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Michigan Putting Detroit Back On The Map

I for one have had more than enough of the Great Tragedy that is Detroit. Back in the days of Billy Durant, JP Morgan, and Rockefeller, Detroit was a beacon of the Industrial Revolution. The New Paris, it was a destination of distinguished and refined people the world over. Wealth flowed up and down the lakes of Michigan, and Her pride could not be measured.

Today, Detroit is a shit heap.

That last sentence is both succinct and proper – dilapidation deserves few words. Detroit is a terrible place because her residents are stupid people. Every bad judgement that can be exercised has been exercised in Detroit. If you can come up with a horrible idea, Detroit has tried that idea, sometimes multiple times in a row.

Today, the first steps towards the revitalization of this historical city have been made.

Kevin Orr, hand picked general of Rick Snyder (may his pimp hand always be strong), destroyed the gates of the city and entered her walls. The terror of the unwashed masses was great, as any man foolish enough to have lent Detroit money was lead into the public square for prompt execution.

Hail Caesar!

Less the populace think they would get off unscathed for their part in Detroit’s dishonorable rot, Orr then turned his war machine on the cushy public sector jobs and retiree benefits, battering them to ashes. A clear message was sent shivering through the public body: if you are going to choke out a city…nay, a culture…in an attempt to grant yourself her treasury, your claims will not be honored, and you will be left by the wayside.

The entire structure of public unions, city workers, and culture of corruption has been put on notice in a single, fell swipe.

To summarize the exact actions taken today:

If you are owed money by Detroit, you are done
If you are owed benefits by Detroit, you are done
If you receive an excessive salary from Detroit, you are done
If you held any amount of power or sway in Detroit, you are done
If you are keeping Detroit from revitalizing her public services and spaces, you are done
If you are the source of the sprawling blight in Detroit, you are done
If you are a voice keeping taxes high in Detroit, you are done
If you are one of the people generally creating racial tensions to the detriment of the city, you are done
If you are an obstacle to Detroit, you are done

The deal Orr put forward was so byzantine…I positively love it. It’s time to clean out the dead wood, by purging fire. A lesson must be taught: when you let yourself fall sucker to lies and deceit and false promises, no one will be coming to save you. Anyone who let themselves be tricked into thinking those empty promises of pensions, benefits and payments from a defunct body were subject to protections or guarantees by the rest of the state has felt the first shot across the bow today.

Rick Snyder (may his pimp hand always be strong) has heard the demands from those who elected him clear and distinctly. Anyone tangled in Detroit’s corruption is to be cut down at the knees.

Michigan has had quite enough of the Renaissance City’s oxymoron for one lifetime.

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HAIL CAESAR

Finally!

Citing runaway deficits and long-term debts Detroit could never repay on its own, Gov. Rick Snyder today pulled the trigger and announced he will appoint an emergency financial manager for the state’s largest city.

Read here:

It is about time somebody stepped up and smacked down this city and the incompetent fools who “run” it. You would think 30 years of rampant corruption and blatant unethical conduct would be grounds enough – a ‘mandate from heaven’ – for anyone in any leadership position in the State at large to annex this God-forsaken place without debate; but no, we had to spend the last three years in what is essentially bankruptcy, pretending like any of us cared what JoAnn Watson ‘thinks’ (believe me I use that term real loosely).

Sorry folks, but there is no “absolute right” to self governance. Particularly if you make bad decisions, squandering resources and destroying credit in the name of the public – your credibility is attached to those things. The rest of us should not have to suffer while you roll around in the mud, dragging us down into a state of rancor with you.

Detroit is simply not suited for pure democracy…because Her people are too stupid. A democracy cannot adequately function when half the population can barely read. I appreciate that many people in Detroit are very poor and need help; however, “help” is not placing those people in delicate positions of power where lots of other citizens depend on them.

I care about Detroit’s poor. I do not care about Detroit’s poor’s ideas for fixing their own condition.

I welcome the authoritarian wielding absurd levels of zero oversight, no contest declarations. This city is already on its knees; time to cut out the cancer and begin the real rebirth – through fire.

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First Of The Municipal Bankruptcies: Detroit

I invite you, my dear reader, to take part in this historic moment with me. At hand is the first in a wave of municipal bankruptcies that will shake the country. And this avalanche begins with none other than Detroit, MI.

Detroit, long the asshole of the United States, has been the butt of jokes for the better part of four decades now.

From her amazing ability to elect criminals to every facet of government, to her unparalleled capacity to stick her head in the ground and refuse to acknowledge any problems, and her intense insistence to reduce every issue, be it fraud, accounting scandals, ineptitude, or murdering hookers named Strawberry, down to a simplified and wrong message of race, Detroit is without a doubt the poster child for other American cities ranging from Chicago to Philadelphia to DC.

After the Great Rick Snyder (May The Gods Watch Over Him) was elected to his chair as governor of Michigan, he quickly implemented a series of reforms designed to save the city (and the rest of the State from it). The keystone to this initiative was the installation of Emergency Financial Managers.

However, the EFM law was put to ballot this election, and the Michigan people ultimately struck it down. This has set into motion an avalanche of consequence, very much to the alarm of those of us that were waiting to be delivered by the saving grace of this “Caesar”.

HAIL CAESAR.

Sadly, this bright future is gone now. I have heard only one reasonable explanation for voting against the EFM law, thus far. It came from a friend, who said, and I quote, “Fuck the emergency manager. Last I checked, we have judges for ripping apart failed entities.”

So be it, and fair enough. This was always a matter of choosing which faceless individual got to shred the unions that have cluttered Michigan. Continuing as we have was never an option.

But, unfortunately, the only way a judge can make these decisions is AFTER a municipal bankruptcy.

Sensing that their time at the trough may be over, yesterday a very panicked JoAnn Watson (resident lunatic of Detroit City Council) came out with a passionate plea for the rest of the country to facilitate her staying in power.

It is critical, you see, that she be allowed to enact her every whim at your expense, because her ideas are so awesome. You just don’t realize how awesome they are, because they haven’t worked. But they are, and she is so cool.

However, I do not see bailing out Detroit as a viable option for the feds. Rick Snyder and the GOP are also overreaching at the same moment (in my opinion) by bringing to the table Right To Work legislation (Michigan remains a very pro-union state, regardless of the recent ballot failures). Should Obama&Co. decide to bail out Detroit, it would shift outrage from the MI GOP for this legislation and back to support as a Detroit bailout from Washington is sure to enrage most of the country, and most of Michigan.

The rest of Michigan hates Detroit, because they are faggots to this state’s furze-cutter.

Now, watch with me good crazy people of the internet, as the second stone falls into place.

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