iBankCoin
Stock advice in actual English.
Joined Sep 2, 2009
1,224 Blog Posts

Sure Let’s Default. I’m All In

Alright, it seems like the benevolent Tea Part folk have decided to share their complete inability to grasp simple concepts with the world, by forced contrition on the populace. It is time to eat our peas. Following the line of Obama’s hatred for those damn jet plane flying 1%-ers, the Tea Party have chosen to one up him, by destroying the 1% in its entirety. An unfortunate and slight side effect may be to destroy the other 99% of the country in the process, but hey…sometimes sacrifices must be born for the good of everyone. So making moves for the ill of everyone is the only logical course of action.

In an attempt to honor Argentina’s dim witted socialist president Fern├índez de Kirchner for her blood clot, the Tea Party have magnanimously extended a show of us revisiting that countries darkest moment, a point from which it has never recovered: elective default.

Remember that one time the global economy nearly collapsed because a single line of business for US banks bet large sums of money that non-creditworthy citizens would default at abnormally low rates in exchange for paper thin margins on those loans?

Well the entire global economy and all of finance has bet gargantuan sums of money that this non-creditworthy country will never default for no fucking margins.

By all means, how do you think this ends?

Frankly, I don’t care anymore, and am all in. Lay your neck under the axe, and taunt these pussies with all your hatred. See if they have the sack to swing.

What’s the alternative? You can turn all short doubling your money with the end of civilization, just in time to burn it to stay warm? You can barter that paper desperately for some precious metals that aren’t for sale? You can get shot by rioters and have it taken off your corpse?

Because if we actually default, it’ll be to late to go out and prepare. Just think of all the mechanisms that are tied to treasuries. There will be bank failures. And a slow, agonizing process as US spending on interest careens towards $1 trillion annually.

In the meantime, staying in our means would require we basically slash in half one of the following:

The entire defense budget OR
The entire non-defense budget

The point of the matter is that if we default, this place is going to get so screwed up anyway, what does it matter? At some point if the decision were not reversed, the man you know as Cain Hammond Thaler would simply cease to exist. His 9th floor office would be deserted; the only clue that he was ever there at all being an empty safe that used to house his silver and firearms and row upon row of cleaned out bookshelves.

I would simply take up my favorite pocket watch and walking stick, and slip away into the night…never to be heard from again.

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13 comments

  1. The Fly

    LOL

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  2. Joe

    Sign me up.

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  3. mojo

    Let the market speak!

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  4. Dynomite

    At least the sons of the Confederate so idlers finally have another chance to bring down the Union once and for all.

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  5. surplusdroids

    Awesome!
    Well, if the “armageddon default” did happen.

    One bright side is this..
    Remember the old rule..
    If you owe the bank a million dollars you are the one in trouble.
    If you owe the bank 10 billion..the bank is in trouble.

    Here, China and other countries are “our bank”. (as well as entities in the U.S.)

    But if we were to have the “armageddon default”…wouldn’t the rest of the world be in trouble as well?

    Not disagreeing at all with what you say.
    Just thinking of how to prosper in the future because business and trade will resume. Especially if the whole world is on fire for a bit.

    Disclaimer: I really suck at macro analysis.

    Norway defaulted and apparently they are rocking. (so says the media anyway.) And Norway is not comparable to the U.S. (apples and oranges)

    But perhaps they could be comparable to Argentina?

    Great post Cain. Kicking ass as always.

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  6. SGT HARTMAN

    East coasters love dramatics. If something doesn’t fit their schema then off to la-la land they go…

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    • Mr. Cain Thaler

      I don’t live on the East Coast

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    • TheHarper

      Look at Mr. Middle America here spout his ignorant conservative views about “east coasters” …is it because they have better educations than you, SGT HARTFAG?

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  7. From Gorby

    Were off to see the wizard ….

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  8. Maracka Flacka Flame
    Maracka Flacka Flame

    Fun fact: Destroying the one percent doesn’t destroy everything, it creates a new paradigm and a new one percent. This is not a bad thing unless you are rich, which I am not.

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    • Mr. Cain Thaler

      No upending the global standard of finance pretty much destroys everything…

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