In the aftermath of this one sided game of chicken, I’m opting to take a minute to veer directly into the heart of politics. You see, I am a political zealot at my core. And while most of the time (sans elections) I do my best to keep it to a dull roar, this compels a direct response.
You see, when I go to the voting booth, I cast a straight Republican ticket. The first time I have ever voted for a Democrat occurred in the last election cycle, interesting enough, when I marked the ballot for one President Barrack Obama.
Mind you, I didn’t vote for him because I thought he would do a good job. To the contrary, I voted for him precisely because I knew he would do a bad one.
And in that respect, he has not disappointed. His management style is soft and lacks executive interest. His underlings run amok. The men and women he entrusts with delicate tasks are incompetent and generally corrupt. And because of that, less than a year after the last elections, we’re up to our necks in scandals that would have otherwise broken quietly out of the view of the public.
And then, just a few weeks ago, the federal ACA exchanges were rolled out; and it has been nothing shy of a complete disaster.
To put it bluntly, I voted for Obama to stack a Royal Flush for the GOP next cycle.
But there was one element of this plan I could not foresee. The Tea Party.
There was going to be a point in time when the GOP was supposed to go all in. That goes without saying. I just would have liked them not to go all in on the first bet. But as tasteless as that choice was, the Tea Party’s other major blunder is just inexcusable.
The Tea Party were dealt a Royal Flush, you jackasses. You had one job to do – one God damned job – show up, and keep your heads down. So what did you do?
You were dealt an unbeatable hand, so you burned the ace!?
Sure, I mean, why not introduce some help for everyone else at the table? That makes perfect sense. It’s not like Obama was so roiled by scandals his presidency had basically come to a screeching halt. It’s not like the exchange launch was the culmination of failure that, if left undisturbed, would have been a launching point as evidence of all the criticism government run healthcare has been receiving up until now.
No, it made complete sense to interrupt the entire process and distract everyone from these legitimate criticisms just so you could remind the entire planet what a stupid bunch of schmucks you are.
And who knows, maybe you’ll even be dealt a same suited ace? That would give you a Royal Flush. That’s an unbeatable hand!