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White House Scientists Struggle to Contain Outbreak of Scrutonium

WASHINGTON DC – Engaged a relentless battle against time and fatigue, a select group of message scientists assembled by the White House’s Center for Narrative Control say they will take “all steps necessary” to contain a recent outbreak of scrutonium, a deadly poll-eating supervirus that attacks the immuno-hope system, leaving victims vulnerable to material facts.

“Failure is simply not an option,” said an exhausted Mission Chief David Axelrod. “If left unchecked, this virus may actually force us to move back to Chicago.”

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One comment

  1. drummerboy

    and moochelle became so faint at the possibility that she may never again get to spend close to 14 million taxpayer dollars to go on vacation ever again,that the chicago machine had to evac her back to chicago for an emergency slipadictome.

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