As melodramatic panic hits the waves, Facebook and all social media stocks topple into total despair. The indices crumble. Morose manic depression forces men to wallow in their boots, while widows and orphans cry from an unforeseen location. The entire world is ending, and everybody hates you.
It was not supposed to be this way.
$FB was the single greatest effort of investment banking in the last 5 years. It was to be a shining beacon of financial splendor, complete with all the trimmings. FB IPO DAY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL.
Instead, we have this disgusting “Woodstock” before us; as dirty vagrants dance on their graves, and mourners go about the streets.
Where art thou! Cocaine lines and mustard seeds? WHY DID YOU FORSAKE US!?
“I just wanted hookers and blow…,” cries the vicenarian trader. He was but hired to his new job only two weeks ago. So sad. So sad. Now, he will be fired, and forced to eat his dog. And Christmas will be cancelled.
California has always sucked dick. But now they will have to own up to it.
Now, with all of Europe and Asia being swallowed by the deepest circles of Hell, there is no more hope.Comments »