Turnaround Tuesday is failing. Stocks are lower and a new theory from my Twitter stream suggests it’s my fault.
To understand this compelling argument go back to yesterday morning. On my influential and amusing Twitter stream I implied stocks were lower because Peyton Manning is a PED-using beer distributor hogging teammate Von Miller’s spotlight. Most of that was in the subtext of this graphic:
Clearly I was kidding. Or was I…?
Sharp-eyed Twitter follower @ZagaInvestment quickly saw through my Jedi Mind Trick hi-jinks:
My accuser was backed up by another follower, who noted the genuine out-sized influence my 26k [sic… it’s almost 27k] followers:
There are a few possibilities here.
One is that I have intentionally used my snarky genius superpower to trigger a $6 trillion decline in the value of global stocks since the start of 2016. In this case you can either oppose me and die or grab a seat and watch me make humanity dance like puppets at the end of my mind-strings.
Another possibility is that I’m doing this accidentally. Like Rae in “Star Wars: The Remake” I am only now discovering my power to control the fate of the world. If so, buckle up because there are going to be some changes made as soon as I get a handle on the Force contained in my blood(?).
I’m not going to lie; I like both of those options. A lot.
Sadly, I suspect the truth is people are losing money and seeking scapegoats. My value-add in that case is largely symbolic. If I am evil then their portfolios aren’t down because of decisions they made but rather due to something I said. They are not wrong, I am just a jerk. (Clearly these are not mutually exclusive but that’s a topic for another note.)
If it makes you feel better to blame me go right ahead and do so. Just know that at best you are surrendering all agency in your financial destiny to a guy (me) who thinks he’s trying to help but is actually killing you. At worst you are making a powerful enemy.
Either way, it seems like you’d want me on your side…
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It’s a Jeff Macke world…and the rest of us are all just living in it.
Apparently… Hopefully this helps my kids get into good colleges
Plenty of idiots on these social medias… been like that since MySpace
you’re the Don of Dons…Father Macke.
We all make our own decisions in these here markets. I just love the artwork. Cheers and keep up the good work.
please send a tweet saying NFLX should be $60.
Have these guys lost any concept of cause and effect?
The twitter nerds are taking your tweet way to seriously.
If any money manager moves a “metric fuck ton of money”, based upon 126 characters of information, they are an idiot.
(A metric fuck ton is exactly 2 standard deviations above “a shitload.”)
They make their own choices, voluntarily, and push the sell button.
I still like to think of you as some diabolical genius. Great post.
If it weren’t for social media we’d be left wondering if someone like Rifkin is an idiot rather than having it confirmed by his own words. Praise Twitter.
We shall sacrafic 20,000 white bulls in your name. Please humble us with 20K DOW
Love the Art Work, did you see that piece on that Girl selling Lines as Art for 10,000 a piece. IMHO you should find her Art Dealer and have them represent you..your art is so much better. OK, this is just the Bubble we have been watching forever finally falling apart. I think it start in Feb 2014 when SPX was at 1755ish, since then commodities have collapsed, now the banks that made all the bad loans to the commodities speculators are collapsing…the USD weakness is still a bit strange for me today? Maybe it’s DB raising Euros to do that massive Buyback, lol ouch.
With great power comes great responsibility… Just logged in to pay my respects.
Dear Jeff, stop making the stock market go down. Thanks.
Stock Pickasso.
Jeff my mother is sick. Could you please tweet and make her better. I think I saw your face in a cup of coffee the other day–it’s a miracle!
I started a position in AMZN today. Pray for me.