopia hot status but then missed by a visit or two?  I would imagine a lot.

Obviously, this Chiptopia promo was to lure customers back to the chain after the great E. coli scare of 2015 where a handful of people got sick.  Did anyone die?  I don’t know, maybe a couple.  People slowly die every day from eating the crap at McDonald’s so I’ll call it a wash.  I have never seen lines as long as I have at Chipotle since the Chiptopia promo started.  We actually started calling in our order at 9am so that we could go there and pick it up without having to wait 20-30 minutes in line.

The other channel check I did was somewhat intuitive, I thought at least, although not completely quantitative.  There is a coupon gift card website called Raise.com.  The site buys and sells hundreds of different gift cards.  So for instance, say you got a $100 gift card for Chipotle at Xmas and you know you will never use it, you can go on this site and sell it for a slight discount, say 2% or $98.  I’ve never sold one on there but the going rate discount is based off simple supply and demand.  If no one wants your shitty gift card to McDonald’s then you will have to sell it at a higher percentage off what you obtained it for.

Anyways, back 3 or 4 months ago when I was dipping into my $CMG position I went onto this site and noticed that there were tons of Chipotle gift cards going at 17% off.  That to me seemed like a huge discount, seeing as some gift cards get bought at only a 1% discount, but it was also right after the final E. Coli headline and right before Chiptopia started.  So I ended up picking up a couple of gift cards and used them throughout the Chiptopia promo.   I took a look back today at the Chipotle gift cards on Raise and there are only 25 available going for a 2% discount.  Which means 1 of 2 things to me: Demand is high and/or supply is low and the Chiptopia promo has actually worked and people have started coming back into the restaurants to enjoy their burritos.

A quick take at Chipotle’s chart shows it has been basing for the past 4 months.  It has traded in a range of 385 to 445 since June, most times going in straight lines up and straight lines down.  Taking a step back you can clearly see that the stock has started the bottoming process as it was previously shitcanned (pun intended) from $750 to $385 in less than a year.  It is also finally catching up to the 200DMA which would be a catalyst for some swing trader longs to hop in thinking the worst is over.  It came within a few dollars of tagging the 200DMA yesterday and it hasn’t been above it since October 20, 2015, almost a year ago.

Fundamentals aren’t great but aren’t terrible either, just depends on what you look at.  You can make a bear case by saying their same store sales are abysmal and food costs are rising and worker turnover and wages are high.  M Science (never heard of them) came out with a bearish note this morning shitting on them before earnings and they are down a swift 3.5%.  Nice timing asshats.

Margins always get hit with promos, but will the revenue gain from the Chiptopia promo help offset this and bring people back?  I feel somewhat comfortable holding shares (gambling) into earnings seeing as I already have a 8% gain.  From Nasdaq website:

Chipotle Mexican Grill, Inc. is expected to report earnings on 10/25/2016 after market close. The report will be for the fiscal Quarter ending Sep 2016. According to Zacks Investment Research, based on 17 analysts’ forecasts, the consensus EPS forecast for the quarter is $1.69.

The short float is near 19%.  So any beat on earnings could cause a huge short covering rally.  Let’s see how this one plays out and what investors focus on when they report.  Forward guidance is always key, if Chipotle says customers are coming back, that could be the fuel needed to ignite the next phase of the rally back to 500 and beyond.

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Pence Destroys Kaine; CNN Goes Full Libtard

From CNN/ORC Instant Poll: Pence Narrowly Wins Debate

This poll is among debate watchers (and among debate watchers there were slightly more Democrats watching than Republicans).  CNN some how had Pence still beating Kaine 48 to 42%.

Here are the results from two other polls:

Did Kaine do better or worse than you expected?

Better: 38%, Worse: 43%, Same: 15%

Did Pence do better or worse than you expected?

Better: 67%, Worse: 14%, Same: 15%

Now from the all-important Ramp Capital poll, which means everything:

If Pence was a public trading stock and they reported earnings like this, the stock would go up 40% the next day.

Bonus material:

CNN went FULL LIBTARD tonight.  They got a room of 20 undecided voters (counted 28?) in Richmond, Virginia where Tim Kaine is Senator and asked who won tonight’s debate.  I’m done.  I literally, can’t, even.

It’s too bad we can’t have both of these guys run for President instead of the all-unimportant Vice President position.  Pence would still mop the floor with both Kaine and HRC.

Tune in on Sunday, we will be live-tweeting the Presidential Debate on IBC.

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The First Presidential Debate: Turd Sandwich Versus Giant Douche

The first presidential debate begins on Monday night. You will get to see the two most hated presidential candidates to ever run for office square off against each other. This will be entertainment at its finest. A giant douche versus a turd sandwich. The anticipation and lead up to this event has been almost unbearable.  Blood will be drawn, mud and feces will be thrown, and tears will be shed. Hatred will flow.

I ran and poll recently to see who you would rather vote for and here are the results:

Unfortunately, I am not sure if I will be able to live tweet or watch the debate because I will be on vacation with no cell phone service. But I’m sure I can find a Wi-Fi somewhere on the island and if so I will tune in. I will most likely be intoxicated on sugary rum drinks and rolling cigars with the locals while wrapped in mosquito nets trying to stay away from the Zika virus. I will be recording it on my DVR back home so that I can rewatch it whenever I feel sad or lonely. I suggest you do the same.

I think it is only fair that we create a drinking game for this momentous occasion, it’s the American way. Feel free to add buzzwords from giant douche’s vocabulary in the comment section below that we can drink to. I  haven’t been following turd sandwich enough to know her favorite buzzwords but here is a good list for giant douche:

Make America Great Again

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You Are All Degenerate Gamblers

You are all degenerate gamblers.  “But Ramp, I don’t gamble, I invest.”  Ok, keep telling yourself that.  The market attracts degenerates like yourself.  Ask yourself a simple question: How long could you go without checking the market?

I ran an interesting poll on Twitter and here are the results:

I have to say, I am in the 1-hour camp whenever I have any access to cellular data or wifi.  If I don’t have access to cellular data, I find a way to get a hold of a paper or gain access to wifi.  It has almost become a problem.  Why do we feel the need to consistently keep an eye on the market?  Even if we consider ourselves active traders or active investors, we don’t always make the moves we said we would when we consistently keep an eye on the market because we second guess ourselves.

Take today for example.  As I type this, the market is down 1.85%.  We haven’t made a 1% move in 2 months.  In that 2 month span I bet you were saying you would be a buyer of any dip.  Well, guess what, the dip has arrived and you are probably not buying.  Instead of buying, you are watching what everyone else is doing on Twitter, watching your portfolio grind lower, and waiting for a teevee talking head to tell you what to do.  You are probably also tweeting arcane stock market quotes about trading price and levels and taking profits. Stop doing that, it’s dumb.

It is quite interesting to note how down days bring out the best in everyone on Financial Twitter.  I’m not sure why that is, but I thoroughly enjoy it.  People love to watch train wrecks from a safe distance because they are sick in the head.

We still have a couple hours before the Ramp.  Let’s see what I have in store for the kiddos.

PS: I don’t gamble. I win.

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