iBankCoin
I've been doing this a long time.
Joined Oct 7, 2015
96 Blog Posts

The next Tesla Roadster will be able to FLY!

I no longer feel like a voice in the wilderness. Others are picking up on the pile of stinking excrement that is Elon Musk.

The above article was picked up by Zerohedge over the weekend. It is only a metter of time before the MSM stops fawning over Musk and turns on him like a pack of jackals.

The Ponzi Scheme is clear: conjure up and repeat utterly fantastical “visions” of the future of electric vehicles in a desperate attempt to draw in more rubes who will gleefully hand you cash money to keep your house of cards from turning to dust.

Yep, just unveil a truck that does not exist. Never mind trivia like where it would be built, how it would be financed or even how it would  carry normal payloads after being saddled with the weight of multiple enormous battery packs. Then just arbitrarily toss out a number for alleged range on said non-existent vehicle. I have seen that number swell from 200 miles to 500 miles just in the past week. And of course it will be able to accept a full recharge in as little as 30 minutes from a non-existent “Megacharger”. Said charger is rumored to be powered by the sun!

And if that doesn’t generate enough buzz to bring in more desperately needed capital, just tell them the other non-existent fucking thing can fly:

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a FLYING TESLA!

“There is a sucker born every minute”, said P.T. Barnum. Now THAT man was a visionary.

The collapse of this monstrosity is going to make Solyndra look tame. I understand Disney ($DIS) has placed the first order for ten trucks. As soon as I publish this blog entry I am logging into eTrade and selling my $DIS shares. I refuse to invest in companies run by fools.

And what better way to ensure that the government will continue to shovel cash into your gaping maw than to diss Donald Trump by publically resigning from his Technology Council? I see this as Trump’s reaction the next time Tesla comes begging, hat in hand:

“And then has asked for another $10 billion to cover 2nd-Q interest!”

I understand Musk’s next Big Thing is to colonize the planet Mars. I recommend we send Musk, Gov. Jerry “Moonbeam” Brown and the entire board of Walt Disney Corp as the first inhabitants. There should be plenty of solar energy available to power Mars Station Musk, thereby eliminating the need for a capital infusion. Godspeed, lads.

“Anyplace you can think of, you could be” -Paul Kantner, 1970

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11 comments

  1. lastbid

    fuck yes

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  2. sarcrilege

    What are you saying? That Musty Elon is not “Mankind’s Last Hope, our One True Leader?”

    Then some of you have the nerve to express your squalid lack of faith for Mankind’s Last Hope, our One True Leader, a ray of hope in an abyss of darkness. Of course I am speaking of Elon Musk (all Praise and Glory to The Leader) and his team of engineers at Tesla. He has repeatedly proven his ability to raise cash for his ‘fantasies’ in a variety of ways. He actually believes the science community, who is screaming from the roof that climate change is the biggest risk to our species. And he is smashing through obstacles to alter the path we are taking.

    I am so confused now:
    https://tinyurl.com/ya9xwpde

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  3. tonka

    Your critique of Musk reminds me of one of the greatest things penned in these hallowed halls:

    http://ibankcoin.com/mr_cain_thaler/2015/03/25/the-genius-expert-problem/

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  4. juice

    @maven — are you short &/or just throwing bricks off a highway overpass in childish fits of self-frustration and jealousy for being unable to live a life of happiness and satisfaction?

    Your critique, if it could be called that, is so run of the mill, Business Insider wouldn’t even run with it. I’m surprised Monsieur, Sir le Fly, lets you post your insipid blather, barely even fit for the pages of seeking alpha.

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  5. mad marsupial

    Forget about electric and space. Musk is a genius….. at sucking in government taxes and subsidies. If he had started out in vacuum cleaners, Hoover, Dyson, Electrolux & Miele would be out of business.

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