FLASH: THE MARKET IS IN THE PROCESS OF DRIVING RAIL SPIKES INTO THE SKULLS OF BEARS

Deutsche Telekom is considering a stock-swap transaction that would give the German company control over the combined entity, which would be publicly listed, said two of the people, who declined to be identified because the talks are private. Other options include an initial public offering or an outright sale of T-Mobile USA, the people said, adding that Deutsche Telekom is also in talks with other companies. MetroPCS shares jumped as much as 29 percent in New York.

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Hilarious

Apartment rents in Manhattan have roared to an historic high.

The average apartment now costs $3,429 a month.

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Asian stocks are down 1%+. Nothing too scary, just ordinary face-punching.

Brazilian borrowing costs are slightly better than that of Pakistan, 3rd worst of all developed nations.

Oh, and their GDP sucks too.

These changes are the result of the actions taken by the Board to address stock sales by Mr. Stiller’s and Mr. Davis’ brokerage firm, which sales were inconsistent with the Company’s internal trading policies. Specifically, Mr. Stiller and Mr. Davis had margin call-related stock sales totaling 5.548 million shares, reflected in Form 4 filings filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission today. These forced sales were related to margin loans, which were secured by pledges of Mr. Stiller’s and Mr. Davis’ GMCR stock and triggered by recent GMCR stock price activity.

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On the morning of the massage Travolta had “a strange demeanor, bloodshot eyes and climbed onto the already setup massage table…Travolta removed the entire sheet from his body, and he claimed the sheets were sticky and could not tolerate the heat…Travolta further indicated that he likes a lot of “Glutes” work meaning a massage on his buttocks…While he was massaging near Travolta’s buttocks area, Travolta would open his legs and spread his butt cheeks open and had a full erection and would maneuver in a way to try to force Doe Plaintiff No. 2 to touch his anus and around his anus.”

As the massage came to an end “Travolta suddenly turned on his stomach with his legs wide open with a full erection. He then tried to force Doe Plaintiff No. 2’s hand on Travolta’s scrotum. Then, Travolta started to grab, rub and caress Doe Plaintiff no. 2’s upper thighs and buttocks….Travolta still had an erection and wanted his abdominals done, but Travolta’s erection was in the way and he refused to have his penis covered by a sheet of a pillow case cover…Travolta started masturbating about 15 minutes left in the session, and Doe Plaintiff No.2, said he had to go,” the docs state.

The masseur “complained to all of his supervisors and many coworkers to no avail.” Travolta allegedly went down “to the spa that Plaintiff No. 2 worked at, which is part of the resort Travolta was staying at, as opposed to having Doe Plaintiff No. 2 go to his room. Travolta DEMANDED that Doe Plaintiff No. 2 come back and do it again, and he refused,” the lawsuit asserts.

According to Access Atlanta, Travolta was spotted eating dinner at The Palm restaurant in the swanky enclave of Atlanta, Buckhead aroound January 25 2012, and he was in town filming the movie Killing Season with Robert De Niro in Georgia.

Travolta’s pit-bull attorney, Marty Singer, told us on Monday, that “The problem in America is anyone can sue anyone. However, in this case this unidentified plaintiff and his lawyer will regret they filed this fabricated suit. We intend to sue both of them for malicious prosecution.”

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If anyone tells you there is a liquidity issue in America, they are lying to you.

S.A.C. Capital discloses 5.0% stake in 13G filing

At a press conference in parliament, Alexis Tsipras has said that the country’s commitment to an EU/IMF rescue deal has become null after voters rejected pro-bailout parties in Sunday’s election. “The popular verdict clearly renders the bailout deal null.”

He said said that Antonis Samaras and Evangelos Venizelos must take back their written support for the memorandum – by writing a letter to Brussels informing them of this. He presented his policy platform which he said was based on 5 pillars:

1. Immediate begation of the memorandum
2. Negation of all coming measures that will affect all aspects of employment law
3. Immediate changes to election legislation and negation of the ministerial culpability law
4. State control of banks
5. The creation of an international auditing body, with the purpose of finding a serious and logical solution to Greece’s debt repayment.

He once again extended his hand to all powers of the left, praising KKE’s position on protecting the unemployed and said that he still aimed at forming a government with all parties supporting leftist and eco-friendly ideology.

He noted that the formation of a coalition government with New Democracy and Pasok, was not possible for they were not looking at saving the nation, but saving the memorandum.

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It’s worth noting, the bearish sentiment has not resulted in higher borrowing costs in Europe this morning.

Click on picture for full/revealing document.

South Korea – South Korea has seized thousands of smuggled drug capsules filled with powdered flesh from dead babies, which some people believe can cure disease, officials said Monday.

The capsules were made in northeastern China from babies whose bodies were chopped into small pieces and dried on stoves before being turned into powder, the Korea Customs Service said.

Customs officials refused to say where the dead babies came from or who made the capsules, citing possible diplomatic friction with Beijing. Chinese officials ordered an investigation into the production of drugs made from dead fetuses or newborns last year.

The customs office has discovered 35 smuggling attempts since August of about 17,450 capsules disguised as stamina boosters, and some people believe them to be a panacea for disease, the customs service said in a statement. The capsules of human flesh, however, contained bacteria and other harmful ingredients.

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